Due to some events happening in the past month, I failed to write the traditional birthday post on this blog as I have always done in recent years.

We just had a simple celebration at home. Just a few days ago, I remember watching an Instagram reel from one of the content creators that I currently follow, Macoy Dubs about the reality of getting older, and some of the things he stated in that video apply to me at the moment.

There was nothing much with how I celebrated this year as I preferred it to be observed in simplicity and silence. I guess it's one of the things getting old has inflicted me with. Ayoko na ng masyadong magulo, matao at maingay. I am at this point in life where things related to midlife (and maybe soon, old age) are starting to wave at me, from maintenance meds to those aches and pains.

I really can't remember the last time I did a "ramen with the girls" type of bonding session.

As I type this post, the lines "you win some, you lose some is running in my head. Despite some positive developments happening in my career the past few weeks, I must admit that I am also going through a rough patch on the personal side of things.

And I won't deny that it's hard -- or should I say, exhausting. 

But if there's something that's somehow keeping my sanity intact aside from holding myself in the four corners of my personal space, and writing my thoughts down, it is the presence of friends who came to my aid when I was discreetly screaming for help. 

Kim, Beth and I formed an unexpected friendship because of Wattpad and our love for writing. But they are among the few friends that I have who I can compare to Santa's Little Helpers. While we don't get to see each other as often as we wanted, I believe we have each other's backs especially on a number of things. Their presence have been really helpful for me for a number of times, especially when situations are hard and exhausting for me.

I want to believe that writers are not just good at telling stories. Having writers as trusted friends, I can attest that they are also great listeners -- something which became helpful for me especially with what I am going through in the last few days. I don't mind if my set of friends is starting to shrink together with my age, because after all, in that small circle are the genuine and trusted ones. As one becomes older, the infamous line "quality over quantity" becomes a line to live by. When I told them the situation I am in, I was already fine with communicating with them virtually. But what made a part of me melt was when they both messaged me on our group chat asking if I can wait for them at the mall where I was so the they can keep me company as I talk (or should I say vent) it out while we bond over coffee. 

What they did reminds me of a line I once heard from a stranger: When someone is important to you, you don't find time. You make time. 

While we were together for just two and a half-hours, it was a meaningful bonding session as we did a lot of "Tita things"; from chatting over coffee, trying out ramen, grocery shopping to celebrating the upcoming development in my worklife which took the backseat for almost three years. While we started out unconventionally, they've been with me in both the fun times and the tough ones. Their presence, even for more than a couple of hours allowed me to escape the toxic situation at home that has been drowning me for days now. I do hope that in time, I can make it up to them and I get do the same gestures that they did for me when I was dealing with my own struggles. 

Today marks the last day of October. I am rushing to type this entry just before this month comes to a close, because this month, our family marked a milestone that is worth celebrating: the wedding of Jay Ar and April. 

This wedding took two years in the making. They have been planning to tie the knot since 2020 but then the COVID-19 pandemic placed those plans aside. Fast forward to two years, they finally made it happen. 

Their wedding was held last October 20 at Christ the King Parish in Taytay, Rizal. This occasion served as a breath of fresh air to our family, because having gone through difficult, painful and gloomy moments with the unexpected demise of some family members in the last few years, this event gave us a reason to really celebrate! Jay Ar and April's wedding saw a happy reunion between our relatives, and longtime friends. I've known Jay Ar's friends and classmates since they were young and it's great to see the same bond as they take part as my brother's groomsmen and best man. Family members  from overseas flew home and those in the province also made time to be part of this occasion. Tito Buboy, my Mama's youngest sibling even took the role of walking with Jay Ar down the aisle as Papa's proxy -- because if you've been reading my blog, you'll know that our Papa already left for Paradise almost four years ago.

The rain outdoors tonight is so inviting. I thought of finally catching up with a few updates because I realized two things just now: One is that September only has some days left before coming to a close, and two is that I have been silent and away from this safe space for almost a month now.

Well, aside from an anticipated wedding happening in a month, .a lot of things and concerns have been running in my head lately. And as much as I hate to admit, I felt lazy to write any "proof of life post" because of it and rather preferred resorting to silence and temporarily leaving a few things undone. 

Despite being unseen on this blog, I want to think my social life is still existent. A day after this "ber" month began, one of my friends, Jonathan celebrated a life milestone: His 40th birthday. The last time we had this outdoor birthday celebration was back in 2018, and now that some restrictions are easing, I opted to bring them to Hiraya Restaurant which has been a frequent hangout place that I love to visit since discovering it through my friends, Kim and Beth.

While I've known Jonathan since I was 19, I  wasn't sure when this group celebration for his birthday really started. But it has become a tradition. This was our post dinner mandatory birthday photo while waiting for the coffee that we ordered from Trabi Cafe. We really made the most of this celebration because while the three of us were able to meet up for his birthday last year, it was just a simple gesture of visiting me at home because they were newly-vaccinated. Nothing grand, so this time we decided to somehow make up for what we were unable to do in 2021. 

Art exhibits are among that events that I've been visiting lately. This is one of the two art-related events I attended this months just days after Jonathan's birthday. Art to the Max not only served a chance for me to reunite with one of my former professors, Ma'am Maureen Piñon. The said event also presents artworks of talented Fine Arts students from my alma mater.

Speaking of Fine Arts students, the other reason I decided to drop by the said exhibit was to support two of its participants, Ronald Solomon and Jed Rodriguez. I have known both Ronald and Jed through my former publication adviser, Ma'am Cez Villegas from last year when I needed someone to do the artwork for the project that I was doing. Having seen their artworks (and even owning one done by Jed), I can attest how gifted these two really are.