I am writing this post with a cat sleeping near my feet.
Cats. Among the things that we both liked.
It was on this night last year, we decided to meet again -- sadly the last of the series. I was with him chatting and laughing over scoops of Häagen-Dazs. I can still remember that weird look he gave me upon realizing that I was to get three scoops of raspberry sorbet, when he asked if I was sure and how cute he smiled when he saw me cringe upon knowing that it doesn't taste good.
And how he kept smiling when I said it was true. That not all that glitters is gold.
This day brought me back to that night when he invited me to watch a movie afterwards and I said yes to it. The same night I was able to appreciate a genre I never tried to watch before; when I saw the child in him and when he told me that probably, if time comes and he will have kids, he'll be a cool dad just like the character in the movie; which caught me by surprise because I was trying to veer away from discussing even mentioning the subject of a relationship, getting married much more the topic of having kids and becoming a parent
Yes, it was the last time we went out. Some people told me I was stubborn for not following the path of romance when it was already presenting itself. I thought of it and I'll be honest that at one point, there is regret. But then, it is now, a year after that I learned my lesson:
‘What’ and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life."
And though I was a Cinderella in distress for missing my midnight curfew, at least there was one time I felt safe; for I was not traveling on my way home alone -- at least half way through the trip.
And it was one of the things I'd like to think of and replay in my head.
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