 |
| No one's too old for a party -- not even at 30! |
God's plan for my life is simple. He will take all my choices, mistakes and failures, and turn them into something good.
I turned another year older two weeks ago so this is a long overdue post. For years, I have lived my life always looking at things "in the future tense". While an is event unfolding in the present, I always have one question to constantly ask and think of: What will happen tomorrow?
Years ago, when I was just 18, I remember a time when I asked myself, "will I still be alive enough to reach the age of 30?" When my birthday came, I recalled that question only to find an answer -- I am still here. And I am here now. It felt like I succeeded defying some odds. In my 20's my life was filled with worry and anxiety, from health, career to relationships. I have a lot of those "paano na" momemnts in my youth. But the night before the big day, I tried digging stuff from inner memory and found out a lot of wonderful things among of which are:
- I was blessed a stable job for two and a half years and counting -- with a kind boss and wonderful colleagues to boot.
- I am able to cross out items in my bucket list one after the other.
- I am still able to see quite clearly (with the help of my trusty glasses of course).
Contrary to my fear that I could be blind by the time I am 30 years old.
- I have a complete family and my parents are still here to celebrate such a milestone with me.
- That God allowed me to be a productive being despite having to battle health issues once in a while.
It may only be a few, but those are worthy discoveries. As I turn 30, when I try to look at how things has happened in my life, what I have now were more than what I wanted and prayed for. God indeed knows how to write a straight line from a broken one for He compensated me for the things I previously lost. As much as I'd like to use #30 on my photos or Facebook status posts, I'd rather not. For it signifies the end (those in the written profession, journalists and editors specifically would know).
But in reality, this is only the beginning of wonderful days that are ahead.
To the 24 Year-Old Glaiza,
As you wake up today, you have reached a year shy of quarter life. How time really flies. While I am unsure as to what I should tell you in this letter, I'd like you to know one thing: Life is ALWAYS wonderful.
I know that a lot of things are going in your life lately. Quarterlife crisis included but that is among those things that will remind you you're human. You'll go through periods of confusion and uncertainty but just like any other thing in life, it will also pass. Eventually you'll realize that all these has purpose. While you are living to fulfill your dreams and following your passion, you will come to a point that you will need to figure and weigh things out. Nothing endures but change and wanting for a life of feasibility is not a bad thing. It only means that you know the difference between what is stagnant and what is stable -- and which one you should take. Just be willing to try each and every positive opportunity that will come your way because it is in trying you'll get to find the one that fits. I cannot exactly tell the precise time (maybe in a year or two) but one thing is for sure -- you will find it in the most unexpected industry and you'll feel it in your heart that it's the right one. The heartaches you felt for the jobs that you've lost will eventually pay off because you'll soon be employed in an industry that will make you realize how valuable you are through your talents (regardless if you walk like a penguin or if your eyesight is not as sharp as an owl's).
It is in your job, you will fulfill items on your bucket list. Remember that wish of wanting to return to Ateneo that you wrote? You'll soon find yourself there not just to stroll around but for a noble purpose. You've always wanted to obtain a passport before reaching 30? That will happen. You've always wanted to do volunteer work? Surely you'll be able to join not just in one but in a lot of it. It will be in those activities you'll experience a different level of happiness and realize that part of your purpose is to serve others and you don't need to be in politics to do it.
You would go through heartache and will try to go to a couple of dates but you'll end up ditching both. I know you'd be thinking you're old enough to know or to be in that point but through those heartaches, you'll know what you really want and decide on what you really deserve -- something real and not the one that will just waste your time. The pain of being left behind (or to put it bluntly "dumped") may linger on but don't let that consume you. There is always a reason why the guy in your past won't make it to your future -- that is because there is someone out there who qualifies to have the kind and amount of love that you can give. You may wait for a very long time and feel like simply just giving up thinking nothing happens, but hang in there and keep the faith. God is never deaf to your prayers. Don't be afraid to give things a try because eventually, things will fall in place. Who knows, the boy you met when you were just 18 (and would meet again a decade later) could just be the same person you have been asking God for.
Life is wonderful. It always will be. Remember that.
Cheers,
Your 30 Year-Old Self
