Such is the theme of the Korean drama Go Back Couple. A story revolves between Choi Ban-do (played by Son Ho-jun) and Ma Jin-joo (played by Jang Na-ra), a married couple who, after feeling exhausted with the struggles in their married life ends up deciding to divorce each other. Tables turn when they realize that they returned to their 20 year-old identities and reunited with their college peers and the people who happen to be their “first love”. The question is will they choose to revise the life events in the past or decide to choose their life at the present and work on their marriage, embracing even the struggles associated with it.

When I found out that this drama will have a re-run on TV last month, I decided to watch it again even if I had already seen the original in Korean. I must admit that Go Back Couple somehow was a timely pick when I started with my penchant for Kdramas last year.

Honestly, I never thought this show will be such an eye opener for me. For years, despite having seen a number of colleagues walk down the aisle and even get invited to their weddings, I on the other hand evaded the idea of getting married. Blame it on experiencing a failed relationship, and going through dates with guys of the shitty kind (yes, they do exist!) but I never cared if I was the only “last (single) one standing” in a group where everyone is getting hitched or even if people around me have been openly expressing their concern for me regarding that area and its absence. For years, I’ve already stopped considering the idea of marriage due to a personal reason: Next to the fear of that I might fail to be the kind of wife I wanted myself to become, it is because I am afraid that I will not be able to emotionally survive the conflicts tied with married life. I am scared that I might be the first to call it quits and eventually, end up going through a failed marriage. 

However, Go Back Couple was a show that became somewhat instrumental in enlightening me about the realities of married life because that is the main focus of the Kdrama: to show the “realness” behind those wedding vows recited during one’s wedding day. It was the words transformed into actions and day-to-day situations.

One of the major things that I realized was that misunderstandings are an inevitable component of married life. It will happen at some point. Even one’s way of expressing affection can be misunderstood because couples have different ways of expressing their “love language”. There are times that what one wants to give isn’t exactly what their other half really needs to receive. One wants to do something with the hope of making their partner laugh but the other person only wants something rather simple like physical presence and receiving a hug of comfort.

It is for this reason why communication really does play a vital role in relationships. I know it’s already been mentioned countless times but after watching the scenes from Go Back Couple, I realized, regardless of gender, when you are in a romantic relationship, no one will ever be good at mind reading. Couples are not meant to be each other’s mind readers and not even being married can transform them into one. And it is in this part that the Biblical passage “ask and you shall receive” really make sense, because unless you ask, the answer will always be "No".

It also showed the importance of reaching out to your partner. One may have overlooked it, but having those "reality checks"  at the end of a long day is essential in a marriage . Conversations no matter how trivial or otherwise mean a lot. A particular scene that hit me was the one involving a grieving Ma Jin-joo being greeted by her seemingly-jolly husband. Unknown to Jin-joo, her husband was also carrying the grief of losing his mother-in-law but he just wants to hide his true emotions away from her. I guess it’s one of the reasons why “how was your day?” is a part of everyone’s language.  By asking such, and having those conversations, one won’t have that feeling of being left behind to struggle alone; especially if one’s better half might be struggling emotionally but it’s something his or her partner isn’t aware of.

Go Back Couple is a show that also emphasized the importance of showing affection to the people important to us, including our parents, and never taking moments for granted. There is truth in one of the posts that I saw on Facebook a long time ago: Love the people that God gave you, because He will need them back one day. When our loved one dies and leaves us, part of ourselves tend to die with them somehow. And it leaves a void that not even time or the existence of a new person can fill. 

The show ended with a heartwarming yet pleasant conclusion for the two characters (but still not without the bawling and searching for a box of Kleenex!). For me, the final thought I had in mind was that maybe, like in the case of Go Back Couple’s characters,  going back (not necessarily reversing the order of things) is just a short break offered to us in order to think things out, and to enlighten us with the difference of "then" and "now". That while the past might be good, what we have now can be offering us with something better. It's just that we fail to recognize them. But in the end, it all boils down to what we will choose. Much like what Frances Mayes mentioned, life offers you a thousand chances but all you have to do is take one.  

I know you're dying to ask, "So, what's your choice?" Well, I'd rather keep it to myself for now. But all I can assure you is this: Unlike Choi Ban-do and Ma Jin-joo, should I end up getting married, I won't consider throwing my wedding ring out of the window should I get into an argument with my husband. I certainly don't want to return to my 20-year old self. Simply because I don't want to be in that catastrophic period of my youth ever again.   

But a phone call from my writer-friend Kim asking me to come to Trabi Café that same afternoon made me set my original plans aside. At first I felt stressed receiving the last-minute invitation because I seriously have no idea as to the location. But when she told me that she brought a “plus one” she wanted me to meet, I just decided to accept the invitation and totally forget the coffee that I was fixing for myself just minutes before she called. 

I admit that despite having lived in Angono for more than three decades, the place is an unfamiliar territory for me. Apparently, the venue, Trabi Café is situated near Angono Private High School’s new site in Bgy. Pag-Asa Binangonan, Rizal which is just around 10 minutes away from Angono town proper. Last Sunday was the first time I visited the area so I was just able to locate the restaurant after asking for directions from two random strangers. 

The place offered a cozy ambience that is conducive especially for those who love doing work-related stuff in coffee shops. The relaxing view and its interiors give off the ideal vibe of a co-working space.

Given that I am a bibliophile, places adorned with books emit a certain euphoria to my brain and Trabi Café gave me just that. When I was still working in Eastwood City, I always wanted to buy the Anatomy 101 book that I’ve been seeing in Fully Booked. So when I saw that the restaurant have this complete set of 101 Crash Course series in their bookshelf, it sealed the deal for me; enough for me to say, take my money!

Next to the food and drinks that gave me bang for my buck, the best part of this bonding session was finally meeting another friend, Elizabeth Galit. If you have been reading my entries, I have mentioned her in this blog a number of times. She’s the author behind one of my favorite books, Right Where You Left Me. We both kept expressing the intention of  meeting each other personally even at the height of the lockdown last year so it was a great thing that we finally had the chance this time. Proof that some things are truly worth the wait!

Given that my friends Kim and Beth are both independent authors, part of our conversation included their books; as well as the inspiration behind the characters in Beth’s romance novel. And since we’re all ladies, what else would you expect us to include in our silly conversations but guys and romance. Pero siyempre, kung ano at sino ang pinag-uusapan ng mga Lakwatserang Titas of Rizal  will have to be confidential. What happens in Trabi, stays in Trabi. 

Now, if you’re asking me for an honest feedback, save for the delay in serving my order, the fact that the place is clean, served good food, with an IG-worthy interior and accommodating staff, I can definitely give it a thumbs-up. I just made sure to remember the location so I won’t have to do a bit of a walkathon next time. :-)

Such was in the case of The Secret Life of My Secretary. It’s the story of Do Min-ik (played by Kim Young Kwang), an intelligent boss of a media company and his secretary Jung Gal-hee (played by Jin Ki Joo). As the company director, Do Min-ik has been so used to relying on his secretary for almost everything. But he only hires a secretary for year before eventually firing them. After getting into an accident, he develops Prosopagnosia, a condition that can somehow hamper his day-to-day routine. This will leave him without a choice but to negotiate the employment terms of Gal-hee, with the hope that his illness will not not be discovered by anyone or else it will cause him to lose his position in the company. 

This drama is another show that has that light rom-com feels, as well as some old school element. While this involved the usual genre of office romance between the boss and his secretary, it’s worth mentioning that the show also touched the subject of disabilities and the plight of people in the working class. Issues that are a bit overlooked by society. 

It depicted the reality of how most people in the workplace struggle hard to gain some recognition. And even if appreciation can be given for free, its positive value to a person who deserves it is often neglected. We should learn acknowledge the loyalty of people around us regardless of the occupation or work that they do, especially if their contributions paved way for us to grow and succeed. When Min-ik suffered from prosopagnosia (or in layman’s terms, face blindness), Gal-hee continued to perform the duties as his secretary despite being told that she’s being fired. She helped Min-ik manage the struggle associated with his condition because he is unable to see the faces of people even if he encounters them everyday.

There were two particular words of wisdom that I find to be profound while watching The Secret Life of My Secretary. One was the advice of Gal-hee’s mom to her blind brother while he was crying as he brought up the subject of being bullied by other people due to his disability. To which their mom said:

“We are all disabled,  In our entire life, we will never encounter a perfect person. Whenever someone makes fun of you, you should be the  first to embrace their flaws, because they're pitiful people who aren't aware of their flaws.”

The other was from the liberated chaebol heiress Veronica Park. While there were times I felt annoyed with the way she says her name (she introduces herself to people as “Veronica Park, yeah!”. I never thought to hear these words about giving your best shot:

“If you tried your best for someone, you wouldn't say that you've done enough. You would say that you'll do everything you can.”

It made me think, now this girl might be liberated and rebellious but here she talked with sense! 

Photo: Nick Morrison/ Unsplash.com

 But how can you perform tasks if your internet connection is unstable? That is one of my dilemma the past few months. Poor internet service is one of the main reasons why my blog posts became fewer. In the end, despite having my plan upgraded to 10 Mbos, I decided to terminate my wireless broadband internet service because I realized that it’s useless to be paying costly monthly service fees that does not even commensurate the service I demanded.

But I discovered a few hacks that I got to use to update my blog and post entries once in a while. Practical ones that I didn’t even realized previously.

1. Draft scheduled posts using a laptop. I create my drafts using my laptop, including the date and time for each entry before using the usual copy-paste system of the content onto my blog’s blank space. In some instances, I use the “scheduled post” function of my blog so Blogger.com automatically publishes the blog entry at a given date and time without having to manually press the “publish” button.

2. WPS and and OTG USB are the key. I learned about WPS through my nephew Kyle when I was faced with an issue regarding the expired license of my MS Word software. The plan of having a genuine software installed on my laptop is still on my list but WPS was a helpful tool since it mirrors the function of MS Word and can also be used to see the document when I use my mobile phone.

And just when I thought my on-the-go (OTG) USB will just be an item to aid me with my Kdrama marathons, apparently, it became a trusty gadget especially since I used my mobile phone to access draft documents.

3. Utilize your phone’s mobile data. I admit that next to using my phone as a personal hotspot, using unused prepaid mobile data was something I discovered late. And this tech hack became useful for posting my blog entries. I just made sure that my draft entries have been well-proofread so I can save the MB’s of my mobile data allowance.

I’m still on the hunt for a better internet service provider. Next to using mobile internet connection, I decided to try relying on a prepaid WiFi connection. I’m one of those hoping that our internet connectivity issues can somehow be resolved as a lot are relying on it especially at this challenging time. But at least, I discovered a few hacks and still get to continue blogging every once in a while.