Saturday, July 17, 2010

A Lot Like Carrie

A few months back, when I went out for a movie date with Beth and Celine to watch Sex and the City 2 there was one thing that was running in my head the whole time.

I was the mini-me of Carrie Bradshaw.

I'd say I found few resemblance with Sarah Jessica Parker's character -- not just careerwise but including the perceptions on certain things; and it dawned on me during one instance.


Together with the unfortunate events that I had the past week, this one caught me a bit off guard. On our way for lunch, I stated my reason on why I have to take lunch break quickly, and one of my darlings, Erika blurted out of these words to me:

"Ay, oo nga ate. Madami ka talagang dapat pag-ipunan kasi malapit ka nang mag settle down."

To which another side comment came in.

"Oo nga naman ate. 25 ka na, perfect age na yan to settle down."

Instead of being irked, I was a little bit alarmed (just a bit). The words of these two girls earned a few more questions from friends (even a bit of discussion with them). For the longest time, I have never thought about that -- or should I say, I'm no longer thinking about that.

Aside from these two, there had been a few more people who kept "pushing" even "inquiring" and at some point "pinning me out" to take that big leap -- again.


So how in the world did I become Carrie Bradshaw's local counterpart? We have this seemingly similar view regarding relationships and marriage -- probably at a certain extent. When I replay in my head that part when she gave her husband an anniversary gift with an engraved message Me and You, just as two, it was exactly the similarity in my head.

I used have gamophobia. For the longest time I really was and I almost got glued to that permanently. I used to say that I'm fine not being married and if ever I do get hitched, I would postpone having kids for a year or so. I even remember telling mom that if ever a kid is within the plan, I just wanted one.

Back then, just like Carrie, I planned then that despite of being married and carrying a new surname, I will still keep my career and continue being a career woman while partly juggling the role of being a wife.

But during that movie date with the girls, I realized Celine's silent point. It shouldn't be that way. There's no such thing as me and you, just as two when it comes to marriage. Contrary to Carrie's way of perceiving marriage, in reality, there can't really be five days with him and two days with just yourself. There's no such thing as five days married, two days single. It's a lifetime once you're in it. At a certain point, you need to welcome the changes that will be brought about by married life, priorities, kids and the whole kit and caboodle of it. Because if you don't, and if you'll just live with the usual morning routine of going to work and coming home just to watch TV and sleep, married life will just be boring.


Back when I was a writer, I came to a point where in the middle of working at night, I was asking at the back of my head, how is it going to be once I get married in a few more years while still in this job. Would I be okay with the set-up of being seen by my kids drafting articles late at night when I should be reading them bedtime stories and cuddling in bed with them and their father?

Much more when I saw Carrie Bradshaw serving take-out food for a hungry hubby, it was at that point, I confirmed how life's going to be if ever -- and if the full career woman mentality remains in me.

And for sure, no one's going to love that. I should know because I used to and is living that kind of life-- coming to work at dawn and coming home crawling to bed at night. But I believe things have to be this way for sometime.


While people have this and that to say regarding me entering a new relationship, I guess I'm still fine with what I have. Funny but regardless of their words, there's no pressure (maybe there's none for now). I know I want to be a wife too and not just a forever writer or career woman for that matter. I, too, want marriage and it's kit and caboodle. I'd love to do the things that a wife does -- but that doesn't include serving pizza for dinner.

I know who I want and who I am waiting for. I'll fall in love again when the time is right and the waiting game finally ends. I believe that some things are worth the wait even if it takes a darn long one. Somewhere probably, he's waiting for me too.

NOTE: Just as I was to post the link on my Facebook wall, the security code revealed he and weddings. If that seems cool, I don't know.

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