Wednesday, March 13, 2013

We're on the Same Page, Senator



I was getting my daily dose of news this morning on the web when I chanced upon this article about Senator Koko Pimentel's attempt on working on to save his marriage. While I did not take time in watching the video, I simply went through the transcript of the interview and what I liked most was the part where he reiterated these words:
“This is my latest realization. If we have divorce, definitely I or she would have availed of it. But since we have no divorce, then we let time pass and maybe some wounds have healed and we are still trying. I still don’t have the good news to tell you but the good news is the point of view, the perspective has changed and we are now trying to make the troubled marriage work,”
For me these were wise words from a wise man. Ever since the possibility of having a Divorce Bill in the country made it to the news right after the issue of RH Bill, I was having these fears if ever that happens. I remember a conversation with one of my friends in public service where I somewhat laid my cards about what my view is about divorce. While both of us were pro-RH, we had a different standpoint with regards to divorce -- he's open to the idea of having it and I am against it.

My main reason for being anti-divorce was the same reason as that of the honorable senator. If (divorce) gets to be implemented, couples will have easy access to it even for the silliest reasons. If this will be readily available like your comfort food in the supermarket, people will no longer attempt to work on restoring their marriages. In my currently job as a legal assistant, not a day passes without me having to encounter a couple filing for divorce. Their reasons range from the silliest to the legally acceptable, and it makes me feel sorry at times. I've been raised in a family with parents who are married for 29 years. And while my parents are hinting that they have been waiting for me to tie the knot, given that I am of marrying age, I won't hide that, I also hope to have the same kind of relationship they have when I get hitched. Yes, there are occasional disputes in their married life but I've seen how they both worked on it and restoring their marriage.

Mama always says that you don't need divorce if you are in a happy marriage. And to turn your back and walk separate ways with your partner is not always the best resolve. I agree to that. In my opinion, if ever we do have divorce, the words relationship, marriage and effort will no longer be put to good use so maybe it should be put to rest away from the dictionary (and to our life's vocabulary).

All things require effort. Lahat ng bagay ay nadadaan sa usapan as the group APO Hiking Society's song goes. It is best that people try their best to patch things up amicably because it prevents them from going through a more drastic, more complicated route. After all, an Australian barrister had already said it and it's one of the best lessons I learned so far:

"You take a deep risk by stepping in to the courtroom because somebody else will make a decision about your life."
So why want someone else intervene when you can amicably decide what could work to make your marriage work, right? After all, just like any other relationships, there is no cookie-cutter approach that divorce will work for you the same way that it worked for someone else.


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