Maybe, I was just that bored too because I also didn’t have any design in mind when I began my work. It was even a simple design. Too ordinary, unlike the ones done by those who are really passionate about visual arts. When I finished the thing after three days, I must admit feeling a bit dissatisfied because I forgot the element of balance in my own work (I missed the rule that there has to be an equal mix of dark and light colors!). But then, while I was reading through my bucket list and reached item 74, I realized, I was able to finish one artwork. Which makes it the fruition of this particular thing on my “to do” list.

While my work may not be as avant-garde as the ones made by renowned artists, the words of my friend Beth echo in my brain: Art is art. You can call it yours. I thought it’s fine if visual art isn’t in love with me. I found love in another form of art which is literature and creative writing anyway. We’re head over heels in love with each other and I'm so much fine (and still happy) with that.   

(Photo: Unsplash.com)

Now, there are two questions I want to ask you. Kamusta ka? Kaya pa ba?

As I type this down, a part of me thinks of the idea of congratulating myself because I was able to stay afloat and still (mentally) stable in this admittedly crazy situation for that long. Let’s all admit it, to be advised to stay home for a day is just pretty normal (though it could be inconvenient at times too), but to be told such rule for more than a year can be somewhat insane.  

To live like a hermit for a year and miss the totally different kind of life from the previous years can somewhat be stressful. It took me a year into this lockdown before things started to sink-in. I remember telling my mom a month ago that it is now when I am already starting to feel anxious, worried and exhausted at times. This kind of lockdown lifestyle was very far from the “on the go” type of life that I was so used to before pandemic shot things down to the ground.

And I guess that admission of my fear, and being vocal about my feelings related to this ongoing struggle somehow helped ease things up. While I was browsing the Messenger app on my phone, I came across the discovery that I was in touch with just one person within the past year just as the lockdown was announced. Going through our lengthy conversations, part of me was in disbelief-- because we were able to literally be in constant communication while the chaos brought by COVID19 was trying to inflict damage to the world. For more than a year.

In Episode 2 of the Youtube Channel Brgy. AAssumtion, it tackled the possibilities that may be brought by the “new normal” including measures we that we might all be doing in order to protect ourselves and those around us. That while there is a chance that we will no longer be able to return to the old normal, it stressed that isolation should not be the new way of life in the new normal because this is not the essence and definition of what communities and families really are.

The relatable part of the episode came when it mentioned the importance of reaching out. How a simple text, chat or phone call to ask “how are you?” can mean a lot to someone who might be needing it.  You see, as of this writing, I have two friends trying to conquer this COVID-19 struggle. One tested positive and is spending his treatment and recovery period alone in a hospital room, and the other one, while blessed to be spared from the physical malady, is isolated in her own bedroom away from some of the members of her family. And since this health crisis prohibits visiting them and being with them physically, my days now included daily chat messages of “how are you?” and “how are you feeling?” alongside a host of different stories. It made me realize that despite this tough time, we are still lucky to be provided with different and modern means to still let our presence felt by someone who needs our company, and this is the appropriate time to really utilize that. 

Just like actions, words have the power to heal as well. Next to providing some level of comfort and emotional support to friends dealing a difficult situation, the conversations I had with three particular friends also eased the worry and anxiety that I am occasionally feeling. Those chats enabled me to realize a few of my plans (and in a way, get to act on some of them), trade thoughts with them about life and future plans, and even talk about a few crazy things that made me teary-eyed in laughter. That while reaching out may be a usual gesture, it seemed to be a win-win situation as I am able to alleviate their loneliness and they on the other hand, get to let me use God’s gift of imagination in just the right proportion by keeping my worrywart side from consuming me and bothering me too much.

We all have our coping mechanisms in fighting this struggle may it be time, talent or even words. We just need to find what works best for us, utilize it and maintain it. Yes, a pandemic like COVID19 sure is scary. But we must also realize that this should not stop and shut us entirely from people around us just because of (useless) fear. That unless you’re a hermit crab, you still need to interact with those around you (but be sure to be mindful of the safety measures, okay?). You’re human after all. And interaction is a big part of human existence. If you believe hearing your voice works wonders to your favorite plant or pet, imagine what kind of wonder it can do with a person who’s longing to hear from you.  

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Since being diagnosed with glaucoma 12 years ago, I've been so used to making twice-a-year advance appointments with my current doctor. Yesterday was my first appointment for this year, and technically the second one during the challenging time of a pandemic.

Compared to the neurological condition that I acquired some 25 years ago, glaucoma is an ailment that is not visible from the outside. But routine consults with a specialist is a must since its signs and symptoms can lead to irreversible repercussions if neglected. I can't frankly say my being a wide-reader was put to good use on this particular scenario, because when I first heard the diagnosis when I was 24, I won't hide the truth that it scared the shit out of me. My mom knew how loud and hard I cried because I already knew what kind of "inevitable result" is in store for me because of this disease. 

At first, there was denial since the disease mostly affects the geriatric population (as in those above the age of 60!) and I was way far from hitting that age. And as if that was enough, I was told all the other ugly truths: the disease cannot be cured, it can only be managed and controlled to delay the prognosis and try to prevent the inevitable effect from happening this early. Hearing the fact that the disease is manageable allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief, at least. But the next words from my doctor were enough to burst my relieved bubble in an instant:

"That would mean you will need to be on lifetime maintenance medication."

And so the whole shitty scenario began. Aside from an illness that seemed to have arrived at a very unreasonable time, I was also battling some personal and career-related issues. But I was definite at one thing: to save whatever is left of one of my five senses for as long as I could. 

After being with three different doctors and being prescribed three different medications, I crossed paths with my current doctor in 2013. I guess deciding to find another doctor was one of the wisest decisions I made that year. During my first consultation with Dr. Norman Aquino seven years ago, he was able to shed some light on my condition, and was able to clearly explain the disease that I am battling. From its causes, as well as the treatment available, and how my condition can be managed. He further assured me that with proper management and medication, I need not cry that hard like the first time out of fear from the ailment's inevitable effect -- that one of my five senses will cease to exist.

"As long as you are taking your medication regularly, malabong mangyari ang kinakatakot mo." were his exact words. And during yesterday's appointment, Dr. Aquino explained that these measures that we are doing are to make sure that the disease is managed and controlled in a way that it will be far from progressing rapidly. He further told me, "36 ka pa lang. You still have a life ahead of you. I want you to have that quality of life well until your 80's."

I know not all doctors can be like that. And to encounter a specialist like him somehow put a few of my worries to rest. But there was another question that I've always wondered about. Given that the disease will be something that I have to live with for a lifetime, I want to know if it will affect my future plans. You see, I still have a lot of items left unticked on my bucket list. It was a question I asked my previous doctor five years ago to which I received an expectedly heart-crushing reply. The night before my appointment, the said question got rehashed in my head. But it also got me thinking, "We tend to get a second (even third) opinion from doctors about diseases, right?" Next to wanting some peace of mind, I thought I guess it won't hurt if I ask my doctor for his two cents worth whether my condition (and our current approach to the situation) can have unfavorable effects on my other plans. 

Despite mustering the courage, I was already expecting a "part two" of the previous scenario. But I want to say that yesterday's appointment is among those that's one for the books. Next to hearing a favorable response, Dr. Aquino also advised me of measures that I will possibly need to do should I decide to pursue those items on my list. Unlike the previous scene when I was just told "no, that is not possible" and was not even provided with further explanations as to why -- or if there can be options that can somehow make things a bit attainable.

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It has been more than a year since this COVID-19 pandemic turned everyone’s life around. If you are a reader who happens to be from the Philippines, you are surely well-aware that we have been dealing with this lockdown situation for 394 days. 

A year and 29 days of living an unexpectedly overturned life.

Despite trying to adjust to the situation and embrace the so-called “new normal” routine, I will not hide it, I do miss a few things from my old life. This year would have marked as my 109th month in my career as a legal administrative assistant if the pandemic and lockdown did not happen. And yes, there would be times when such longing would hit me -- hard. Especially whenever I would come across those Facebook “On This Day” photos from years back, or even current photos of former colleagues in places we often frequent would appear on Instagram.

It has been a “sa throwback na lang muna ang lahat” kind of life for more than a year now. And while I have somehow adapted to a rather different life because of the pandemic, I admit that there are times when I still long for this:

The Routines- I must say that the lockdown changed some of my routines, but there also are some that remained the same. For one, I miss those early-morning arrivals at work. Being the team’s early bird at times earned me the silly title of “Diwatang Ilaw” (or the Light Fairy), coined by our accountant, Lyn simply because switching the lights on is my first order of business when I arrive every morning. Another thing that I miss from my old life was this habit of consuming iced coffee every morning (and that’s despite the 18-degree temperature inside the office) which drives one of my officemates worried. But the longing part though is just partial, since I still embraced that iced coffee habit despite being locked at home the past year.

People- Given that I have worked in different offices and accomplished a number of different job titles in the last 14 years, I’ve also come across people with different types of personalities. Some of them I was able to build a positive rapport with, but there are also some that ended up the other way around. But for the last 8 years, this bunch was among the ones that I consider to be a group that I enjoyed being with. My former team in the firm was a group where you can find a good mix of interesting personalities. From a hands-on boss (who acts like everyone’s father at times),  a comedian, a cat dad, a math whiz who, despite being tone-deaf, says with conviction that she’s a songbird, to a living, breathing version of  the character Miss Minchin  from the book “A Little Princess”, my former workmates and our day-to-day antics and misadventures were among those that somehow “saved” my sanity especially on days when workdays tend to be at its harshest. 

The Shindig. Next to having found a job that allowed me to work in a location I highly preferred and with an ideal work schedule, the opportunity to be part of a group with creative minds was one of the things that I am grateful for. While the last eight years I spent with this team was not all about sunny days, their creativity in coming up and conceptualizing fun activities to compensate the busy and sometimes difficult schedules made my work days a thing worth reminiscing especially in this tough period. That despite going through this difficult time, I have something to look back to and say "we were this happy once" -- and there is a chance that we will, in time, get to be this exuberant again. 

My former boss once sent me an email with a subject that's so appropriate with today's situation: Brand new year, same old shit. And while I have a few things from my old life that I still yearn for, I am still hopeful that one day will come and things, while may not be the same anymore, will come out better that what and how it once was. 

It’s somewhat a relief knowing that my late father’s hometown is a COVID-free municipality. However, this was not a reason for us to be complacent so we still abide by the usual health and safety protocols. I may not be wearing my face mask in the photos but those were just for a few seconds, and as soon as we’re done, I still wore my mask back on. The last time I was here was almost three years ago. I must admit that visiting relatives here was somewhat bittersweet as this reminded me of the last trip I had with Papa. However, I thought that joining relatives on this trip after a stressful year of dealing with the lockdowns and quarantine would somehow be helpful. And probably, it indeed was.

Another thing that made me appreciate this trip is because it gave me a chance to redeem myself from all those “health mistakes” that I have been committing against my own body. Life in the province made me realize how “sinful” I have been for the past year of being in quarantine. And I loved how, even for just four days, I was able to redeem myself given the kind of life I had while I was on vacation. Being in a place far from access to junk food and soda allowed me to commit to healthy eating habits. The absence of the usual modes of transportation got me to move more (as in unlimited walkathon!). My usual morning allergies went on break too because I get to breathe fresh, unpolluted air which is very much different from how it is back home. And because I didn’t bring my laptop and hard drive to this trip, I got to take a break from those late-night Kdrama marathons which meant crawling beneath the sheets early! And by early, it meant lights are already out by 8:30 pm. A thing that is very much different from my 2 am sleeping habit when I am home.

I first heard about Drip Kofi through my author-friend Kim. Next to writing stories, coffee is another thing she couldn’t live without. The said coffee place also has a branch in Taytay, Rizal where she lives and she was wishing to find one in my hometown.  

Well, I guess that’s where the power of social media played a big part. I tried searching for Drip Kofi both on Google and Facebook, and found out that they indeed have a branch in Angono. I could navigate well through some parts of the town proper anyway, so with the information that I found online, tracking the location was a breeze. 

Drip Kofi Angono is located within E.C. Valle Commerical Center just across Angono Elementary School. I walk going to the coffee shop because it’s just a few minutes away from SM Center Angono where I usually do my weekend errands.

I first visited Drip Kofi Angono a week before Valentine’s Day. The place isn’t as big as the usual coffee shops I’d frequent to but it can accommodate a few people who wishes to get their coffee fix and enjoy a meal from their menu. On my first visit, what caught my attention was the minimalist design of the shop. And while the interiors are simple, it’s surrounded with natural light. Enough for those usual Instagram food shots while giving off some cozy vibe. This coffee shop also houses an apparel store within its premises that sells interesting pieces of clothing. And the way they hung the items placed some pop of color on the white wall! There was one particular item from there that I plan to purchase so I’ll inquire about it when I return.

During my first visit, I tried their Hazelnut iced coffee. Blame it on my love for Nutella but coffee with a taste of hazelnut also appeals to my palate. I got one in grande and was a bit surprised at first given that the size can already match a large cup similar to that in a milktea shop. But for 100 pesos, it’s worth the money. There was a good balance between the hazelnut and the coffee. Unlike in other coffee shops where their drinks really scream of caffeine and can pump loads in your system that can keep you up and wide-awake until the wee hours of the morning! 

Yesterday was the second time I visited Drip Kofi Angono. And just like the first instance, I was greeted by their three staff as soon as I came in. If there was one thing that Kim raves about this place next to coffee, it’s good customer service. Kim recommended that I try their Ca Phe Sua Da (or simply Vietnamese Coffee) and so I did. I partnered it with a food from their menu, beef and mushroom pizza.

The food was good and the serving was just enough for me; more of like a personal-sized pizza but tastes like something you do at home. It was my first time to try the Ca Phe Sua Da so there was some thoughts in my head thinking it might not suit my taste which surprisingly turned out to be the opposite. I was a bit worried that it could trigger my acid reflux but that never happened. I saw that the Ca Phe Sua Da can be ordered with an extra shot of milk as an add on but I remembered it late. Hopefully, I’ll get to do that on my next visit.

Drip Kofi Angono is an ideal place if you are on the lookout for place where you can spend some quiet afternoons for your “me time”. They observe a “strictly one hour only for dine-in” policy so this will be worth visiting if you are the type of person who isn’t comfortable with the usual crowded (and often) noisy surroundings of coffee shops. They are open daily from 11 am to 10 pm. As they have different branches within Rizal, as well as the neighboring province of Laguna, you may search for their respective Facebook pages for the operating hours.

Photo: Sebastian Hermann/ Unsplash.com

“Toxic ba ang trabaho mo?” (Is your job toxic?)

This was the question that caught my attention while I was browsing through my Instagram feed a couple of days ago when I came across the post of one of my favorite authors, Catholic preacher Bo Sanchez. While I have been through a career hiatus for some time now due to the pandemic, I thought, maybe, there’s something to get from it since I am considering on taking a different career route anyway.

While it was just a 6-minute video, it contained four powerful advice and guide questions on how someone can detoxify from a toxic job. Despite the job loss due to our ongoing situation, there still are people who are lucky to have retained their jobs. But admit it, working from home can sometimes leave one with that “exhausted from everything” feeling.

So what are those four ways on how to detoxify if your job starts to get toxic? Brother Bo has these “antidotes” that are actually simple but can be really helpful in detoxifying ourselves when our job is taking its toll on us.

Give time for personal restoration. Sometimes, the toxic feeling stems from one reason: You start the day empty. Brother Bo shares that the best way to restore yourself is by starting the day right. Incorporating activities such as exercise, saying a prayer and even a few minutes of quiet time before you start your workday will help you set your day right. When I was still working as a paralegal, I make it a point to arrive in the office at least an hour early whenever possible. I didn’t mind if some say it’s a bit of an OC behavior, but for me, by getting to the office early, I get to set aside time to establish routines that can help my productivity. May it be spending a good 15 minutes inside the church across the office building, getting some quiet time at the nearby open park, or stopping by the coffee shop next to our office to get my morning fuel-- coffee! You need to restore yourself in order to give productively. And unless you know your “productivity tank” is full, you simply cannot give what you do not have. 

Give time for relationship restoration. It’s a fact that at a certain point, our jobs will tend to be toxic -- to the point that we simply want to quit just to get it over and done with. However, most of us fail to realize that jobs tend to be toxic not because of the workload, but because of conflicts we encounter with the people we work with. It is imperative to establish clarity. Clarity is powerful if it is attained well. And the way to do it is to communicate gently. Speak your mind, but try to be polite in doing so. Communicating effectively lessens conflict in the workplace. It also gives you a chance to ascertain whether or not you can work with a certain person within the organization for the long term and what adjustment steps will be necessary in order to retain a positive relationship in the workplace.

Give time for short term planning. By short term, this puts focus on the importance of planning  for other things ahead of time. The millennial line “advance ako mag-isip” may often be taken as a funny joke to many, but there’s actually truth in those words. And such applies when you have a job that tends to have hectic days filled with a lot of activities. When I learned utilizing a daily planner at the start of my career as a paralegal 8 years ago, I confess to learning and incorporating this advice in my daily routine. I plan events even if the deadline is a few days, weeks or even months away. From work-related daily tasks, doctor’s appointments, date nights or even a well-deserved time for rest and relaxation, to plan ahead of time really works wonders. Not only does that prevent cramming and forgetting things the last minute, but it can also lessen the stress and toxicity of the workload because things get organized and done on time.

Give time for long-term planning.  In this part, it’s more of conducting a reality check on yourself from time-to-time. Much like being asked the question “where do you see yourself, say five years from now?” when you were just applying for your dream job. This advice of thinking about your long-term plans. Brother Bo shares four questions that can serve as a useful guide on this part.

Are you blessing people? 

It’s true that monetary reward associated with our jobs is a good motivator to come to the office everyday and to strive to do well with our jobs. Who wouldn’t love the idea of earning every 15th and 30th of the month and being able to “add to cart” that item you’ve always wanted when you do online shopping, right? But when you think of it, the main purpose of our jobs is to be of service to others. During my time as a paralegal, one of the things I would ask myself about at the end of the day was “how did I fair at work today?” And whenever I felt that I was able to serve people in the manner that they deserved, it was more than enough to compensate me emotionally and make me want to continue to come to work the next day no matter how crazy some days tend to be in the office. When one is happy to have served in the right purpose, other things (including the happiness with how much you earn) will eventually follow.

Are you using your core gifts? 

Our God-given talents are with us for a reason. Serve in your job while using the skills and talent that God blessed you with. In my case, becoming a contributing writer for the office’s internal magazine while working primarily as a paralegal allowed me to happily put into practice the craft that I loved the most -- writing. By doing what you love, it also contributes to your ability to perform productively in the position that you are designated first and foremost. 

Are you growing in your job? 

Lucky are those who can give a resounding “YES” to this question. But what if the answer is a “NO”? Brother Bo shares one advice: Find ways to grow. Learn new things. Develop your craft and core gifts. It is here that I see the significance of those free courses that one can take online during their spare time to be useful. And one can even do it without the need to quit their day job. 

Are you happy? 

The question about happiness in our jobs would surface from time-to-time and that’s normal. Most of the time, a lot of us blame our jobs as the reason to be unhappy. But in reality, it’s just a matter of tweaking our mindset. Rather than pronouncing that you are no longer happy, why not try asking yourself “how can I be happier?” in that case, you’ll try to let your mind do the work and look for options. If you try to work on ways to look for ways to be happy, you are diverting your attention to the negativity. Happiness is indeed a choice and life offers us a lot of choices. We simply need to do one thing: Pick what we think works best for us.

Are you earning? 

Again, it’s good for those who are happy if they say yes because it means that what they earn is enough (if not more than enough) for their needs and wants. But if the answer is no, the best option is to start a side hustle.  These days (and thanks to technology), most of us have an option to conveniently score side hustles while being able to hold on to our 9 to 5 jobs. And this is one of the things that will also allow us to use our God-given core gifts.  

At the end of the 6 minute video, I can’t help but ask silently why didn’t this come sooner? But on the other hand, Brother Bo’s advice was still timely and it will surely will be applicable for me regardless if I decide to stick to working in a corporate setting or choose to dive into freelancing again and venturing into working from home.