I was not keen on writing this blog post at first as I do not feel that giving out hacks and advice related to topics such as fashion or beauty is my cup of tea. But a recent conversation with my college best friend Apple caused a #LightbulbMoment in my head. In the middle of my conversation with her, she mentioned a question I never expected to hear from my 13-year-old godson, Ace. 

"Bakit parang hindi tumatanda si Ninang?"

True to her funny Mourning Bolera moniker, Apple provided all sorts of candid responses. From saying it's because I don't have a husband and kids who would annoy me daily (which might be among the reasons!) to telling Ace that I bathe in blood the way Elizabeth Báthory did (seriously, she said that to her son!). But that question of Ace left me chuckling. 

As of this writing, I am about three and a half years shy of hitting 40. So it surprised me to find out that my inaanak has such inquiry. The truth is, I started having that "I'm already old" mindset more than a decade ago. Yup. I started thinking that I'm already old when I was just 25.

To be fair to my inaanak, I don't have those "celebrity secrets" that other people follow. Nor do I stock up water from the mythical "fountain of youth". Instead, I live on the usual life hacks that others tend to follow and this post lists a few of those.

First and foremost, I indulge in sleep! I am more of a sleep person than a foodie. And if there's a blessing I see out of the ongoing pandemic, it's that I was able to get the healthy amount of sleep that I need each night unlike a year ago when I do my daily activities running on four to five hours of shut-eye every night. 

I have a love-hate relationship with the sun. Basking in sunlight has both good and bad repercussions. But I try to balance both. According to a book I read last year, one rule to follow is "the longer your shadow, the longer you can stay under the sun. When I can wake up early (because I do some of my tasks at night), I try to stand under the sun for 10-15 minutes. And when there's the need to leave the house at a time when the sun is the harshest, I utilize two things: a bit of sunscreen and my trusty umbrella. 

A healthy diet helps. Aside from getting the right amount of sleep, another lockdown lesson I learned was observing healthy eating habits. Unlike that time when I worked in an office where takeout food was part of the daily grind, the lockdown and its restrictions that limit the urge to go out and grab oily fast food staples in some ways, did me something good because not just it disconnects me from the sinful stuff, I got to really appreciate and enjoy home cooked meals as well. but since I'm also an ordinary human being, I also give in to cheat day cravings once in a while -- but still at a minimum. 

A little skincare routine won't hurt. While I am a sucker of Korean dramas and can watch lengthy episodes, I, unfortunately, don't have the patience of a saint to stick to the kind of skincare routines that Koreans do (12 steps yun guys!). So I try to keep it simple and just use three things: cleanser, toner, and night cream. And no matter how late it is, I don't sleep with makeup on, or without washing my face before going to bed. Nothing is more annoying than waking up with that sticky feeling on your face from the grime and makeup left the night before.

Move it. Sadly, this is the downside that the pandemic inflicted on me because unlike when I was employed where I get to do repeated walkathons every day, exercise got shelved from my routine. But thanks to one of my favorite bloggers, Mommy Fleur, I discovered fitness hacks from Emi Wong and had started on some of the routines. And since I have a morning playlist on Spotify dedicated to dance music, I get to use that too -- yup! I dance either in the comfort of my bedroom or in the kitchen while preparing my breakfast! 

Drink like a fish...but in moderation!  And by drink, I am referring to water. When I got sick around two months ago, next to being prescribed antibiotics, one of the advice my doctor gave me was to drink lots of water. And more than just preventing dehydration and heat stroke (especially now that it's summer), keeping myself hydrated does a few good things to my skin too!

Give in to what (you) enjoy. May it be getting your hands dirty in your chosen hobby, reading a favorite book over and over again or ogling over that Kdrama oppa -- from the likes of Hyun Bin, Lee Min-ho, or in my case, Ji Chang-wook(!), surrendering to life's little pleasures is important to our happiness. And like what other people would say when you are happy, it radiates to your whole being -- that youthful look is just a cherry on the cake.

The company you keep also contributes to it. It might be a cliché, but it still holds to be true. You're only as good as the company you keep. Being with the type of people whose wavelength matches yours does matter. I'm fortunate to have made friends with like-minded people (two of them are authors!) who I get to talk to about many things (yes, we talk about anything and EVERYTHING under the sun!). And with regards to this, I realized that my mind can keep up with their minds and their thoughts. I even have a friend who I thought was just a few years ahead of me (by age) only to be surprised by the revelation that he's a few years shy of hitting 50. Proof that meeting of minds isn't limited to those within the same age brackets. Appreciate meaningful conversations with friends because somehow, their views and opinions shape up and contribute to your view of the world. And with the ongoing struggle, we are in, having friends on standby for a quick chat or video call just to talk to or crack jokes with can somehow ease the emotional burden we all are going through.  

So there it is. Not big-time secrets of the rich and famous, right? I only incorporate things that can even be done at home. While youth is the gift of nature, age on the other hand is a work of art. It's just a matter of how I embrace it -- and just like what I learned in the book, Confessions of an Impatient Bride years ago, you just have to love yourself -- warts, moles, gray hair, and all. And whatever you don't love, if you've got the money, you can just go see a derma like Vicky Belo to fix it :-) Makes sense, right?

Maybe, I was just that bored too because I also didn’t have any design in mind when I began my work. It was even a simple design. Too ordinary, unlike the ones done by those who are really passionate about visual arts. When I finished the thing after three days, I must admit feeling a bit dissatisfied because I forgot the element of balance in my own work (I missed the rule that there has to be an equal mix of dark and light colors!). But then, while I was reading through my bucket list and reached item 74, I realized, I was able to finish one artwork. Which makes it the fruition of this particular thing on my “to do” list.

While my work may not be as avant-garde as the ones made by renowned artists, the words of my friend Beth echo in my brain: Art is art. You can call it yours. I thought it’s fine if visual art isn’t in love with me. I found love in another form of art which is literature and creative writing anyway. We’re head over heels in love with each other and I'm so much fine (and still happy) with that.   

(Photo: Unsplash.com)

Now, there are two questions I want to ask you. Kamusta ka? Kaya pa ba?

As I type this down, a part of me thinks of the idea of congratulating myself because I was able to stay afloat and still (mentally) stable in this admittedly crazy situation for that long. Let’s all admit it, to be advised to stay home for a day is just pretty normal (though it could be inconvenient at times too), but to be told such rule for more than a year can be somewhat insane.  

To live like a hermit for a year and miss the totally different kind of life from the previous years can somewhat be stressful. It took me a year into this lockdown before things started to sink-in. I remember telling my mom a month ago that it is now when I am already starting to feel anxious, worried and exhausted at times. This kind of lockdown lifestyle was very far from the “on the go” type of life that I was so used to before pandemic shot things down to the ground.

And I guess that admission of my fear, and being vocal about my feelings related to this ongoing struggle somehow helped ease things up. While I was browsing the Messenger app on my phone, I came across the discovery that I was in touch with just one person within the past year just as the lockdown was announced. Going through our lengthy conversations, part of me was in disbelief-- because we were able to literally be in constant communication while the chaos brought by COVID19 was trying to inflict damage to the world. For more than a year.

In Episode 2 of the Youtube Channel Brgy. AAssumtion, it tackled the possibilities that may be brought by the “new normal” including measures we that we might all be doing in order to protect ourselves and those around us. That while there is a chance that we will no longer be able to return to the old normal, it stressed that isolation should not be the new way of life in the new normal because this is not the essence and definition of what communities and families really are.

The relatable part of the episode came when it mentioned the importance of reaching out. How a simple text, chat or phone call to ask “how are you?” can mean a lot to someone who might be needing it.  You see, as of this writing, I have two friends trying to conquer this COVID-19 struggle. One tested positive and is spending his treatment and recovery period alone in a hospital room, and the other one, while blessed to be spared from the physical malady, is isolated in her own bedroom away from some of the members of her family. And since this health crisis prohibits visiting them and being with them physically, my days now included daily chat messages of “how are you?” and “how are you feeling?” alongside a host of different stories. It made me realize that despite this tough time, we are still lucky to be provided with different and modern means to still let our presence felt by someone who needs our company, and this is the appropriate time to really utilize that. 

Just like actions, words have the power to heal as well. Next to providing some level of comfort and emotional support to friends dealing a difficult situation, the conversations I had with three particular friends also eased the worry and anxiety that I am occasionally feeling. Those chats enabled me to realize a few of my plans (and in a way, get to act on some of them), trade thoughts with them about life and future plans, and even talk about a few crazy things that made me teary-eyed in laughter. That while reaching out may be a usual gesture, it seemed to be a win-win situation as I am able to alleviate their loneliness and they on the other hand, get to let me use God’s gift of imagination in just the right proportion by keeping my worrywart side from consuming me and bothering me too much.

We all have our coping mechanisms in fighting this struggle may it be time, talent or even words. We just need to find what works best for us, utilize it and maintain it. Yes, a pandemic like COVID19 sure is scary. But we must also realize that this should not stop and shut us entirely from people around us just because of (useless) fear. That unless you’re a hermit crab, you still need to interact with those around you (but be sure to be mindful of the safety measures, okay?). You’re human after all. And interaction is a big part of human existence. If you believe hearing your voice works wonders to your favorite plant or pet, imagine what kind of wonder it can do with a person who’s longing to hear from you.  

(Photo)

Since being diagnosed with glaucoma 12 years ago, I've been so used to making twice-a-year advance appointments with my current doctor. Yesterday was my first appointment for this year, and technically the second one during the challenging time of a pandemic.

Compared to the neurological condition that I acquired some 25 years ago, glaucoma is an ailment that is not visible from the outside. But routine consults with a specialist is a must since its signs and symptoms can lead to irreversible repercussions if neglected. I can't frankly say my being a wide-reader was put to good use on this particular scenario, because when I first heard the diagnosis when I was 24, I won't hide the truth that it scared the shit out of me. My mom knew how loud and hard I cried because I already knew what kind of "inevitable result" is in store for me because of this disease. 

At first, there was denial since the disease mostly affects the geriatric population (as in those above the age of 60!) and I was way far from hitting that age. And as if that was enough, I was told all the other ugly truths: the disease cannot be cured, it can only be managed and controlled to delay the prognosis and try to prevent the inevitable effect from happening this early. Hearing the fact that the disease is manageable allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief, at least. But the next words from my doctor were enough to burst my relieved bubble in an instant:

"That would mean you will need to be on lifetime maintenance medication."

And so the whole shitty scenario began. Aside from an illness that seemed to have arrived at a very unreasonable time, I was also battling some personal and career-related issues. But I was definite at one thing: to save whatever is left of one of my five senses for as long as I could. 

After being with three different doctors and being prescribed three different medications, I crossed paths with my current doctor in 2013. I guess deciding to find another doctor was one of the wisest decisions I made that year. During my first consultation with Dr. Norman Aquino seven years ago, he was able to shed some light on my condition, and was able to clearly explain the disease that I am battling. From its causes, as well as the treatment available, and how my condition can be managed. He further assured me that with proper management and medication, I need not cry that hard like the first time out of fear from the ailment's inevitable effect -- that one of my five senses will cease to exist.

"As long as you are taking your medication regularly, malabong mangyari ang kinakatakot mo." were his exact words. And during yesterday's appointment, Dr. Aquino explained that these measures that we are doing are to make sure that the disease is managed and controlled in a way that it will be far from progressing rapidly. He further told me, "36 ka pa lang. You still have a life ahead of you. I want you to have that quality of life well until your 80's."

I know not all doctors can be like that. And to encounter a specialist like him somehow put a few of my worries to rest. But there was another question that I've always wondered about. Given that the disease will be something that I have to live with for a lifetime, I want to know if it will affect my future plans. You see, I still have a lot of items left unticked on my bucket list. It was a question I asked my previous doctor five years ago to which I received an expectedly heart-crushing reply. The night before my appointment, the said question got rehashed in my head. But it also got me thinking, "We tend to get a second (even third) opinion from doctors about diseases, right?" Next to wanting some peace of mind, I thought I guess it won't hurt if I ask my doctor for his two cents worth whether my condition (and our current approach to the situation) can have unfavorable effects on my other plans. 

Despite mustering the courage, I was already expecting a "part two" of the previous scenario. But I want to say that yesterday's appointment is among those that's one for the books. Next to hearing a favorable response, Dr. Aquino also advised me of measures that I will possibly need to do should I decide to pursue those items on my list. Unlike the previous scene when I was just told "no, that is not possible" and was not even provided with further explanations as to why -- or if there can be options that can somehow make things a bit attainable.

(Photo)

It has been more than a year since this COVID-19 pandemic turned everyone’s life around. If you are a reader who happens to be from the Philippines, you are surely well-aware that we have been dealing with this lockdown situation for 394 days. 

A year and 29 days of living an unexpectedly overturned life.

Despite trying to adjust to the situation and embrace the so-called “new normal” routine, I will not hide it, I do miss a few things from my old life. This year would have marked as my 109th month in my career as a legal administrative assistant if the pandemic and lockdown did not happen. And yes, there would be times when such longing would hit me -- hard. Especially whenever I would come across those Facebook “On This Day” photos from years back, or even current photos of former colleagues in places we often frequent would appear on Instagram.

It has been a “sa throwback na lang muna ang lahat” kind of life for more than a year now. And while I have somehow adapted to a rather different life because of the pandemic, I admit that there are times when I still long for this:

The Routines- I must say that the lockdown changed some of my routines, but there also are some that remained the same. For one, I miss those early-morning arrivals at work. Being the team’s early bird at times earned me the silly title of “Diwatang Ilaw” (or the Light Fairy), coined by our accountant, Lyn simply because switching the lights on is my first order of business when I arrive every morning. Another thing that I miss from my old life was this habit of consuming iced coffee every morning (and that’s despite the 18-degree temperature inside the office) which drives one of my officemates worried. But the longing part though is just partial, since I still embraced that iced coffee habit despite being locked at home the past year.

People- Given that I have worked in different offices and accomplished a number of different job titles in the last 14 years, I’ve also come across people with different types of personalities. Some of them I was able to build a positive rapport with, but there are also some that ended up the other way around. But for the last 8 years, this bunch was among the ones that I consider to be a group that I enjoyed being with. My former team in the firm was a group where you can find a good mix of interesting personalities. From a hands-on boss (who acts like everyone’s father at times),  a comedian, a cat dad, a math whiz who, despite being tone-deaf, says with conviction that she’s a songbird, to a living, breathing version of  the character Miss Minchin  from the book “A Little Princess”, my former workmates and our day-to-day antics and misadventures were among those that somehow “saved” my sanity especially on days when workdays tend to be at its harshest. 

The Shindig. Next to having found a job that allowed me to work in a location I highly preferred and with an ideal work schedule, the opportunity to be part of a group with creative minds was one of the things that I am grateful for. While the last eight years I spent with this team was not all about sunny days, their creativity in coming up and conceptualizing fun activities to compensate the busy and sometimes difficult schedules made my work days a thing worth reminiscing especially in this tough period. That despite going through this difficult time, I have something to look back to and say "we were this happy once" -- and there is a chance that we will, in time, get to be this exuberant again. 

My former boss once sent me an email with a subject that's so appropriate with today's situation: Brand new year, same old shit. And while I have a few things from my old life that I still yearn for, I am still hopeful that one day will come and things, while may not be the same anymore, will come out better that what and how it once was. 

It’s somewhat a relief knowing that my late father’s hometown is a COVID-free municipality. However, this was not a reason for us to be complacent so we still abide by the usual health and safety protocols. I may not be wearing my face mask in the photos but those were just for a few seconds, and as soon as we’re done, I still wore my mask back on. The last time I was here was almost three years ago. I must admit that visiting relatives here was somewhat bittersweet as this reminded me of the last trip I had with Papa. However, I thought that joining relatives on this trip after a stressful year of dealing with the lockdowns and quarantine would somehow be helpful. And probably, it indeed was.

Another thing that made me appreciate this trip is because it gave me a chance to redeem myself from all those “health mistakes” that I have been committing against my own body. Life in the province made me realize how “sinful” I have been for the past year of being in quarantine. And I loved how, even for just four days, I was able to redeem myself given the kind of life I had while I was on vacation. Being in a place far from access to junk food and soda allowed me to commit to healthy eating habits. The absence of the usual modes of transportation got me to move more (as in unlimited walkathon!). My usual morning allergies went on break too because I get to breathe fresh, unpolluted air which is very much different from how it is back home. And because I didn’t bring my laptop and hard drive to this trip, I got to take a break from those late-night Kdrama marathons which meant crawling beneath the sheets early! And by early, it meant lights are already out by 8:30 pm. A thing that is very much different from my 2 am sleeping habit when I am home.