Monday, September 9, 2013

1 Person, 4 Months, 3 Words

Photo source

I don't know how many times have I heard these lines from someone:

"Love is a wonderful feeling. It should not be put to waste."

I never thought that in the face of grief, love will find a way to shine such a ray of light. At least not until four months ago. In that phone conversation, in between the sound of my sobs, I found the courage to say these words that I don't normally tell people.

HIM: Don't thank me for being by your side at this difficult time. At least not for now. You're in grief            and it's inappropriate to say thank you. (I don't get it but apparently he said it's more of a                    superstition)
ME: You don't want me to thank you? Why? You don't want me to hear say "Thank you". But what             do you want me to tell you? I love you?

Yes, instead of ending it with the usual period, I said it with a question mark. Not declarative but interrogative.  There was split second silence from both of us after I said those words but I was quick abort the topic and divert the conversation.  At one point I felt fine, even relieved that I said something I knew I should not be shy nor afraid about.

And if there were two things I realized about myself, it would be: 1)I love you is a powerful word. Never regret saying it; and 2) I am not much of a coward contrary to what I have always thought myself to be -- at least at  times.

Now, if God would give me another chance to say those words to the same person, I won't hesitate doing it again.

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