I was supposed to write this post last year as part of my 2019's highlights. But just like the previous instances, this blog was left neglected due to a number of things that kept me occupied. Most of which are work-related.
One of the things that made my 2019 was the release of this book, After Breakup by my friend, Lee Miyaki. I'd like to say that I am an accessory to the crime in this work that took years to happen. This started originally as a requirement for a subject in her master's degree in Creative Writing. I could still remember when she sent me a message asking me if I can narrate to her the time my ex and I broke up.
At the back of my head, it was a fight between wanting to help her pass the subject or declining to reply to the question. While everyone on earth have gone through a breakup, we just have to admit that it's a painful part and no one wants to go through it (not even try recalling it), right? But in the end, the inclination to help Lee prevailed and so, the somewhat painstaking journey began.
It meant reading through these journals and making a rundown of what transpired. That even if our breakup happened six years ago (at the time the project was being planned), I must admit going back felt like having some flesh wound of some sorts to recur. It gave me some weird palpitations as I read through each of those pages just to recall how and why it had to happen.
But it's not all those heart-wrenching emotions. There were also times I felt giddy over going through the draft manuscript and proofreading it. There areas some parts and scenes in the book that I enjoyed and was happy about. I even told Lee later on that the character of Gian resembled to that of one of my long-time friends. Yes, there were times I would get teary-eyed while editing some chapters, but what made me appreciate the whole thing was the realization of who I was back then and what I could still become now. Next to sharing a sad part of my past, this book lead me to realizations about the things I always wanted to do and the places I wanted to go (as well as the people I wish would join me in those places).
But I guess, if there's one great thing that accepting this project gave me, it was the gift of healing. As of this writing, I've been estranged to the ex for 11 years. And while I just wanted to help Lee achieve her aim (of completing her course requirements), it paved a way for me to a path towards healing from that painful past. And it's now I realize that some things really don't happen for nothing. I've always said that my life isn't something that's "one for the books". But then some unpleasant things need to happen just so the most wonderful ones occur. Yes, that breakup that happened to me on this day 11 years ago would leave a scar. But it's a battle scar that will enable me to somehow say that I would still be fine having it. For without that emotional scar, this book won't happen and will not be here today. This book is a wonderful proof that God can write straight out of my once crooked, broken lines--that does not just comforts one person but other people as well.
