The year is about to come to a close in a week and three days and checking this blog, I only wrote two entries for this month. As much as I loved writing, realizing that I never wrote anything much the past weeks is unbelievable.
As I write this, my parents are asleep. I'm the only person up hoping to be able to wait for my brother to come home from his stint at a wedding. My 10-day vacation from work for the Christmas season has started, and it has been something I've been waiting for.
I'd say I have been waiting for it. The last week before the office's Christmas closure has been agonizing both for us here in Manila and for the other folks in Australia. Compared to last year, it has been that toxic making each of the staff call in sick. Lucky for me, despite coming home literally crawling to bed for the last five nights, I survived the stress and exhaustion. Maybe because I just motivated myself that I am not entitled to call in sick on the last work week prior to a vacation.
And while I was able to survive the toxic week with the combined stress of Christmas rush, I had to miss the Simbang Gabi this year. As much as I want to complete it supposedly for the sixth year, I had to choose to let go. Yes, I felt bad and disappointed at myself for being unable to finish something I've started, but the exhaustion from the workload is way too high. And if I won't listen to my body, there's a high chance that I'd spend Christmas in a hospital bed in a hospital gown eating hospital food. Thus, giving up is the best way to go.
Save for my a few more preps for Christmas (which, oddly I could not feel much) and plans of embarking in another adventure in a few days, I'll be spending my holidays catching up on sleep -- I've been deprived of that luxury for a week after all.
Besides seeing places like malls and streets decorated with glittering lights and Christmas trees, one of the things that makes one realize that this event is just around the corner is the emergence of TV ads and station IDs related to Christmas. in the past, I wrote an an entry about those
advertisements that not only reminds you of the occasion, but never fails to tug hearstrings as well.
Natatandaan mo ba ito?
I was out with some friends nights ago and when the conversation lead to things Christmas, my friend C asked me to watch this video. At first I thought this was cool. I'm kind of familiar of the station ID having seen it 8 years ago. On a side note, this has a story to tell. Back then, whenever this would be flashed on the TV screen, I try not to see it. Either I switch channels or turn the TV off. At one point, someone asked me what is it with that ad that I don't like that I have to turn the TV off.
To which, I would tell,
"it's the guitar guy".
I was 21 that time and it was really the reason. I don't know with myself too why I did not like seeing that guy with the guitar in that ad. But as years pass, when I see other station IDs, I'd wonder where could that guitar guy in white polo is now, and who could he probably be. And nights back in the middle of watching this with friends, another friend, K placed a random photo from my timeline on our table and asked me,
"kilala mo siya?"
I sat there frozen for minutes looking at them after seeing the photo. I wanted to ask what's the relevance of these. And when I saw her gadget, the video paused on a particular timestamp, it hit me without anyone having to tell me all about it. The next thing I knew, I was hiding my face at B's shoulders as I tried to wipe those trickling tears pending to escape my eyes.
Yeah, TV ads do make me cry. They never fail to. And this one was no exception. But this time, I cried tears that people can see but only my soul could understand.
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| Teddy bears don't need hearts. They are already stuffed with LOVE. |
Much has been said and witnessed about the victims of the recent calamity that left a huge devastating effect to the country, most of them were in the point of view of adults. But how about the children?
A few days after my volunteering stint in Ateneo, I chanced upon Mommy Fleur's entry about the 1000 Bearhugs Project.
From their
website:
Play is a child's natural language and a means for them to make sense of their experiences. Trauma can be addressed through the experiential narratives of play therapy and allows a child to speak of what he or she has gone through when they cannot find the words to do so. These toys provide children with a certain amount of security in a sometimes-scary world.
Just like volunteering in Ateneo, I did not think twice about participating in this endeavor. Each of us had gone through that phase in our own childhood where we got attached to our "favorite toy". When I was a kid, it was a Mickey Mouse stuff toy from Singapore that became my bedtime companion for so many years. Mama herself was an advocate of these type campaigns too. And it made me realize, I had been that lucky to be blessed with a simple yet conflict-free childhood and letting another child have the same thing even through this little endeavor, would be the best possible way to give back.
I phoned Mama immediately hoping to get a toy or two from what she had kept from my plush toys but she said she had mostly given those years before. I decided to make a trip to Toy Kingdom after work and purchased these two cuddly bears. Thankfully, the Babyland branch at Eastwood Mall was among the drop off points I was able to send them off the following day.
While I don't have kids of my own yet, shopping for toys to be given away to a good cause gave me this elation deep inside. I believe it's a kind of inner happiness one tends to feel upon doing something worthwhile. And if you wish to join the cause, they are accepting bear (or any plush toys suitable for kids 3-12 years old) until December 8.
You may also visit
Black Pencil Project for further information. The list of drop off points where you can bring your toy donations are listed
here.
For the last three years or so, I have never witnessed the celebration of Angono's Higantes Festival. Doing so was mostly out of choice. Blame it on the fact that I know I am getting old each year, I just want to stay home. Going out is either done out of spontaneity.
Pardon our looks. I was not really planning of leaving the house today but had to leave to run some errands. While I was at the mall, my classmate Hermil invited me for an impromptu reunion with my college classmates. Given that we have not seen each other for years (most of us left the university 8 years ago), I decided it's reasonable to give in to it -- despite the rainy bed weather outdoors.
And since this an unplanned thing, patak-patak ang dinner (okay for the sake of clarity, it's dutch treat). Here we are goofing in the dinner table while having a humble meal of roast chicken and pizza.
If there's one thing about growing old (in terms of age) it's being able to appreciate time spent with friends and knowing that you can still have good, clean fun if you choose to. Tonight was filled with tummy-aching conversations about college days, work, past and present loves, and well, some naughtiness in between and I can't blame them (as most of them are "technically married" and I'm the last single woman standing). But you've got nothing to worry about as I just listened and laughed when they discussed about the three-letter "S" word.
It's a good thing that I said yes to Hermil's invitation. While we wanted to do a part 2, it might come later than sooner as most of us are leaving the country for greener pastures. But hopefully, we'll be able to invite more colleagues next time.
Photos courtesy of Hermil.
Seeing Typhoon Yolanda's aftermath in the news has been heartbreaking that it made everyone concerned and alarmed. I myself went through a restless period. I can't even watch TV anymore because seeing the kind of mess the tragedy left behind both to property and how it claimed the lives of people is devastating. It did not make me think twice about trying to do something meaningful because despite of not being affected physically, what I had seen affected me emotionally.
When both DSWD and President Aquino himself sent out an announcement calling for volunteers, I seriously wanted to go, if not for the hassle of having to get a schedule. However, when the said government agency opened satellite offices that accept walk-in volunteers, I was able to sigh relief. It was a good thing too that my best friend Apple planned of joining the endeavor. After some liaising (side by side my hectic schedule at work) with POC's we decided to come in as walk-in volunteers at the satellite office in Ateneo de Manila University.
I can't say I am a newbie nor a veteran with volunteering. I've joined outreach activities in the office including the relief operations for Typhoon Maring victims months ago. In a way there are some "firsts" to the two of us. This is Apple's first time to be a volunteer, and this is the first time I would be joining a "national" relief mission. For my part. besides wanting to help, I decided doing this to respond to an important call. I've tried to volunteer for a couple of times and I don't mind doing it again. While I looked forward to it, I had some apprehensions too. I have not placed myself to a graveyard shift since I left my job at the advertising firm three years ago. But then this was for a good cause so I decided to go for it.
This endeavor proved to be worth it,because even if I went on volunteering the graveyard shift, I never felt tired nor sleepy the whole time I was packing the relief goods. Maybe because the Ateneo crowd are one cheery community. I also had a chance to mingle with different individuals. What made it a happy one was at the end of the shift, while DSWD was just expecting 80,000 bags from the Ateneo warehouse, we were able to pack 82,000 relief bags that could sustain a family for a week.
Yesterday afternoon, my college classmate Joy (whose husband is an Atenean) asked me "how was your lakad last night?" My response was just this short:
It was the best night out ever.
The past two days, the term "right against self incrimination" has been ringing a bell. In the middle of my duties at work, I took note when one senator explained when should this term be appropriately used. I never knew the term would mean more than just a little lecture of some sorts until tonight. As I was on the phone with another colleague, I came across a string of messages someone sent me during my birthday last Tuesday. Except for the orange tabby with the word sorry, which I saw the morning after my birthday, I missed seeing the first three photos (seriously, I think I really am blind).
Browsing these images back and forth last night and seeing the timestamps in the messages, , I found out that in a way, he didn't forget.
Quoting Senator Francis Escudero's speech, "When you keep on invoking your right against self incrimination it implies that (you) admit to committing a crime, a wrongdoing." I won't use that line however. I am well aware that I did something wrong towards someone even before I discovered these images and I do feel a certain level of guilt. And while I had apologized, knowing that it was the best thing to do, I couldn't do anything more but move forward and hope that my decision to apologize would suffice and it would turn out to be the good resolve.
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| Good things come to those who wait. If he works like hell while he waits. |
The previous week was something that's far from the usual. I can't say it's a breezy, manageable one like before. The last three days particularly were hectic especially for me. It was that busy that all I was praying for was to be given with the strength that I need to get on, given that I had a huge deadline to meet.
Another title was added to my job description in the last three days. I was a campaign assistant for the wife of my boss who is seeking for an elective position in the Law Society. I was asked to disseminate the material to her colleagues. Doing so reminded me of Marlon, my friend's former assistant. The job gave me an idea on how it is to be in his shoes. Sure, the it isn't as easy as eating peanuts. I had to do some sacrifice. My boss nor his wife are no politicians but doing the job for them somehow gave me a peak on such kind of calling. It made me think, if God is preparing me for a different life in the future, at least I have an idea this early.
But the sacrifice did not go to waste. I was able to accomplish them before the given deadline as I juggle with my other tasks. While I was not expecting anything in return, my boss's wife emailed me to drop a note to say thank you. It was enough to make my heart melt.
Yesterday was the quarterly Townhall Meeting scheduled for our department. I was looking forward to attending just like in the previous quarters but circumstances prohibited me from doing so. At one point, I was disheartened, but there's no room for complaint. I suppose it happened for a purpose. This plaque is now standing quietly in a corner in my bedroom. It's been a day after the awarding, it has not sunk into my mind yet. In the middle of the sacrifice, I only asked for one thing -- that all my sacrifice will be worth it.
In the end, it became such a sweet finish to a loaded week. And I could not be anything but thankful.
