January 2014- First time to be back in Rizal Park after 22 years!

As I type this entry, it's already Father's Day morning. While my Facebook news feed is starting to be filled with posts and greetings related to an occasion intended to honor dads, I decided to do my own version on this blog instead.

This post was born out of a light bulb moment I had days ago. While I was also aware that Father's Day was fast approaching, it's an undeniable fact that the person I would love to commemorate is no longer around physically. So as my way of remembering the person who has always been a fan of what I do in writing, I decided to use it by putting together some of the life lessons that he told me back then. I am not sure if he told me a lot of those because my Papa was mostly the "reserved person" that he is, but I'm able to recall at least a few which I deem to have made an impact on me on a lot of different things.

On surrendering on things you no longer have any control:

"Hindi naman masamang umayaw sa mga bagay na di mo naman kontrolado. Walang batas sa mundo na nagsasabi na bawal ang magsabi ng "hindi" o "ayoko na" kung nagawa mo na ang lahat o kung hindi mo na talaga kaya." 

This was one of the earliest pieces of advice I heard from Papa when I was still fresh out of college. At that time, I was having second thoughts about whether to stay or leave my first job as an editorial assistant in a prestigious university. Part of me really wanted to leave because the stress and strain were already putting a toll on me both physically and emotionally, but I was hesitant of doing so simply because I was afraid to disappoint my parents. But this advice from him became one of my compasses when it concerns putting the right balance between work and well-being. It's okay to give it a shot and live one day at a time. But if you're already becoming jeopardized after giving the best that you can, you simply have to let go and move forward. Life will still offer you a thousand opportunities and chances and you can still be able to pick another one that you think will work best.

On humanity and compassion:  

"If you want to know someone's personality, try observing the way they treat animals. For the amount of compassion that they give to an animal will be the same amount of compassion that they will give to people."

Next to plants, Papa has always been fond of animals. I grew up in a house that has dogs, cats, even 16 pairs of lovebirds as pets. And never did I saw Papa show violence against those creatures. He treats pets as part of the family as if they are people. Funny but whenever neighbors would tell us to adopt their pets, he would reply in jest that those puppies and kittens will just end up becoming my playmates -- or worst, I'd say his "original bunso"! But I guess there's truth in this advice in some way because even if some people often describe my father as someone who is reserved and quiet, I have also witnessed how he is like in the company of other people -- and how he treated them. Someone unselfish, considerate and kind. Seeing how my father was as a "pet parent" left me with an imprint as to how one's treatment of animals reflects the way one will possibly treat other people. 

On taking care of your own belongings:

"If you look after your car well and with care, it will return the favor and serve you well in the long run too."

Papa has a knack for cars. I never dared and learned how to use Waze because I still find my father's instructions more reliable whenever I have to go somewhere. While I never learned driving skills, he would be the one who would drive me to appointments or even work sometimes. And one of his pet peeves would be a poorly maintained car. I wouldn't dare contradict Papa when he said this advice because he knows a lot about fixing a car and keeping it in tip-top shape. And indeed, Love begets love applies -- not even to people or relationships but even with one's prized possessions.  

On heroism and what it means to be a hero;

"Hindi inililibing nang patago at tahimik ang totoong bayani ."

Regardless of other people's impression, one thing I loved about Papa is that he knows how to be so spot-on with his opinion. Yes, he may not be the kind that talks a lot when asked a question, but when he speaks his mind, Papa gets to really articulate them well. Years ago, at the height of a controversy over a "hero's burial" bestowed upon someone that a lot of people see as undeserving, Papa let out those words without warning. And even if I laughed at first upon hearing those words, I was left really surprised because indeed, what he said absolutely made sense.

On choosing and voting for the right politician:

"Piliin mo yung kandidato na maninindigan at ipinaglalaban kung ano ang tama. Kahit pa maliit ang posibilidad nilang manalo, doon ka pa rin tumaya. Yun ang iboto mo."

Aside from boxing and basketball, thoughts about politics are something that Papa has always been very vocal about. It's not that he doesn't mince his words, but when he voices out his opinions on issues involving certain situations or even politicians, sugarcoating is never an option. His viewpoint has always been spot-on and straightforward. When he gave me that advice almost three years ago, he was sick, the election was just a few months away and I was, at the same time, seeing someone whose job was also related to politics. And while I was hesitant to ask for advice (and tell him that the person I was seeing then was running for office), I guess it was his paternal instinct that prompted him to say those words; because when I expressed my apprehensions after being asked who I'll be voting for, those quick-witted words were what he told me. I guess I made the right decision to have posted those words on the day that he said it. For it's one of those words of his that I don't wish to forget. 

I won't be ashamed to admit that I still miss Papa even if it has been almost three years since he passed on. He could have given me a lot of that intelligent advice today specially that I have been at home for more than a year. It makes me think that we could have used the whole 365 days by having more conversations about a lot of things but then, that one is no longer possible at least for now. But at least, he left me with a few of those wonderful pieces of advice which I got to write about today. I just hope that maybe, in the future, God can eventually let me meet someone as kind, articulate and prudent like my father -- the kind of person who I would enjoy exchanging thoughts and conversations with, and could possibly add more to this list of "favorite life lessons" that he was able to leave me with.