A Year of Plausible Possibilities

In 19 hours, another year is about to come to a close. How could time fly ever so swiftly? I was not keen about writing this post because things appear to be the same, at least with how I see it. Last year placed everyone in an unexpected turmoil with lives and the whole world itself upside down. While 2021 showed some changes, some things sadly remain the same. 


Earlier this afternoon, I sat inside a coffee shop. Next to the coffee and the acoustic rendition of Disney songs playing, I guess it helped that I was the lone customer inside the place. It gave me a chance to think and review what this year became -- and what good did it give me despite the reality that it still is a bit stagnant in some way. 


2021 showed me the reality of grieving in the new normal when I experienced loss with the death of my only surviving uncle due to COVID-19. This health crisis changed what grief and grieving are like, for it had a different definition and observance. I've always hoped that our family will be spared and won't contribute a single casualty, only to know that that won't be the case. And having gone through such a period when grief and the process were not the norms everyone was used to, I only hoped that we and everyone else wouldn't go through such a phase. And if there is one thing I am always thankful for among other things, it is the miracle that both my mom and I are able to live one day at a time, and are still well and healthy enough to carry on with our day-to-day lives and activities (but of course with caution).


But on the other hand, even if I had to go through a period of grapple, and just when I thought my 2021 planner contained nothing but a list of errands, seeing what I wrote on the pages made me realize that there still were things to be grateful. This year was the time when I witnessed milestones happen at home. I was also surprised with revelations that I never thought would still leave me with that feeling of kilig even if it took me years to confirm it. 


At one point, the situation loosened up, which allowed me to visit places I longed to go and meet the people that I missed terribly the past year. Becoming vaccinated last August after months of waiting showed some hope that we'll surely reach the light at the end of a dark tunnel.



Despite being vocal about my worries and fears on how "stagnant" my life appeared to be this year, I am still grateful for friends, who despite having their struggles, were still by my side and were supportive enough to push me to proceed with dreams and plans that were long overdue. While I worried over how static my life seemed and having an unproductive year, they assured me that just like my dreams, my fears and feelings are all valid, and I am not the only one going through it. Maybe, the Heavens also allowed this particular pause in my life to happen to give way to a meaningful possibility and fulfill one of my heart's desires and also for me to be able to devote time to it. I may not have accomplished much this year career-wise, but seeing how one of my "biggest" dreams brought to fruition during a tough time still left me fulfilled emotionally.  

I may only have less than a day before turning another page, but this year proved to be one thing: A lot of my hopes, dreams, and prayers can still be possible even if my life is on pause for an undisclosed reason. While I still do not know what 2022 has in store, I want to remain hopeful. Hopeful that just like how I imagined things when I completed my project this year, some things will improve and become better. That, I will also get to receive the wonderful and meaningful surprises that haven't arrived yet this year, and maybe it also includes some happy plot twists that I have been asking God for. 

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