Saturday, August 17, 2013

There Will Always Be The Light

I was going through my old journal from 2009 tonight and chanced upon a note I have written with the same date as today.

It was around this month that year when I was diagnosed with glaucoma and had been undergoing treatment since. When I first found out, I was both in shock an disbelief. I have known that ailment to be something "only adults get". When the diagnosis came out, I was just 24. It was like going through a triple whammy of some sorts that year; I've lost a five-year relationship, I was in between jobs and the treatment, though available, was somewhat costly and it will be a lifetime thing.

Added to it was the feeling of being scared and concerned of getting blind at a young age. Yes, even without the doctor telling me then, I knew it's going to be the worst case. It made me cry for some time. I have a lot of things left unaccomplished and plans I wanted to do. If I would be blind, I knew that's going to be the (possible) end.

But when I look at it now, Mama was right. God is still good. He has blessed me with a job that not only allowed me to help my family, but it sufficed my treatment, thus it lessened the burden of having someone else to shoulder it. And my doctor told me not too fear. He assured me that I will not be blind for as long as I adhere to my medication.

Since that day, it has always been my prayer that God would not allow my fear to happen. I have been hoping and praying that God would keep my eyesight fine and working well enough so that I can enjoy my long-awaited trip to Disneyland, clear enough for me to see how happy everyone will be and how dashing my future husband is going to be on our wedding (who, knows, God might just grant that too). But more importantly, I still want to be there well enough to raise my future kids and see them to be the person they're supposed to become.

And in every morning that I am able to see light when I wake up, I continue to be thankful, because it means I am well. I am still okay and God's fulfilling His promise.

No comments: