Thursday, November 26, 2009

If You Want to Get It, Work on It--NOW!

Most people can describe me using S words for their first impression--shy which makes them think I'm either masungit or suplada and silent. Deep within me lies the persona of a Silent Warrior.

Now, if there's one thing that leaves me concerned (aside from my physical looks), it's being silent. A thing that rooted from the trait of being conservative, which I've been carrying for such a long time. Manang in other words. For the longest time, I raised myself that there are things that I have to wait for; that I have to wait for that thing or person to come.

Eight years ago, my associate editor Joemar Aquino described me to be this:

"Malakas ang loob na iyakin. Makapal ang mukhang mahiyain."

Sometimes I want to believe it to be for real. But then, I know I like to know a person more. I'm aware if I don't work or do anything about it, chances are I'd be on the losing end (again). And frankly while I'm afraid of being rejected, I am also afraid of living a life of regret and unsettled what-ifs. I've been there four years ago and I know the feeling--which I don't want to feel again.

I am now discerning about it as there is something that I want to achieve. I know I want this thing and I want it to happen. But I'm seeking for an answer from within. I want to know the person and move towards the realization without being tagged a flirt or any negative word.

Sometimes it takes a bit of nudging. And a lot of things are telling me to do it.

And these words that I found days ago seem to push me:

"Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay, kaysa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala."

"We tend to get what we expect." (This sent a good-dose of whack on my head, kung negative ang ineexpect mo, yun ang makukuha mo.)

"Help yourself and God will help you."

"First is always difficult. We don't know things can be done, dreams can be fulfilled, that great accomplishments can be realized until somebody takes the first step."

"Ang taong pumipili ng isang desisyon ay nagiging malaya."

"Life offers you a thousand chances. All you have to do is pick one."

The answers are found within like what someone said. Now, I suppose I better decide. Not unless I'd want the losing end again.

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