Archive for February 2012

While I am aware of the growing titles that are stuck in my reading list waiting to be finished, I unfortunately cannot get my hands off each book that I get to hold whenever I am in a bookstore.

Three days ago, I was browsing over the shelves and found this little book entitled Oh, God, I'm Still Single by Rissa Singson-Kawpeng. I was typing on my mobile phone some words from another book but in the end, I walked out of the store carrying this thin, handy one.

Blame it on me for being still single which made me a perfect candidate to have this book, but as soon as I arrived home, I decided that reading the novel True Believer will have to be placed on hold for some time because I will be concentrating on this one. And by concentrate, I was able to finish the book in well, record-breaking three hours.

It might be a thin book but it's packed with the wonderful advice for those, as the book referred to, yet-to-be-married Christians. Having those 10 guidelines, it gave enlightenment on some of the things that had bothered or perhaps, confused me for some time. I knew some of the things discussed in there for I had been practicing them for a while now. However, I particularly loved Lesson Number 9 which tackled setting one's boundaries. It really shed light about my questions about decoding two people's relationship status (read: if it's just MU, MOMOL or really official) in plain, simple explanation (quoted from the book):

1. Don't let any man treat you like you're his girlfriend, unless he's made it EXPLICITLY clear. If there are doubts in your head, then the answer is you're not.

2. Don't let him hold your hand,put his arm around you or kiss you affectionately (even on the cheek) unless he's committed to you.

3. Don't let him have things for free. Your time and company is valuable. So, if he wants that, let him know it's a role of a girlfriend and he won't get it unless he's willing to pay the price.

I didn't regret spending a few pennies for that book. I may have been single for the longest time now but then, just like what the book said, waiting could be difficult, given the pangs of loneliness that could strike at any given time. Yet, being single is also a finite time for a lot of things and discoveries.

I know that someone's patiently waiting for me out there too. And if my age is no longer in the calendar, worry not -- it's still in the thermometer.

I was busy checking and arranging my belongings this morning when I came across an old email entitled Growing With Someone which I have kept in my time capsule (yes, I do have one). It's Valentine's Day tomorrow and while I will be celebrating it by myself (yes, just like the years back), I shall post the content of the email instead.

Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse. "You don't own because you didn't ask." God said. Not only I asked for a spouse, but also explained what kind of spouse I wanted.

I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive, compassionate and truthful one. I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamed about. As time went by, I added the required list of my wanted spouse. One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart.

“My servant, I cannot give you what you want.”

I asked, “Why God?”

God said, “Because I am God and I am fair. God is the truth and all I do are true and right.”

I asked God, “I don’t understand. Why can’t I have what I ask from you?”

God answered, “I will explain. It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand because I cannot give something that is not your own self. It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you if sometimes you are still hostile; or to give you someone generous but sometimes you can be cruel; or someone forgiving, however, you can still hide revenge; someone understanding, however, you are very insensitive.”

He then said to me, “It is better for Me to give you someone who I know could grow to have all qualities you are searching rather than to make you waste your time in finding someone who already have the qualities you want.”

Your spouse would be bone from your bone and flesh from your flesh. You will see yourself in him and both of you will be one. Marriage is like school. It is a life-long education. It is where you and your partner make adjustments and aim not merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and to make a solid teamwork. I don’t give you a perfect partner because you are not perfect either. Instead, I would give you a partner with whom you would grow together.”

What will be your plans for Valentine's Day? I've got mine planned since last week. It won't really be that special but I'd like to think I'm doing this for a change. After all, there's a point when someone said, you need not be a couple to celebrate V-day.

I just hope this rainy weather won't be spoiling the fun.