And this is enough to paint a smile on my face :-)

Hope everyone's having a pretty awesome Sunday.

While I am aware that I don't get to blog often lately, it makes me wonder because I have consistently been noticing this sign in most of my blog entries.

I do not intend to be famous whatsoever. The stuff I write are things mostly under the sun; most of them are my thoughts on so many things. So I'm not that surprised if people wouldn't pay much attention or if my blog does not get many "hits" or "visitors". I know there are people who think some blogs only contain shallow silliness and for sure my blog could be perceived as that. So seeing that widget tot up like The Count is enough to put a split-second smile on my face -- yes. even if it's just one.

And just this week, I found out the creature behind that thumbs-up. Yes. That reader is no longer just a "person" for that being has a name now. I realized I still get to use those skills I learned from my Journalism electives because I have my ways of knowing things.

No, I didn't use Christian Grey's technique of tracking down someone's BlackBerry nor hiring a detective to solve the puzzle.

I wish I could tell the barista that this cake meant more than just dessert.

If I were to describe my midweek, this is the first time I got all rushed up. I received this email from one of the bosses to my surprise in shouty capitals asking for help. While it actually alarmed me, I just played it cool remembering the exchange of emails I got to read in the Fifty Shades trilogy. I even got to tell my boss it reminded me of the book I was reading.

Lunchtime came and I found myself going to Starbucks for dessert. Today's the 18th of the month -- three years and six months since that night in 2009 when I made one giant yet difficult decision. As I walk back to the office, it started to sink in. For the longest time, I was free. I've been celebrating that freedom every time the 18th comes. But lately it has been coming to a point that I tend to forget that.

The past few weeks before this I've been enduring this unexplained dysphoria. Probably, it's because lately, I realize this "longing for something" and being "alone" is no longer funny at all. I have noticed questioning at a certain point of the day (or night). I would find myself asking if this situation that I am in will ever come to an end; and if so, the other question is when. Some nights ago, I remember asking myself (and my heart, for that matter) if it can still bear the situation it is going through for two more years. At that point, tears just welled up. I knew it meant the answer is not anymore. But then there are things that are out of my control. And this is among them

Going back to the workplace, with the warm breeze kissing my face, I came to a resolve:

Today, for the second time, I ordered tall iced tea to go with my sandwich for my Monday fix. While I hoped for the usual brown, brewed tea, this was what was served for me for the second time.

I really don't know yet what this drink is really composed of as I keep on forgetting to ask the barista. It tastes quite sour and fruity, and sometimes, I describe it weird.

Funny but just this afternoon as I was relishing the remaining hours of my workday, I found myself staring at this and eventually taking this picture. Actually, it reminded me of this type of champagne -- Bollinger!

It kind of made me feel disappointed knowing that ice cream days are about to come to an end soon. But I still have that fond memory.

Thank you for being a discreet witness on that January night --  that was made up of bowls of your sweet, freezing concoctions almost made a fairytale to come true. For being the taciturn spectator to how we talked and laughed.


And for being the rubbernecker to how I wished he was the one I was and had been long praying and waiting for.

For almost two years, I kept passing by your star every morning. But these past two days has been different. And with your passing, things will somewhat be different.

A lot of us do know and feel that way. Words of thanks seem to be not enough for the inspiration and laughter that you have given for years to the young, old and the young at heart.


Nevertheless, thank you -- for teaching people how to look at the brighter (and funnier) side of life, and for inculcating to many that laughter is still (and will always be) the best panacea to life's gloomy situations. 


Your mission here on  Earth of providing happiness to people may have ceased. But then it's the angels' turn to experience the same hearty laughter you've shared with us. Heaven is indeed a happier place because they now have you around.

And succeeded at it!

I had to give blogging an abrupt break for some time because I went on a mission. Well, it was actually more of a challenge because it was something that I never tried doing before.

"I knew I almost had my own Christian Grey in him but I had to let him go. Yes, he might not be as dashing as how that protagonist in the story is, but in a way, I knew he would be able to give me the world in a way that I wanted. (If I only got to give him the chance)."

This was my response to Katrina Atadero during our conversation last night about the book. And yes, this same thought amongst others had been giving me tearful nights. I will not be ashamed to admit that.

"I give you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, to stand by your side in good times and in bad, to share your joy as well as your sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals and dreams, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, to share my hopes and dreams with you, and bring you solace in times of need."  

"I solemnly vow that I will safeguard and hold dear and deep in my heart our union and you. I promise to love you faithfully, forsaking all others, through the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health, regardless of where life takes us. I will protect you, trust you and respect you. I will share your joys and sorrows and comfort you in times of need. I promise to cherish you and uphold your hopes and dreams and keep you safe at my side. All that is mine is now yours. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love from this moment on for as long as we both shall live."