Tuesday, September 30, 2008

On Pablo Neruda's Poem on Forgetting a Romance

I found these words from a Cosmo thread on Cosmopolitan that I started. A lot of people have responded and I found these words from Pablo Neruda striking me. A poem about forgetting a romance. It quite hurts like ouch! But as much as I could I try not to be so bothered by the words. I know it's still up to two people how to make a relationship work.

Read on.

by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Things Are Somewhat Unresolved

11:20 pm September 3, 2008

Anywhere now, there are almost a lot of things left unresolved. Issues still hanging and waiting for decisions and truths waiting to be revealed.

Waiting for the conclusion of unresolved matters is one painstaking matter. Living on the thought day by day is indeed hard. Letting go of some decisions are not that easy especially if you’ve been enjoying the best part of it.

It’s been almost a month since I learned about the tragic story of Atenean and band vocalist Tara Santelices who was shot during a hold up incident in Cainta Rizal last August 6, the day of her 23rd birthday. Today, she lay in a hospital bed in the state of a coma since the incident. Her image today was very much different from that of her graduation photo. I’ve followed her story by the blogs and bulletins of my friends as well as my boyfriend who had an opportunity to be with her in one event and through write-ups about her on the internet. And almost a month after since the incident, the criminals responsible of the crime are at large and free while their victim though breathing is unconscious still fighting and holding on for dear life.

Sometimes though I might sound cruel, I can’t help but say why can’t those criminals be the one to die instead? I have high regards to my faith that it sounds rude to speak ill against other people but then, with what those people do against someone, for sure others would say the same thing, at least once. And I know it’s hard for people close to her to see her that way. That the once bubbly and lively 23-year old suddenly had a different twist if fate. While the criminals roam free despite hiding from authorities while Tara and her family live in uncertainty.

On the other hand, I also have my own batch of unresolved things. It has been a week since I resigned from work and right now, I am dealing with the aftermath of it. I had to endure the feeling of a different morning after, the longing for the sight of my space, the voice of the people that I worked with, the presence of the person on the other side of the wall who I used to call Darling Teacher and the company of my students. It was indeed a hard feeling for me that I decided to leave. But I know that I just had to in exchange for a better opportunity both career wise and financially. I know this unresolved feeling is because of holding on to the experience that I can’t easily let go and I hope to get over it. And I also hope for a better job in the near future.

UPDATE: Just this morning before I posted this entry, I learned through Q TV's Balitanghali that a witness had surfaced to give a testimony during the shooting incident of Tara Santelices. The witness also described the person responsible for shooting Tara. On the other hand, although Tara is still fighting for dear life but showing some good signs possible for recovery.