I guess this is the price that I have to pay for being deadma to a co-worker. Seems like I'm being punished for my behavior towards the person in a different way.
Friday night I can vividly remember seeing that coworker in my dream. In that one, I woke up in the morning to see the person in the usual red shirt standing in the dining room. And my behavior was in anyway not different. I still ignored him the same way that I do whenever I would see that person in the office. Yes, that coworker was the reason why I became a mad dasher. Mad dasher because the person makes me run away (though I cannot run) at the sight of that human being. Still, I don't have the enough guts to speak up with that coworker. But I don't feel anything towards him. FYI.
Raining in the afternoon, I arrived so early for work to the surprise of my co-teachers and the headmaster. I actually did not think that I will be early for work today. I left the house at 3:30 in the afternoon to drop by the drug store downtown to buy some sleeping tablets and food to bring to work.
I had another episode of insomnia again last night. I tried sleeping off but my body is acting crazily that I was not able to sleep the whole day and right now as I type this blog, my eyes are starting to get watery and itchy and I'm yawning too.
Add up is my monthly period and these revengeful hormones that actually don't cooperate to my schedule. I went to the restroom a few minutes after dinner to throw up, it's something that happens to me when this time of the month arrives. Sure they are all giving me a hard time that I feel like going home now instead to take the pill, lie down and rest.
While I feel the discomforts of loosing sleep and the effects of my period, I am looking forward to a well-deserved rest. It really is hard to be a woman and I hope this will pass.
And I hope for a restful sleep.
So this is one of the wonders of the Internet. Just yesterday, while browsing on my website, I found one comment in my post about the magazine. To my surprise, it was the publisher of the book that I made a book review last year for T&D Highlights. They chanced upon my blog and they are interested to see the book review that I made about Bob Ong.
I was really shivering upon reading their comment. They chanced upon my blog; people spends a few minutes of their time to read my thoughts. My thoughts makes sense in some ways.
It makes me happy that there are some people who finds my ideas interesting and worthy. I still can't believe that this kind of thing happened. Of course, I am happy teary eyed even knowing that my efforts and hard work in both writing and spilling out my thoughts through blogging is reaping some sweet fruits.
Deep inside, I'm starting to realize that this love for the vocation that I have is one of the sweetest things. I'm so cozy with it and I love it so well.
Just thinking that this could be the start of making it big makes my goosebumps rise and leave me squealing in giddy delight.
From a blog to making it big. I could be the next star! Ha...ha... So how does that sound?
This was supposed to be written yesterday but I was absolutely busy and besides my photographic memory is still vivid to postpone writing for another day.
So this is another dream. Lately, I've been jotting down dreams and slumber-related stuff and hoping to figure out what those things mean. And just a night ago, this one happened.
Stormy days are here again and in my dream, I met my doctor who I saw some six months ago. The dream implied about me getting some vaccines from my doctor. I remember being told about getting two essential vaccines that I need to combat flu and asthma attacks dung the rainy days but up to now, I didn't tried getting one.
And these months have been showing some rainy days and I'm afraid in some ways since the rainy days is one of my enemies.
My brother's friend Donn got married to his girl Mayette last Saturday. The groom's just the same age as my brother yet there are times that I still find it disappointing to hear people getting married at a young age. That those young people should finish their school obligations first before tying the knot. I don't know but I can't say I am used to hear things like that. Even if it my own family, some of my cousins decided to marry at a young age currently, the only unattached member of the family is just me and my brother, I still find it difficult to believe that the ones who were playing bahay-bahayan back then are now about to begin the game for real.
This morning, my brother being their wedding photographer gave me a copy of the wedding give away which was a CD compilation. And listening to the CD, I found this song of Steven Curtis Chapman nice and I consider fit for the young newlyweds.
I'll Take Care of You Steven Curtis Chapman
I'll take care of you Don't be sad, don't be blue I'll never break your heart in two I'll take care of you I'll kiss your tears away I'll end your lonely days All that I'm really tryin' to say Is I'll take care of you
I want you to know that I love you so I'm proud to tell the world you're mine I said it before, I'll say it once more You'll be in my heart 'til the end of time
I'll take care of you Don't be sad, don't be blue Just count on me your whole life through'Cause I'll take care of you
Getting married meant starting a new life not as two other individuals but as one. Not as I but as WE. Not as he or she but us; not as mine but as ours. And like other newly wed couples, I wish them a blissful married life.
I am blogging in my cube waiting for the 6:30 pm slot to begin my first class.My student for 6pm has been on hold for a week and I suppose he will have a new teacher by the time he returns to study.
I'm munching on Kettle Korn popcorn while writing this blog hoping to ease my nauseous state. It's so hard every time this "time of the month" arrives. And I am often in agony after (I suppose it's not appropriate to call it PMS since mine comes after.
And last night, for the longest time, I found myself on a crying spell at 2am. For the longest time after such things like my break up, Ariel's sudden departure from the organization and hearing nasty comments thrown against me by my shitty officemates, I tried to hold back my tears and stand strong-- for as long as I could.
But I guess, I had enough and I found myself needing to have a good cry. Yeah it was hard to keep things when I could no longer hold it inside. And few times before, I found myself texting my ex bf the words HELP ME! I don't know but in my head, I know I needed someone to talk to and also I wanted to know the real score between us. After all, we never broke up formally thus I wanted to set things straight; even though my mind is completely in a shaken state.
I hope I could pass through all these in time.
The past week was filled with shocking events. Despite of having a long weekend, I suppose, it was destined to happen in order for me to know some things when I just wasn't expecting to hear them.
Monday was my schedule to visit Antipolo to see the MMLDC people and to file my SOA for the magazine. Of course, aside from seeing the office and the "hotties" there are these new things. Roanne the former OJT is the new member of the gang and there's the messy halls and rooms anticipating to move to a new location within the vicinity.
But what rocked my world was Rye's revelation upon my questioning of why May 9 was their non-working holiday. It turned out that the date was set aside as a despedida. What shocked me more was the next words that Rye said:
"Last day na ni A. Magreresign na dahil papasok sa seminaryo. Nakapasa siya sa exam. Out of the 40 participants, 11 lang silang nakapasa."
It made me feel indifferent all of a sudden; like something cold was poured over my body. The same way I felt three years ago when a friend told me that he's going to get married just happened again.
I'm not against his wish of going through a very good endeavor. It's just that the idea simply can't sink in to my head as of now. Maybe in a few days or so. To think that I have known him for quite a long time as my former professor and eventually my boss, I can't imagine seeing him as a priest. I'd feel like crying actually every time the thought gushes in my head.
Rye said A has a girlfriend and we're both wondering how he's going to break the news. For sure, it's also going to be shocking for the girl's part. I said to Rye, I should know.
I've been through that kind of scenario when my first boyfriend N told me of his plans to become a priest. It didn't hurt too much actually. Maybe because we were still young then -- we were both 12, we never cared about the world too much and I suppose because I have been affirmative of what he really wanted that was why it became too easy for me to let him go. Only to find myself accidentally meeting Nagain after not seeing each other for ten years -- with a college degree and not inside the seminary nor has he become a priest when all the while I have thought that he's still a seminarian.
A is now 32 and becoming a priest takes 7 years. I'm 23 now and maybe by then, 7 years after when I'm already 30, he will be the one to officiate my wedding or my child's baptism.
Now enough of this story. My goosebumps are starting to rise again.
I'm a 30-something Millennial Tita from the Art Capital of the Philippines and I express what's on my mind (may it be a good experience or otherwise) through writing. Feel free to explore the fragments of my mind which you can find in this blog.
Oh and forget the formalities. You can call me Glaiza!
