Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Indeed The Advice Was Right

In the middle of my busy weekend's agenda writing another article for one of my editors (who funny as it seems love to inform me of an assignment in the evening rather than at daytime), I slipped into a moment contemplating with some what-have-I list. And sewing the things together, I found out that one of the advice sent to me once by this editor over email months ago really makes sense.

Of all the advices written there, words that I normally go through and read most of the time, I was challenged to try and see this advice really work:

Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.

In relation to that note, I figured out that:

1. I could do things and go out of my comfort zone. Career wise it was what I learned. Back then, I know I really wanted to go write for a magazine; the glossy (READ: commercial) type--the one that you see in the racks of bookstores. But I know, the world out there is too complicated enough for someone like me who feels uneasy wearing the latest fashion statement, or is too manang to write on topics like sex and those related to it--which is a must in such industry.

When I was first offered by my former professor Sir Ariel Vidanes to write for Highlights, the first thing that actually ran at the back of my head was, "look, this office is with MERALCO, I don't know anything about a power-generating company except for the electric bill that I receive every month. What am I going to do and write about?" But I still gave it a try. And time had ran so fast that three years, 12 issues and after a number of articles and subjects (and still growing) had been written, I am still doing it. I found out, being out of your comfort zone is great too. It made me realize there is to more to corporate writing--not just business jargons like I once thought.

2. I could actually have my own business. Dad and Mom wanted me to go into business school in college--to which I have always protested and declined because of a simple reason: I hate Math and numbers isn't my cup of tea. But early this year, I started a small venture still with freelance writing. And while Mom and Dad first had doubts (asking, are you sure, they will pay? for every assignment that I get) they are the same person who grin at the thoguht seeing me leave the house after finishing a job order. I also get offers abroad but I simply can't gamble--yet as I am still new with my business, I'm learning how to run the whole thing.

3. That I can flee away from am abusive relationship. Probably, it was more of I woke up from the whole emotional abuse. A former boss told me that I was a Silent Warrior for I tend to keep things, suffering and all to myself--and maybe I really am for I was like what I told my accountability partner N during one of our conversations, suffering in silence for five years. But in the end, I thought "this man doesn't have the balls to call it quits. He''ll just make a rag doll out of me and I don't want that. I have given enough and I know, I also need to receive something in return--and I mean receiving something positive" So I fleed away.

And as I contemplate on these, I realized, the advice was real. And it keeps on happening everyday. Noawadays, when people hear what I have been doing or what I have done, they would say, "ang tapang mo girl" which actually surprises me. For I don't normally see myself that way. I do things like that for other reasons and being courageous is the least thing in my head.

To which when I try to ponder on their words, I'd find out I have followed the advice. That little voice that said I can't do it was indeed lying.



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