Monday, October 22, 2012

Chasing Sunrise

Photo: Google Images

Today's the first day of my new schedule. While it's just 30 minutes ahead of my previous assignment, trying to catch the sun as it shows up in the morning never felt good. It's such a wonderful, amazing feeling walking to the office with the morning breeze and the sun kissing my face. It's one of the most refreshing sights to behold too.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Preparing the Panic Button

I told myself I won't think too much until the calendar says it's going to be in 20 days. There's something bound to happen 22 days from now and few weeks ago, I made a list of things to do. Some are meaningful, the others necessary.

I think I listed 10. And out of those ten things, I still have 6 left undone. I was up to finish them but because I was given with an assignment by my boss three weeks ago (which might be extended, given that my boss seems to be impressed with how I am currently doing), fulfilling the plans needed to take a backseat while some things in the agenda needed to be placed in a different slot. Case in point, I had been attending novenas daily for three weeks but because I had to to temporarily fill in for someone's job description, had to move my lunch hour which also meant that I would have to do something to compensate missing the novena masses.

Thankfully, I get to find a lot of time to spend quiet moments in prayer after work just before I head home.

The 20-day thought is in two days. I have 6 things left to do in my list and while the thought of leaving things undone had entered my mind, I just don't want to give up that I'd be able to finish them just in time for the big day .

Thursday, October 11, 2012

What's on My Mind as Sung by Maroon 5

There were these thoughts running in my mind for some months now. And I found a perfect description through this song. While the best part is in the chorus, these lines got me best:

You're such a hard act for me to follow
Love me today don't leave me tomorrow, yeah
But if I fall for you, i'll never recover
If I fall for you, I'll never be the same.

To sum it all: If I fall for you, I'll never be the same.

Sometimes, it gives off that good feeling just thinking how it's like to fall and love someone.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Sweet Relief

Another Wednesday in my workweek. But this time, I had to deal with a fast-paced working environment; dividing my body in between clients on the phone, dictations needed to be finished and documents that had to be attended to -- urgently.

And just when I thought that was it, I had almost went through a heated argument with someone  who gave me the biggest disappointment first thing in the morning (talk about timing, really). I was fuming mad deep within but decided not to engage in any exchange of words (it's hard to argue with shallow-minded people who just would not stop yakking) knowing that it will just be a waste of time, and I am not paid by my boss for such kind of crap.

I knew I had to do something to lift my mood; my office mate Kat has been mentioning about this pastry shop, Gigi Coffee & Cupcakes. During lunch, I decided to hop by the said store and try their cupcakes. Upon entering the store, I noticed the minimalist, cozy vibe. The green and white interiors were refreshing. And for their products, I got myself these:

This was my half-eaten Buttercream Cupcake. Sorry for the shot, I was already in the middle of enjoying it when I realized to take a photo using my phone. The first thing I told Kat about this was it tastes like milk -- condensed milk.


This was one of their best sellers, the Red Velvet cupcake. All the while as I was enjoying my buttercream cupcake, I am tempted at trying this one too, but decided against it and took this home as my pasalubong to Mama instead.

Their cupcakes are eye candy. Now if you're to ask my verdict, while I loved that the cupcakes were chewy, moist and somewhat melts in the mouth, it's tad too sweet for my taste. Mama has the same thing to say too. Their cupcakes costs 40 pesos. Now, on this, we have different opinions. I think it's reasonable, Mama was surprised and protested at that.

Oh well, I don't plan to eat this everyday. At least I got to try -- for a change.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

An Oxygen-Less Soul

Prior to the implementation of Anti-Cyberime Law, I have been fond of utilizing social media to the point that I totally neglected the vintage way  of placing things in black and white. In a way, I knew I had my own moments of "lapse of judgement" in taking advantage of the benefits of cyberspace.

The newly-administered law was somewhat a blessing and a bother. Given its provisions, it would be a big help especially for people who experienced and are still experiencing the perils of the Internet and it's vehicles (Facebook, blogs and Twitter to name a few). In a way, having this ordinance could further promote responsibility with the use of these social media.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
While it has its pros, there are some disadvantages to it as well. I believe that reviewing the provisions and  the probability of amending it is necessary. While there is no such thing as absolute freedom, robbing people with the right to exercise their opinion is like depriving someone the right to live. Don't get me wrong. I was once a victim of cyber bullying and while this law could be an effective panacea, I can't say I'm for it but nor am I against it either. The thing about me is that I have difficulty expressing my feelings (anger included) verbally and so I do it in written form. But with the Anti-Cybercrime Law working, it calls not just to be careful but EXTRA careful.

I still believe freedom is not dead. I'm not an oxygen-less soul (yet) and those piles of old journal could prove that (for me). It's still my  sanctuary of comfort. They do tell a lot of stories, compiled my rants, my dumb moments, knew who made me cry then and who could be making me happy now. What's in this blog is just a crumb compared to the whole cake that these diaries keep.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Seventh Heaven

There's a reason to feel like being on top of the world.
The Chinese people has this belief that 7 is a lucky number. Well, I do have a quarter of that since my great grandmother is Chinese so I guess I am entitled to receive some amount of "luck". Yesterday, I celebrated my seventh month of being with and working for the law firm. And while I was reserving the party for the next few weeks, I had to give in to my whim to celebrate the day.

When I got the job in March this year, there has always been a question of how long will this be. In the past, it has always been my prayer that God would let me just get through the first six months. I just don't know why it has been that way. Probably because in my head, I would feel more safe if I would be able to get through the first 180 days of uncertainty and after that, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

But just like the Bible verse said, "don't worry about tomorrow. It will deal on its own." The first few days were more of adjusting which was normal and as the days come and go, I realized things have been getting better. I remember telling my friend Januver that while this is a job, I still feel like going to school every single day of my life. And it indeed is; because I keep learning something new each passing day. As of this moment, I've been on the second week of taking an interim post to cover the job of two assistants while they are on leave. Funny but when I accepted it, the hesitation came afterwards; something that I was upfront in telling my boss about. And all the while that I was stressing about will I fair or fail with the tasks, I would later find out that the boss offered me the job because he believed that I was the right person to do it.

I just needed to believe in myself -- the same way that the boss believed in me.

Yesterday, I got to talk to the boss again. Just as we were about to end the phone call, he began his sentence with "and one more thing". Now, this sent some shivers in my spine because I thought I might have screwed something up or perhaps, he wants me to do another assigned task. But instead, I heard the lines that I never expected.

"You've been doing great (with the job). Things have been better since we started having you around and I thought I had to let you know."

I only manged to utter a surprised "oh" (and with a Filipino accent at that) in disbelief over what I just heard. All I knew was that I was just happily doing my job with a fulfilled heart like how it has been in the past months. I knew it was just a random thought when I said "surprise me". Maybe God was randomly visiting Facebook and chanced upon what I said. We wrapped the conversation and I went back to work gratified. The wonderful feedback did not immediately sink in my head. But when I was already in the comfort of my own home, it was then when I tried to play it again in my head and it is enough to cause those happy tears to escape.

God willing, next month will be a double celebration. I keep praying that this is going to be for the long haul.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It Has Been 10 Years

I was about to hit the sack when I realized about something related to this day. And so, before I went to say my night prayers, I decided going through one of my old journals. From there, I found an entry written on this same day, October 3 in 2007 and found the event.
Today marks the 10th year since my college school mate, C passed away. She was just 20 then and I was only17. She died in a motorcycle accident and her untimely demise was the reason why I had always been scared of riding motorcycles. Yes, I tried back riding with a friend in my sophomore year but together with that experience was the fear and the memory of what happened to her, despite of the fact that I was not there. So I never dared to ride motorcycles again.

But aside from that, if there was one big lesson C's death had thought me, it's about seizing the day. The incident enlightened me when I was going through a hard time discerning whether I should be "more than just a friend" to someone. While it caught me in disbelief and sadness and wondered why C had to die in the verge of youth, it prompted me to recognize that I should not put any day or any opportunity to waste. Such thing caused me to realize that if the inevitable were to happen to a person without me saying or doing what I should say or do, chances are I would be spending my lifetime in regret.

A lot of things had happened within the 10 years. I went to places, graduated, made and screwed up decisions and shifted careers. I did not end up with the person I thought was The One but there is a season for everything. And if there's one lesson I learned to be true out of this ordeal, it would be this:
"Life is about chances and opportunities. We are only given today and never promised with tomorrow."