People think the writing profession is all about the world of glamour and fame. Actually yes it is somewhat true but then I view it in a different way. In a different analogy.
I never thought of being a teacher since I decided to embrace the writing vocation. I’ve been used to the scribbling life for seven years and teaching was actually another way for me to impart what I’ve learned but what’s greater in my heart is still my passion for creating by writing.
So yesterday night as I ended my last class, a fellow teacher Randy called me up to another co-teacher’s (Teacher Mel’s) cube (which was actually just at the back of my space). Apparently, Randy said they heard me while I was talking to one of my students Dorothy and from that conversation, Mel learned that I was also a writer (I don’t mind anyone hearing my convos of introduction to my students including Mel since I don’t talk to him too much). I don’t know what I am going to feel when he told me through Randy that I have nice credentials to be a teacher—since I was a writer.
Frankly, I felt a bit good after hearing that but I still did not believe it for real for it could just be a form of flattery. What I know is I am a writer. I am supposed to write and not to teach. I don’t need to talk because as a writer, it’s my mind does the talking. Writers teach by writing. It’s actually better since I am able to express my ideas even if I don’t have to talk. Just like a SWAT agent, I could be silent but in my silence I am a sharp shooter in communicating my ideas.
I guess this is the price that I have to pay for being deadma to a co-worker. Seems like I'm being punished for my behavior towards the person in a different way.
Friday night I can vividly remember seeing that coworker in my dream. In that one, I woke up in the morning to see the person in the usual red shirt standing in the dining room. And my behavior was in anyway not different. I still ignored him the same way that I do whenever I would see that person in the office. Yes, that coworker was the reason why I became a mad dasher. Mad dasher because the person makes me run away (though I cannot run) at the sight of that human being. Still, I don't have the enough guts to speak up with that coworker. But I don't feel anything towards him. FYI.
Raining in the afternoon, I arrived so early for work to the surprise of my co-teachers and the headmaster. I actually did not think that I will be early for work today. I left the house at 3:30 in the afternoon to drop by the drug store downtown to buy some sleeping tablets and food to bring to work.
I had another episode of insomnia again last night. I tried sleeping off but my body is acting crazily that I was not able to sleep the whole day and right now as I type this blog, my eyes are starting to get watery and itchy and I'm yawning too.
Add up is my monthly period and these revengeful hormones that actually don't cooperate to my schedule. I went to the restroom a few minutes after dinner to throw up, it's something that happens to me when this time of the month arrives. Sure they are all giving me a hard time that I feel like going home now instead to take the pill, lie down and rest.
While I feel the discomforts of loosing sleep and the effects of my period, I am looking forward to a well-deserved rest. It really is hard to be a woman and I hope this will pass.
And I hope for a restful sleep.
So this is one of the wonders of the Internet. Just yesterday, while browsing on my website, I found one comment in my post about the magazine. To my surprise, it was the publisher of the book that I made a book review last year for T&D Highlights. They chanced upon my blog and they are interested to see the book review that I made about Bob Ong.
I was really shivering upon reading their comment. They chanced upon my blog; people spends a few minutes of their time to read my thoughts. My thoughts makes sense in some ways.
It makes me happy that there are some people who finds my ideas interesting and worthy. I still can't believe that this kind of thing happened. Of course, I am happy teary eyed even knowing that my efforts and hard work in both writing and spilling out my thoughts through blogging is reaping some sweet fruits.
Deep inside, I'm starting to realize that this love for the vocation that I have is one of the sweetest things. I'm so cozy with it and I love it so well.
Just thinking that this could be the start of making it big makes my goosebumps rise and leave me squealing in giddy delight.
From a blog to making it big. I could be the next star! Ha...ha... So how does that sound?
This was supposed to be written yesterday but I was absolutely busy and besides my photographic memory is still vivid to postpone writing for another day.
So this is another dream. Lately, I've been jotting down dreams and slumber-related stuff and hoping to figure out what those things mean. And just a night ago, this one happened.
Stormy days are here again and in my dream, I met my doctor who I saw some six months ago. The dream implied about me getting some vaccines from my doctor. I remember being told about getting two essential vaccines that I need to combat flu and asthma attacks dung the rainy days but up to now, I didn't tried getting one.
And these months have been showing some rainy days and I'm afraid in some ways since the rainy days is one of my enemies.
My brother's friend Donn got married to his girl Mayette last Saturday. The groom's just the same age as my brother yet there are times that I still find it disappointing to hear people getting married at a young age. That those young people should finish their school obligations first before tying the knot. I don't know but I can't say I am used to hear things like that. Even if it my own family, some of my cousins decided to marry at a young age currently, the only unattached member of the family is just me and my brother, I still find it difficult to believe that the ones who were playing bahay-bahayan back then are now about to begin the game for real.
This morning, my brother being their wedding photographer gave me a copy of the wedding give away which was a CD compilation. And listening to the CD, I found this song of Steven Curtis Chapman nice and I consider fit for the young newlyweds.
I'll Take Care of You Steven Curtis Chapman
I'll take care of you Don't be sad, don't be blue I'll never break your heart in two I'll take care of you I'll kiss your tears away I'll end your lonely days All that I'm really tryin' to say Is I'll take care of you
I want you to know that I love you so I'm proud to tell the world you're mine I said it before, I'll say it once more You'll be in my heart 'til the end of time
I'll take care of you Don't be sad, don't be blue Just count on me your whole life through'Cause I'll take care of you
Getting married meant starting a new life not as two other individuals but as one. Not as I but as WE. Not as he or she but us; not as mine but as ours. And like other newly wed couples, I wish them a blissful married life.
I am blogging in my cube waiting for the 6:30 pm slot to begin my first class.My student for 6pm has been on hold for a week and I suppose he will have a new teacher by the time he returns to study.
I'm munching on Kettle Korn popcorn while writing this blog hoping to ease my nauseous state. It's so hard every time this "time of the month" arrives. And I am often in agony after (I suppose it's not appropriate to call it PMS since mine comes after.
And last night, for the longest time, I found myself on a crying spell at 2am. For the longest time after such things like my break up, Ariel's sudden departure from the organization and hearing nasty comments thrown against me by my shitty officemates, I tried to hold back my tears and stand strong-- for as long as I could.
But I guess, I had enough and I found myself needing to have a good cry. Yeah it was hard to keep things when I could no longer hold it inside. And few times before, I found myself texting my ex bf the words HELP ME! I don't know but in my head, I know I needed someone to talk to and also I wanted to know the real score between us. After all, we never broke up formally thus I wanted to set things straight; even though my mind is completely in a shaken state.
I hope I could pass through all these in time.
I'm a 30-something Millennial Tita from the Art Capital of the Philippines and I express what's on my mind (may it be a good experience or otherwise) through writing. Feel free to explore the fragments of my mind which you can find in this blog.
Oh and forget the formalities. You can call me Glaiza!
