Saturday, June 29, 2013

Stop Running Away, And You Will Be Found

For the longest time,  I've discreetly known this place to be cold, dark and silent. You cannot blame me. After all, this silent piece of ground kept some of the loneliest things in my memory. I've watched the rain and greeted the sun from here every single time but there was never a day that I would be reminded how this place was once a steady witness to the words I failed to say, the tears I never thought I'd shed and the desolation I never imagined I would go through.

I've tried ignoring this place hoping to forget that at one point, it witnessed how someone left me (badly) broken, after realizing that sometimes, some things could not be saved, despite every effort. Yes, it welcomed me home daily but to me, it's just that. Plain as it should.

Just nights ago, in the middle of the night, I found myself sitting here, in the darkness of the late evening.As I took delight in the comfort of silence, it made me realize, for long that was how I described this place to be. It may have taken a long while for me to know, but it was now I became aware of something:

That in the place where I once saw myself broken, shall be the same piece of earth where I will find myself whole again.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Hypothetical Puzzle

A month has passed since this note was penned on my schedule. It was one the days I have long waited for and while all my thoughts were about going on a temporary hiatus and isolating myself from the noise and stresses of daily life, it was also in the afternoon on very same date I found an unanswered phone call from you.

Yes, it puzzled me for days as to why you had to do that. I tried to probe for a reply but I only got a vague, one-lined response. Then today, while crossing the street, I unexpectedly recalled our conversation and how you advised me against traveling on my own. I had resolved that you deemed that reason due to my physical detriment. But you said "because a woman like you should not be left alone".  To be honest, I found your reason to be genuine.

At that moment, I wished I could say sorry for I could have worried you with such "selfish dare" of leaving. But what you stated was something I never expected to hear. And when I think of it now, and patch the events from a month ago, I realize those were not a hypothetical thing after all. 

Because this morning, without even trying to figure it out, I now get it.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Not All of Them Are Equal

They're just like rain on a summer day.

Exactly a year ago, I remember having this lengthy conversation with a friend who I got reconnected with after years of not seeing each other (okay, technically, I tend to meet him but during the most unexpected times). It was a lengthy exchange that started from talking about another colleague who, at that time, just got married. After a few more jokes of me, hoping to catch the bouquet and him telling me that I'd be the next to get hitched, I just found myself expressing a somewhat negative response about finding The One. 

Fast forward to a year, I was browsing my timeline and came across this old post. These days, while I try to be politically-correct when I talk to this friend, I admit that I failed to realize something then when I wrote that comment. I generalized. It was now that I found out, it could be true that not all guys really aren't equal. Just weeks ago, when I remembered about this post, a little voice (let's call it CONSCIENCE) was telling me this:

"You kept saying good men (and those hubby-material types) are difficult to encounter, if not non-existent these days. But haven't you thought, who are you talking to and what kind of person he could be? Come to think of it."

Yeah, yeah. I get it. It was like a loud whack on my head. I (over) generalized without even thinking that hey,  the person I was exchanging opinions, for one, with IS A GUY TOO. And given that I've known him for long, he has the right to be an isolated example and be spared from those "rotten" ones. Lesson learned: Sometimes, whenever you insist to stand firm on a certain conviction, God still has His way of telling you, "hey kid, I can prove you're wrong".

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Gratitude in a Box
Photo source
Happiness often come in small packages. 

It's one of those little things I planned to give. In a way, this gift was not out of spontaneity because I had reasons summed up in two words, congratulations and thanks.

And on the very moment you said "I am holding it", I could imagine a kid who has that smile drawn on his lips and has eyes that lit up while opening a gift on Christmas Eve. As for me, I felt like a 28 year-old in a little girl's body wanting to jump up and down in bed -- if only I was not suffering from sleepiness.