Besides seeing places like malls and streets decorated with glittering lights and Christmas trees, one of the things that makes one realize that this event is just around the corner is the emergence of TV ads and station IDs related to Christmas. in the past, I wrote an an entry about those advertisements that not only reminds you of the occasion, but never fails to tug hearstrings as well.

Natatandaan mo ba ito?



I was out with some friends nights ago and when the conversation lead to things Christmas, my friend C asked me to watch this video. At first I thought this was cool. I'm kind of familiar of the station ID having seen it 8 years ago. On a side note, this has a story to tell. Back then, whenever this would be flashed on the TV screen, I try not to see it. Either I switch channels or turn the TV off. At one point, someone asked me what is it with that ad that I don't like that I have to turn the TV off.

To which, I would tell, "it's the guitar guy".

I was 21 that time and it was really the reason. I don't know with myself too why I did not like seeing that guy with the guitar in that ad. But as years pass, when I see other station IDs, I'd wonder where could that guitar guy in white polo is now, and who could he probably be. And nights back in the middle of watching this with friends, another friend, K placed a random photo from my timeline on our table and asked me, "kilala mo siya?"

I sat there frozen for minutes looking at them after seeing the photo. I wanted to ask what's the relevance of these.  And when I saw her gadget, the video paused on a particular timestamp, it hit me without anyone having to tell me all about it. The next thing I knew, I was hiding my face at B's shoulders as I tried to wipe those trickling tears pending to escape my eyes.

Yeah, TV ads do make me cry. They never fail to. And this one was no exception. But this time, I cried tears that people can see but only my soul could understand.

Teddy bears don't need hearts. They are already stuffed with LOVE.

Much has been said and witnessed about the victims of the recent calamity that left a huge devastating effect to the country, most of them were in the point of view of adults. But how about the children?

A few days after my volunteering stint in Ateneo, I chanced upon Mommy Fleur's entry about the 1000 Bearhugs Project.

From their website:

Play is a child's natural language and a means for them to make sense of their experiences. Trauma can be addressed through the experiential narratives of play therapy and allows a child to speak of what he or she has gone through when they cannot find the words to do so. These toys provide children with a certain amount of security in a sometimes-scary world.





You may also visit Black Pencil Project for further information. The list of drop off points where you can bring your toy donations are listed here.

It was the best night out ever.

Good things come to those who wait. If he works like hell while he waits.

Those were the exact words that kept ringing in my ears since Tuesday.

After having the test recommended by my doctor done (again) today, I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. I've been worrying about it this week especially when the first result came out. I was really hoping and praying that I'd be spared from another health malady as I already have enough of it.

I was somewhat feeling uneasy this morning. But when the results came out, I was able to be relaxed finally. Yet, I vowed to myself one thing: I will SERIOUSLY follow my doctor's (and my mom's) recommendations and advice.

Click image for better resolution.

Because save for a few musts on the list and doctors appointments together with the work week that went for two days, this week has been one of those breeziest periods ever. And this one has been playing in my head for countless times today. Not to forget that payday has to be moved earlier because 15th is on a Sunday.

Now, who says Friday the 13th (always) spells bad luck? It's going to be a weekend too, so who's not excited.

Photo source

I don't know how many times have I heard these lines from someone:

"Love is a wonderful feeling. It should not be put to waste."

I never thought that in the face of grief, love will find a way to shine such a ray of light. At least not until four months ago. In that phone conversation, in between the sound of my sobs, I found the courage to say these words that I don't normally tell people.

HIM: Don't thank me for being by your side at this difficult time. At least not for now. You're in grief            and it's inappropriate to say thank you. (I don't get it but apparently he said it's more of a                    superstition)
ME: You don't want me to thank you? Why? You don't want me to hear say "Thank you". But what             do you want me to tell you? I love you?



Now, if God would give me another chance to say those words to the same person, I won't hesitate doing it again.

The daily grind. But life's better here!

"You know what that means? That only means that you're indispensable to us now. When we did not have you yet, things were difficult. And whenever you are not around, everyone gets worried. You make things easy for us."

Photo: Francis Malasig/ EPA/Yahoo Philippines News

I was going through my old journal from 2009 tonight and chanced upon a note I have written with the same date as today.

It was around this month that year when I was diagnosed with glaucoma and had been undergoing treatment since. When I first found out, I was both in shock an disbelief. I have known that ailment to be something "only adults get". When the diagnosis came out, I was just 24. It was like going through a triple whammy of some sorts that year; I've lost a five-year relationship, I was in between jobs and the treatment, though available, was somewhat costly and it will be a lifetime thing.

Added to it was the feeling of being scared and concerned of getting blind at a young age. Yes, even without the doctor telling me then, I knew it's going to be the worst case. It made me cry for some time. I have a lot of things left unaccomplished and plans I wanted to do. If I would be blind, I knew that's going to be the (possible) end.

But when I look at it now, Mama was right. God is still good. He has blessed me with a job that not only allowed me to help my family, but it sufficed my treatment, thus it lessened the burden of having someone else to shoulder it. And my doctor told me not too fear. He assured me that I will not be blind for as long as I adhere to my medication.

Since that day, it has always been my prayer that God would not allow my fear to happen. I have been hoping and praying that God would keep my eyesight fine and working well enough so that I can enjoy my long-awaited trip to Disneyland, clear enough for me to see how happy everyone will be and how dashing my future husband is going to be on our wedding (who, knows, God might just grant that too). But more importantly, I still want to be there well enough to raise my future kids and see them to be the person they're supposed to become.

And in every morning that I am able to see light when I wake up, I continue to be thankful, because it means I am well. I am still okay and God's fulfilling His promise.

"Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

And may I add to that last line, impossible is indeed nothing especially to those who believe in the power of their dreams.

The Philippine flag is about make it in the land of the ilustrados by 2014. How cool is that? Bring out the paella! Hasta pronto, España! (and it's the España in Europe and not in Manila!)

FROM THE BOOK VINCE'S LIFE BY VINCE TEVES:

"No matter who the girl is, no matter what the girl says she wants, she wants flowers."

FROM TABLE FOR TWO BY MARLA MINIANO:

“When you think about it, everything is fleeting. Every second of every minute of every hour. The race and the rush and the choices and the chances. The love that grazed your fingertips, possibilities that brushed past you on your way to work or play or save the world, a happy ending you may have believed in with a faith beyond anything you could have imagined you were capable of.”

"How many people find each other everyday? there are a thousand possibilities, a thousand ways that could've led her to someone. A thousand chances for her to meet a good guy, and to clear up some space for him in her life, and maybe fall in love with him."

FROM VINCES LIFE: GETTING OVER ANDREA BY VINCE TEVES:

"What’s love? It’s like Fireworks. You know how fireworks are always a surprise? It was like that. Everything was magical, and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it always did get better until I thought I would explode from joy. And then it was over.”

But if you think, those books are just all about the mushy things involving boys, puppy love and crushes, when I tried flipping back the pages of the first chick lit book I have read, Marla Miano's Every Girl's Guide to Boys, These lines caught my eyes when i reached the last page:

"People hurt you, and lie to you, and take you for granted, and treat you badly, but eventually you learn to forgive. You learn to forgive because you have your own shortcomings and imperfections. you learn to forgive because life is too short to be bitter and angry.

You learn to forgive because it is the only way you can move forward."

It is now I realized, I never thought how powerful such lines could be, it would eventually make sense in my life four years later.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues."

When I first learned about this viral photo of the policeman, PO1 Joselito Sevilla crying as caught by the lens of photojournalist Rem Zamora, the first thing that came in my head was the probability that he was hurt in the recent SONA rally. But upon reading the story behind the photo, I cannot help but give out words of admiration to this policeman. This situation broke the usual Pinoy notion, "Ang tunay na lalaki ay hindi umiiyak."

More than just praise for being courageous in publicly showing his emotion, he deserves commendation for being an epitome of what "maximum tolerance" should be. Subjecting himself to what policemen go through for the sake of responding to the call of duty is no easy task. If he happened to be another individual in blue uniform, that person might have just blown his top off and lose it. But PO1 Sevilla chose to show his frustration in a rather humane manner minus the need to physically  hurt anyone. While it is uncommon for a man in uniform to be emotional, he just proved the fact that regardless of occupation, one fact remains: that we are all humans and we do have our vulnerable side.

It is true that boys don't cry. But a real man is someone who is not afraid to show his real emotion – much more revealing it at a time of chaos and in front of a lot of ill-tempered people.

Reading between those lines, more than just him asking for forgiveness, I knew right then where it is leading: CLOSURE.

I will not go into details about what and how the whole thing came about or what the letter contained. All I knew is that it was something I have let go of years before. To hear from him say sorry was something I no longer thought will happen.

And I never expected to receive this letter hours before July 18 – today is exactly four and a half years since we broke up. I've always thought closure was just a word one reads in books. While it was the longest email I have ever written for him, I'd say it was also the best possible. It was an amicably peaceful exchange of words. There was no trace of hatred, no harsh words used and no discussion nor blaming about who committed what.

I just gave him what he asked for – FORGIVENESS. Just like what I have told him then, my life is short and people nowadays die young unexpectedly. It would be useless to waste that in anger and hatred. At least, if it happened that I were to die that night, I was able to do something right for someone for the last time. I simply knew what I had to do. I ended my reply by thanking him for the five years that we have been together, wished him well and advised him just two things: for him to love his wife and be a good father to his kids.

As I click"reply", I only knew of one two things: I am now free and I am absolutely happy. In time, my heart will welcome someone who deserves to have the space in it – for good.

I'm so afraid to love you
But more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life

Just before hitting the sheets last night, this shocking news caught my attention:

Photo taken from CBS News website. Read the story here.

1. JOIN A COMPANY THAT YOU WANT TO GROW WITH AND HELP BUILD. I found this advice years ago while I was reading the book Confessions of an Impatient Bride. Being employed in a law firm was something I never imagined I would try in my lifetime. But when the opportunity presented itself, I gave it a try. Just to find out that it was not luck but rather a huge blessing. And it was worth a shot. Bloom where you’re planted, as the Bible puts it and while it’s hard to figure out how to answer the question why, the thing is that God puts you where He wants you to be.
2. ESTABLISH RELATIONSHIPS. And this does not only limit to the romantic kind. Since that is currently absent in my agenda, I take delight in the company of colleagues and friends inside and outside of the workplace. Doing so enables me to find some sense of belonging compared to just being on my own all the time.
3. LEARN TO OBSERVE WORK-LIFE BALANCE. If there’s one thing (among other things) that I love about my job, it’s being able to put an equal measure between work, family and myself. In my past jobs, this balancing act is a failed science. I tend to bring home the stress of my career; it left the beneficial aspects to suffer (health, sleep, social life etc.) which is actually a big NO-NO. One of my friends (who happen to be a doctor) once summoned me with a funny but absolutely sound advice:"You only use the bedroom for two things: sleep and sex. Work is not included in the options." My job at present only consumes 9 hours of my day. Since my boss is from a foreign country, I follow their business hours (more of a day schedule just two hours ahead of the PST) so overtime work is not always necessary. I get the evenings free to spend time for (friendly) dates and weekends at home with my family.
4. HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE YOUR JOB. Work does not always mean doing it solely for profit and money. It’s also about giving back to others. In my case, because the company I work for have corporate social responsibility (CSR) initiatives every month; I get to openly participate to it whenever time permits.
5. LAUGHTER (AND MUSIC) IS DEFINITELY THE BEST MEDICINE. Whether you like it or not, sh*t happens. And in our case, it’s good that we’re a goofy bunch of minions at work so we’re able to neutralize the situation when sh*t hits the fan. Or in case I could not leave my desk for a breather, I just pop in and play music and I’m good to go.
6. START AND END EACH DAY WITH ONE THING – PRAYER. If there’s one habit I see to be meaningful, it would be this. Regardless of someone telling me to do it or not, I do it on my own means and decision. I always see it to spend at least 30 minutes of my day in church not only to pray for guidance as I start the day but to thank God for the outcome of the 9 hours that I performed my duties.

They're just like rain on a summer day.