Sunday, April 15, 2012

Clarity Comes One at a Time

Photo: Google Images
You might think that the things that happen daily are signs. But if you'll link them all together, it will lead you to one, honest, beautiful answer.
Few nights, ago, I had this strange dream that I was an expectant mother. Of course, I woke up to find out that it was just a dream. While it left me with a weird feeling, I tried to know what that dream meant and found this:
To dream that you are pregnant symbolizes an aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing.

At one point, I realized how that dream could be related to my views about marriage. I have been cynical about it for the longest time; the thought of both having and not having a partner in a married union just sends out those feelings of fear and worry.

But little by little, I just felt those feelings change. Last Holy Wednesday, this thought entered my mind. While doing one of the files at work, the decision of finally settling down camped in my mind, and it had stayed there until now. I don't blame it on the reality that people around me are getting engaged, getting married, having kids or whatnot. It just happened. All of a sudden.

And one morning, while I was inside the church, I found myself trying to include in my prayers, that person God has planned for me. I used to do that but I ceased because of those fears and worries. I tried to ask for it again that morning, and surprisingly, the feeling of serenity and calm followed, and it has been there since. 

I want to believe that that feeling signifies the clarity I may not be verbally asking, but God knew I needed and always wanted.      

Love. It can really sometimes be both weird and surprising.

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