This was what greeted me upon waking up this morning on my doorstep.

Today officially marked my last day at work. I won't be divulging the whole story and just leave it as it is to myself (perhaps, I'd let my handy-dandy diary know everything). Funny but as of now, I am not feeling anything. Probably, it has not dawned on me yet that by tomorrow, things would start to be different again.

My colleagues were caught by surprise when I told them (I only informed four of them, actually) the news that it's my last day. One of them, J, asked me why I never wanted them to know. Well, primarily, that's because while goodbyes are necessary, it's a thing that's hard for me to do. As for the final cry, I did cry -- in the shoulders of my office mate GV as I told him to watch over and take care of my dear "neighbor" DML who's going to be among those who'll I miss (and miss badly at that) as well as those chitchats with him.

But maybe, the reason why there is absence of pain for leaving is the fact that part of me was looking at the bright side of things. You win some, you lose some. If I were to think of it, leaving would allow me to finally get some freedom. I will not hide that at times, I still want my old life back -- when I am awake at day and asleep at night. When I can watch local news on prime time TV instead of watching more of The Today Show and NBC Nightly on mornings.

At least, I now have enough time to de-clutter the mess and spend time immersing in the pages of the books I longed to and failed to read for so long.

Little stuff that I miss doing.

I know that in return to having my life back, I will have to temporarily say goodbye to tall Starbucks Mocha Frappucino during payday, the weekend trips to the mall and that pair of Charles and Keith? Sadly, it would have to wait.

A line of a certain song goes, "there's got to be a morning after". Part of me is a bit uncertain knowing that I have a bill to pay and prescriptions to fill and those about what's going to happen next but then, like how a priest once said in his homily, "do not worry about tomorrow. It will deal on its own. God will suffice."

Now this post will be the last for tonight. Just to relieve our minds off of that previously posted scary story (I don't want us sleeping with those frightening thoughts -- they're not the right way to dream land).

Here are the pieces of wisdom I realized this week:

1) Just when I thought that self hatred is more of an emotional problem, it is actually considered as a sin.

2) People keep secrets mainly for fear of being rejected and because they are scared of how people might react once it is revealed.

Disclaimer: What you're about to read does not intend to scare you.

It happened in the office during the wee hours of Saturday morning, because there was a lengthy interval for my next call, I decided to just give myself a quick shut eye to give my peepers some rest. But given the fact that I just got three hours of sleep that morning, the quick shut eye became a ten-minute quick nap (don't worry. I don't sleep on the job and despite that, I still am able to quickly answer a call when it comes in and the phone rings). suddenly, I had to wake up because I felt a light tap on my knee (it felt as if someone really, as in physically did it). But when I opened my eyes, of course, no one could be hiding under my table. Thinking that it was only because I lacked sleep, I simply dismissed it and went on with what I do.

Then came minutes before 3AM when the second shut eye happened. Again, I don't have a call to attend to. But this time is what I really consider odd. While I was again on a quick nap, I found myself opening my eyes after feeling a shaking motion on my right shoulder as if someone was waking me up.

I looked around thinking that it was someone else ( a team mate or perhaps a supervisor) but I found no one walking within the bay where my space is located. At that point, I already started feeling my goosebumps rise.

Who or what could that probably be?

Creepy I know. And this was not the first time it happened. I remember almost a month back, my friend and her team mate was telling me that she saw and heard me attending to a call (even complimenting me about it) on my old workstation

What's odd was it happened on the night when I was not around because I was sick and can't report to work.

I only thought it was as simple as a doppelgänger as it has happened to some of us before. But upon hearing that from my friend's team mate, and now involved me, I will not hide it that it's kinda scary.

Then the other night I was sitting with my friends at work discussing my thoughts about arranged marriages in other cultures. I remember telling them that if I were entrusted by my family in an arranged marriage set-up, I will certainly disagree to my heart's content.

Out of the blue, my best friend Apple blurted out the following question:

"Eh, what if your parents arranged you to marry Diether Ocampo?"

Then there was split second silence before I finally picked what to say. Which was:

"If ever that happens, I'd rest my case and submit myself to what they want. I'll even tell them to push through with the wedding ASAP! (insert villainess laugh here)"

Talk about, like what Apple joking referred to before -- illusions, hahaha!

But most probably, it's also about best friends finishing each other's silly, shallow sentences. And seeing the bright side of things -- even conversations as simple as this.

Today, I have been single for two years and seven months. Indeed time nowadays run really fast.

Now to the reason for this post, I shall be quoting (as an addition) lines from the poem Freeze This Blissful Moment by Filipino author B-Ann S. Echevarria to describe an event happened that days ago.

As much as I want to divulge the story, I simply cannot; believing that at times, it pays to be silent. Yes, part of me was happy then but at the same time, I was totally uneasy. And I don't know why.

The author (in her poem) hoped that time would simply stop for her to savor that blissful moment with someone "special". As for me, while the moment I had was indeed blissful as I see it, I was the one who froze the whole time. I was not my normal self so to speak.

It was the longest 20 minutes or so that I had with a person that I just can't look into the eye.

Funny but while other people would probably want to trade places with me to feel that blissful moment, I on the other hand wanted to call that moment to a halt ASAP at the time it was happening.

So, I was thinking of what to post again when all of a sudden this song just played out of the blue. Cheesy, I know! But if not for the person who kept playing this song at the office every morning, this post won't be here in the first place. Now, this one from Richard Marx and Donna Lewis never fails to bring me back to the time when I dated a former colleague, J almost eight months ago.

I first heard of this song from a wedding website (if I'm not mistaken, it was that of his brother's -- which I saw on Facebook). At the Beginning was a song used in the animated film Anastasia. While I still dream of bringing home Mickey Mouse, whenever I hear this song, it never failed to remind me of J; and that's despite he loves Broadway soundtracks than that of Disney's.

I thought of posting something about lessons. I just thought of tinkering them months about things I'd want to teach my (future) kids. As I write this entry, I am just two months shy from turning another year older. I am about to reach the age where most people settle down and start a family of their own and I won't be ashamed to admit that such thought had been crossing my mind too lately, once in a while.

So what are those bits and pieces I hope to pass on? Scroll down and take the plunge.

1. Not to worry about tomorrow; for it will deal on its own.

2. That the reason God created each and every brand new day is for you to redeem yourself from the mistake you made yesterday.

3. Fall in love with reading and books. For they're are the best companions you could ever have in times of solitude.

4. Crying is fine to express grief for it heals you. But if you let that overcome your being, it could kill you.

5. The first person you’d fall in love with doesn’t necessarily become the last. It hurts. But in reality, it rarely happens.

6. To behave as a lady (or as a man) whenever in public.

7. If you’re not involved in something, don’t try jumping into it.

8. Cherish and respect your parents.

9. Keep in mind the importance of marriage and if you could, opt to stay happily married.

10. Some things require deciding on your own. It might not always be right but when you made a wrong one, pull yourself up and learn from it.

11. Besides honesty, punctuality as well counts as the best policy.

12. Be nice to janitors, waiters and security guards.

13. Teflon pans and Scotch Brite scouring pads don’t mix.

14. Sometimes, when the situation calls it, saying no and surrendering is the only option. And there's no harm to give in to that -- especially if you know you've done your part, and your best.

15. That if all else fails, try PRAYER. For all things that are impossible to men, are possible with God.

Mom's finally calling me for bedtime. I still have journal to write to. Have a good night everyone.

For someone who often goes through stressful moments and is not really good at coping with it, sleep is the only sweet escape. Unfortunately, these days, I've been having issues with getting a restful slumber. Being able to complete a whole 8-9 hours snoozing rarely happens nowadays. I'd like to say I am sleep-deprived (if not sort of).

Now, I would only know if I have a restful slumber if I tend to have dreams in the REM stage (now, that's too psychological) regardless if I'd get to recall it or not. Funny but I was not supposed to write a post on this topic if not for this "ambitious" dream I had nights back. A dream I shared to my best friend Apple. Surprisingly, it's about a "not-so-ordinary" scene of a man in gray tuxedo coming to my house on a rainy night.

The guy happens to be him:

Crazy, right? As much as I'd like to hide the story as I feel kinda shy bout it but then, Apple mentioned about the whole thing in my Facebook status. And it left me beet red in the wee hours of the morning. But it's just fine. At least just for fun (although I'm wondering why of all people, it was Diether Ocampo who made a cameo appearance). There's actually an explanation to it however, I would need to browse on the piles of Cosmopolitan magazines in my library to find out.

So imagine my happiness every time I get to find a notice saying "a comment needs to be moderated" in my blog's dashboard. It never fails to bring me that giddy, happy feeling because it meant someone took time to read my shallow silliness and skim through my thoughts.

May it be a friend or even a complete stranger, their comments in my entries do matter (and when I do get the annoying comments, I just feel the feeling of annoyance and then just let go by deleting it -- no need to stress). Last Friday, while I was filled with excitement to type away my plans for the weekend, someone, girl who went to my pseudonym "annaviajera" left me a comment in my post about the book I previously read. After tracing through the link, I found out that the message actually came from one of the authors -- Ana Maria Villanueva-Lykes, who wrote the kilig story Sweet and Sour and the blogger behind the travel blog, Ana Viajera.

This was actually the fourth time someone I consider famous dropped by my blog so nice enough to leave me a note. Of course, I can't help but be excited and feel the kilig at the same time. For writers like me, just words of appreciation are enough to feel that what I wrote mattered -- at least in one way or the other. And I value that. Regardless of how long or short the comment was and may the comment be something good or perhaps otherwise.

Ms. Lykes, Thank you for the comment and for visiting my blog. I am honored to have someone like you as one of my visitors. I'm looking forward to reading Meeting at San Agustin from the book First Love.

Want to take a peak at Ana's blog? Click here.

I have been spending weekends trooping to the SM Megamall on Sundays and almost three weeks back, I came across this program Ninoy, My Hero in line with the late senator Ninoy Aquino's 28th death anniversary. The event featured a photo and art exhibit (and by art, I mean the decent, interesting one) from the Samahang Kartunista ng Pilipinas. I also got to participate in writing on the freedom wall they placed to answer the question "Who is You Hero?"

It piqued my interest seeing the exhibit myself. I was caught in awe looking at the images and travelling back in time. I was born a year and two (or three) months after Ninoy's assassination; and by this exhibit, it served as a walk through history on how a hero was made.

I know that this could be that shallow but among the unexpected thing I get to experience attending this event was meeting the country's highest official, president Noynoy Aquino. Interestingly, while having a president in a public place like the mall could be of high security concern, and he had security escorts with him, the PSG guys are not your usual "hawi boys" (to foreign readers, hawi boys refer to security escorts who tend to shove people who would like to glance even get close to a famous personality at public gatherings) and the audience were well-behaved, surprisingly. And I just have to write that one here. After all, events like that don't happen everyday.