Saturday, December 5, 2009

Lasting Friendships Minus the Itch

Whenever I hear the term seven year itch, the first thing that comes to mind is the M word--either monogamy or marriage (but both has to do with the term). Until days ago, I realized there is another word where I can somewhat associate the term with but in a positive light. That is in friendship.

I've been lucky for being blessed with friendships that have lasted for a long time. Two of them were with Miguel and Apple.

Baguio, 2004

Apple and I had a long way from just being colleagues. From classmates to cube mates back in our college editor days. Our bond has been here for eight years. A friend is the brother or sister that you wished to have. And indeed, Apple seems to be my twin soul. I've seen her astig, ass-kicker and comical side, been through being accessory to each other's crimes, how she defended me over those nasty issues--even to really telling people that she is my twin. I know she's the Paulights McCartney who once (and hopefully still) thought of wearing a fairy costume and pink high-cut Chuck Taylor boots for her wedding.

Yes, she loved to play some pranks on me but she proved herself to be the real, frank friend that you can have. Our bond clicks so well her liberal thinking compliments to my conservative side. We get to run to each other for opinions on things that we don't seem to understand. Some of her slap-in-your-cheek advices can really, really wake my sluggish sometimes stubborn way of thinking. And while she got through the race of motherhood and family life ahead of me, I feel happy for her--seeing her view life on a different perspective. Still, now that she's a mom and a wife, she's the friend I run to--especially on matters and questions which are now related to the whole kit and caboodle of mommy hood, parenting, family life and the thing that I'm kinda naive about.


Just when I always thought and said that I can't survive a long-distance relationship, I realized and found out, I can do it pala. These letters speak so evidently.

On the other hand, the friendship I have with Miguel was something that I never expected to travel this far. It was just a plain, simple introduction in UP Los Baños in 2002 through another colleague during a regional competition. I met him only on one occasion and knowing the complications of a long-distance friendship, I actually had thought it will be just a simple acquaintance then, because to think of it, maintaining friendships need effort; but maybe we were able to do that our way. Our means of communication were over snail mails and letters handed to colleagues and later on, though his sister who was also once a student journalist as well as through text messages, eventually through Friendster and now on Facebook. Fast forward to 2009, it was a "breezy" seven years I should say. Funny but weeks ago, we were exchanging post responses with each other missing the adventures of press conferences, the Palawan trip that we were excited about and how we wanted to bring back those good, old times.

Indeed seven years was a long one and Peter Pan Syndrome had started slowly munching on us. Of course, it doesn't come in rose-colored glasses. The relationship I had with these two people also went through "tampuhan" spells. Quirks that are easily healed by forgiveness.

Seven year itch, in my own opinion isn't a valid reason to be the cause of failed relationships-- may it be friendship or marriage. A bond needs exerted effort to work and happily last. These bonds need to be worked on, each passing day. It's a growing, revolving partnership, and when you venture in such endeavor, it's a process where one should not be tired of; loving, learning and living.

But if there is one good thing about growing kinda old and hitting the ages aside from maturity, it's realizing that I can also able to keep friendships as long like these--minus the itch that can't be scratched. Bonds that hopefully will last 'till old age.

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