Twenty fucking twenty.

That is how this year is best described by many. Contrary to how people hoped this year to be, 2020 caused a number of challenge to all of us. This year made me realize how old I indeed am because I experienced how to live in a time of struggle and fear. The emergence of the COVID19 pandemic tested both my resilience and existence. The things I planned to do for this year either had to be set aside or worst, have to be scrapped for good. 

While I hoped to stay employed for two more years, the plan was cut short after the lockdown caused my employment to be terminated last April-- an effect of the current situation. For a moment, the news of becoming unemployed all of a sudden after being in the same job for more than eight years left me both in worry and fear. Sudden unemployment meant worrying about my own finances among other things. I always had this question of what will happen tomorrow and how I will start again kept running in my head every single day for nine months now. Despite wanting to get back to the groove again, such plan does not seem to work out.

But in a way, I try to look at the abrupt pause as a welcome respite. For someone like me who has always been used to busy and often stressful routines familiar to every employed person, to be part of the locked at home population enabled me to realize a number of things that I failed to recognize in the last eight years. For one, the pandemic allowed my body to recuperate from years of working in different jobs and working hours. A thing that I admit to have neglected just because my body was not sending me much warning that it’s needed. Eversince the lockdown (and its easing happened), my body has enjoyed the luxury of getting enough hours of sleep and being able to rewire and recharge.

I just try to look at a brighter side that a chapter of my life has concluded after eight long years and that something better will eventually arrive to replace what I have unexpectedly lost.

To me, 2020 was also a year of discovery and exploration. It was this year that I ventured in some endeavors that for years I never tried thinking I don’t have any skill or talent for it. And just when I thought I won’t be exposed to the Kdrama syndrome like some of my friends, I decided to give in and join the bandwagon of being “eaten” by a craze of interesting story plots, dreamy places to add to my lakwatsa list, never-before heard but sensible life lessons, unexplored life and kitchen hacks and not to forget dashing Kdrama oppas.   

And speaking of discovery, it was on this year I discovered a lot about people. It's nice to have asked a number of questions to some which made me get to know them more -- even if it meant asking the questions I should have asked some 18 years ago.

But the best thing this year and the situation associated with it had showed me was how God was ever present despite the tough situation. Sure the unemployment thing caused me to be afraid and worried, in the nine months of being in that situation, He never failed to make His presence felt by providing for our needs and keeping us afloat in this challenging time --to the point that I sometimes end up saying we don’t feel like we are struggling despite the pandemic. Having someone powerful up there looking after us and keeping us safe at a time of fear and worry was something to be thankful for and in some ways, be calm about. 

In a few hours, 2020 will soon be over. And as this old year leaves and gets over and done with, I hope that the unfortunate events do too. No more of a shit-filled year that was twenty fucking twenty. I hope and pray that as we welcome 2021, may this new year bring in some positive vibes, better things, hope and a wonderful chance for me to rise from the ashes and begin again. 

My unexpected fondness for Korean dramas was one of the effects that the COVID19 pandemic brought me. Since February of this year, I have seen a number of Kdramas of different genres which were from the advice of peers from my former office; some of which became personal favorites while there are also a number of titles I can recommend to friends who just started joining the Kdrama hype. Incidentally, I am closing this year with a heartwarming rom-com, Shopping King Louie.

In Shopping King Louie, Seo In-guk plays Kang Ji-Sung, who also goes by the nickname Louie, the heir of a chaebol chairman who resorts to online shopping as a means to divert his emotions from loneliness. After a plot to kill him causes him to develop temporary amnesia, he ends up in the care of Ko Bok-shil (portrayed by Nam Ji-hyun), a poor but kindhearted bumpkin who, despite growing up in the countryside and acquiring limited education, adapts well to challenges and situations associated with city life.

Prior to watching the show, I have read a few reactions online saying that Shopping King Louie is fun to watch. Well, I must admit that the comments of strangers did not disappoint. Next to teaching me a thing or two about the wonders of eCommerce and how online shopping influenced our lives, watching this drama at some point made me think about what it means to be truly happy. It made me recall a part of the lecture from an online course of Yale University called The Science of Well Being which I took at the height of the COVID19 lockdown. The course lecturer, Professor Laurie Santos stated a fact: “we live in a culture whose economy relies on us wanting awesome stuff (in order to be happy)”. She even raised an advice that rather than investing in material things, we should focus more on investing in experiences because it is less susceptible to social comparison. 

Christmas will be over in a few hours. Honestly, it felt a bit weird and different this year. I spent Christmas Eve reading through the December issue of Reader’s Digest and the article about the Kpop group BTS, drafting a scheduled post about Melting Me Softly, spending time in the kitchen helping Mama with the cooking, and spent the night binge watching and laughing to my heart’s content to another Kdrama, Shopping King Louie. I spent the wee hours of Christmas Day sending Christmas GIF greeting cards to friends over Messenger. 

I woke up to Christmas morning as if that day was ordinary. The usual sight of kids strolling clad in their Pamasko outfits was an elusive sight this year. Christmas became a “normal ordinary day” this year. I spent the morning watching Go Back Couple on TV while having my morning coffee, updating my planner on the last few days of the year, watching the bullet journal tutorials on Youtube, took a 20-minute nap in the afternoon and prepared to attend the 4 pm Mass. I had a quick trip to the supermarket with Mama and snacks at Bonchon after.

First time this year na naging weird ang tanawin sa mismong araw ng Pasko. If in the recent years, it's the ninongs and ninangs who are elusive, this year, it's both as kids aren't allowed to go out this year.

If there’s one thing I am thankful this Christmas, it’s that I am blessed with another year celebrating with Mama and despite financial woes, God continues to keep us afloat. Compared to the recent years when Christmas used to be festive and somewhat exhausting, this year felt strangely different. And the pandemic still is to blame for that. But like what I captioned in my Instagram post, Christmas will always be constant regardless of the situation we are in. 

Here’s to hoping that Christmas 2021 will be different -- a happy, festive one that is. 

Whenever I watch TV programs, science fiction is always the genre that is the least of my liking. But after watching the movie The Passengers on cable TV recently, I remembered that I have one sci-fi Kdrama that has been sitting in my external hard drive for months. That Kdrama was Melting Me Softly.

Melting Me Softly is the story of variety show producer Ma Dong-chan and TV show part-timer Go Mi-ran. Two ordinary people who will try to make amends in catching up with the time they lost after a supposed 24-hour science experiment where they were both part of fails. Both people wake up 20 years later, leaving them confused, in a daze and racing against time to adjust and cope with the changes they encounter in the present time. 

My author-friend Elizabeth told me that this Kdrama is another show that can give one a lot of feels -- and indeed it is. There was actually a moment while watching this drama that I felt it hard to process what I was feeling towards Dong-chan and his girlfriend Na Ha-young’s situation. Ha-young was left powerless when Dong-chan went missing; and despite being in a situation where there was no clear resolution as to what happened, she still waited for him to return -- even if it meant she will have to wait for two decades. But what made it all the more painful was when Dong-chan confessed that his feelings no longer aligned with hers. It made me realize that time indeed can change everything, and it’s not just limited to one’s physical features but even to the emotional aspect of their being as well.

Aside from the humor and a bit of the romantic side, this drama showed a good representation on the importance of family. I particularly found the episode where Dong-chan had this heart-to-heart conversation with his youngest sister where he assured her that he will always be his older brother and that she is still precious to him. But honestly, if there was one thing that really pushed me to watch the show aside from wanting to observe the genre, it’s only because of its lead actor, Ji chang-wook. Melting Me Softly would have been better if only the main characters were given a much-deserved conclusion to their story. I mean come on, Dong-chan and Mi-ran went through a lot of complications from that botched science experiment and a stabbing incident caused Mi-ran to be a cryonic human again for another three years so the ending that they both travelled together to the United States and did a travel vlog does not give justice to both the storyline and the characters. I guess viewers would have enjoyed it more if the story and the characters had a more interesting ending. 

In the months of being confined at home due to this present health crisis, I’ve seen a number of Kdrama of different genres and themes. From medical, legal to action but not suspense and dark-fantasy. Not until I got to pick the series Hotel del Luna.

Photo

Next to the drama’s light, colorful and funny representation of the inevitable, what made it interesting is that even the “supernatural guests” have their own backstory. Like the events that happened before they reached Hotel del Luna and what each will do before they leave the mysterious place. Some of those made me cry. Particularly the scene about Yoo-na's short-lived romance with the hotel's receptionist Hyun-joong, the father and son who despite being killed in an accident, decided to forgive the driver responsible for their deaths through the hotel’s dream call service to communicate to someone who is still living. The other one was the scene when Chan-sung brought his best friend, Sanchez to the hotel’s sky lounge during a lunar eclipse to break the sad news that the latter’s girlfriend, Veronica has died and to give him the opportunity to see her ghost and bid her goodbye for the last time.    

If there’s one thing that the drama imparted, it’s the reality that we will all really cease to exist one day. Much like what happened to all the characters in the story: the hotel staff left after having settled the unresolved issues that hindered them to leave the land of the living, Koo Chan-sung sent Jang Man-wol off as the hotel's last guest so she can proceed to her long-awaited journey to the afterlife, the Moon Tree died, and Hotel del Luna itself vanished at the emergence of the full moon. And while the conclusion to Man-wol and Chan-sung’s love story was an open-ended one, I just want to believe that they were reincarnated and met again in a different place, perhaps in New York as that was the last conversation between Sanchez and Chan-sung suggests. 

In my opinion, despite 90-minute run for each episode, this series is worth the time. And after seeing My Love from the Star’s Kim Soo-hyun making a cameo in Episode 16, I now understand why Kdrama fans want a second season (if not a sequel). I would love to see Man-wol and Chan-sung as human guests of another mystic hotel should that happen. 

I celebrated my birthday two weeks ago. At 36, I’d say I am getting close to midlife. It took me weeks before writing down this birthday post because this is a different year.

I remember telling Mama sometime this year that I am indeed getting older. I know I am because part of the daily grind is dealing with struggles and living during a critical and difficult time. If my parents had Martial Law, I, in this life have the COVID19 pandemic. Months ago, there would be moments that I would silently have questions in my head. It was at the height of this pandemic when I would ask myself two things:

Magiging COVID19 victim din ba ako? and will I still be alive to reach my birthday this year.

I know it’s morbid. But at the same time, that’s reality. I know you’ll think I’m that paranoid but these thoughts reached to a point when just a month before my birthday, rather than thinking of how to celebrate that day, I found myself drafting an Executor’s Dossier (a thing I learned from working in a law firm) which contained a list of my online accounts and passwords and my instructions concerning those should the inevitable happen. It might be creepy for some, but to me, given that we are dealing and living at a time of worry, fear and uncertainty, that would be one less thing for me and my family to worry about.

Maybe, getting older was also a thing to blame that I did not really aim at the usual celebrations with a blast. Next to spending some quiet time visiting Papa and my grandparents at the nearby memorial park, I just went on to have my morning coffee at Starbucks. That was the only thing I’d even tell  Mama when she asked about my birthday plans.

Given that I still have 22 pending Kdramas on my device at home, I decided to use the fishbowl method to pick what to watch next. I was also hoping that by doing so, I could move on to Ji Chang-wook's charm after watching Suspicious Partner.

But it appears that the Universe is sabotaging my strategy because I ended up picking another show where he was part of. The action Kdrama The K2. I could have just returned that to the fishbowl but then, it would be cheating so despite not knowing what I'll be getting from it, I decided to go ahead and watch.

K2 tells the story of Kim Je-Ha played by Ji Chang-wook, a mercenary soldier from Iraq who flees to South Korea as a fugitive after being framed up and accused of killing his lover, Rania. As he tries to uncover the truth and discover the person responsible for her death, Je-ha crosses paths with Choi Yoo Jin, the ambitious eldest daughter of a chaebol family who aspires to become the country's first lady. He becomes part of JSS Security and is eventually assigned to serve as a bodyguard for Go An-na (played by Im Yoon-ah), the illegitimate daughter of Yoo Jin's husband and presidential candidate Jang Se-joon. While the two characters develop feelings and eventually fall in love, Je-ha becomes torn between choosing to work with his ally to give justice for Rania's death and protecting his newfound love at all costs.

When I  started this blog around 12 years ago, gaining readers or followers was the least of my aims. To me, this platform was a mere space for me to practice my writing skills and just to serve as an outlet to release thoughts in my head and pent-up emotions from the stress of daily life. I started this blog when I was just 23; trying to sail through the troubled waters of freelancing, job-hopping, and navigating through my relationship with my then-boyfriend.

When this blog came to be, I was someone searching for my place under the sun.

But as time passed, I guess there was also something good with writing down my thoughts for I got to encounter people, only virtually. Some of them even became my friends, among them was this lady named Diane. The one behind the blog Diane Wants to Write, she discovered my blog by accident and has since became one of the silent readers. And while blogging was one of the things we share in common, there was another thing: Kdramas

It's just that I was a late bloomer to join the bandwagon. When Crash Landing on You became a hit early this year, I remember being the one almost left behind. I just hopped in after my officemates convinced me that it was worth my time and bedtime habit. I would find out later on that I would share the same penchant for this series with Diane who was also smitten by the male lead Hyun Bin (aka Ang Pambansang Asawa because a lot of ladies are head-over-heels with him!).

The topic of personally meeting up was among our plans back then until COVID19 and the community quarantine happened. But despite being at home, we continued with our Kdrama convos over Instagram. Around May this year, this little parcel came as a surprise in the middle of a stressful and scary period. And as this was something I was not expecting, a lot of thoughts were running in my head even before I got this from the delivery guy -- from the usual quarterly statement that I've been used to receiving from my bank, to even a subpoena from the trial court (yes, may ganong idea sa utak ko that time. Crazy but true.)

The parcel contained the merchandise that we often talked about. I honestly forgot about it because I've settled on the fact that there won't be any other way for me to receive those because of the restrictions brought about by the pandemic. But lo and behold, these cute little standees made its way to my home and eventually, my desk. Diane was that generous because there were three of those items together with a cute handwritten note. Talk about long-distance deliveries with a personal touch.

I know this blog entry is long overdue. But I still went on to write about it as a reminder of how strangers and friends can bring some comfort (even kilig) during this scary, difficult, and uncertain time. Especially if you get to share something in common -- fangirling over Kdramas and the oppas included!

Oh, if you're looking for some inspiration and have an eye for beautiful things, do check out Diane's blog, Diane Wants to Write or you can follow her on Instagram and be amazed by her photography and product styling skills! 

Image

Suspicious Partner was just a random pick when I went through the downloaded dramas on my device a few weeks back. I was hesitant to watch it at first because the series seem too lengthy given that it has 40 episodes . But I still decided to give it a go because of its legal genre.

A Kdrama from 2017, Suspicious Partner tells the story of aspiring lawyer Eun Bong-hee (played by Nam Ji-hyun), who meets stern prosecutor turned private lawyer Noh Ji-wook (played by Ji Chang-wook). After a not-so-favorable first impression during a rush-hour commute in a subway train, Bong-hee and Ji-wook's paths cross again when she becomes an intern in the Sunho District Prosecutor's Office -- the same office where Ji-wook works as a prosecutor. What happens when Bong Hee becomes accused of allegedly murdering her cheating ex-boyfriend and she gets prosecuted by her immediate boss is just the start of the crime-solving events that involved a number of theories, people and clues in order to catch the real culprit and prove one person's innocence. 

I must admit that the main reason why I  chose to watch this drama is primarily because of my curiosity about Ji Chang-wook. I have only known him to be a celebrity endorser of the Filipino clothing brand Bench (and has been used to seeing his face daily in one of the boutique's branches in a mall near my former office) but I only decided to watch his Kdramas just now. And while worrying about my patience easily getting burned down given that the drama has 40 episodes, I must say that this one was worth all the puyat and my patience.

Image

Compared to her previous role in another Kdrama that I saw months back, 100 Days My Prince, I enjoyed watching Nam Ji-hyun play the role of Eun Bong-hee in Suspicious Partner. From her being a prosecutor's intern to how she fought and struggled to prove her innocence  to redeem herself (with the help of Ji-wook) and eventually regain her rightful role of a full-fledged lawyer. And speaking of redemption, there was another scene in the drama that involved an event in the past related to the lives of the two main characters that I would confess, tugged a space in my heart.  

Given that the story has the element of legal drama, I was able to relate to the flow of the story. I guess my previous job being in the legal profession was also helpful. Next to just realizing that prosecutors could also be crush-worthy persons of authority, the show pushed my mind to ask thought-provoking questions (mostly who, why, and what) and even make assumptions just to challenge if what I was thinking about the scenario was right. Another thing that made this show interesting (at least for me) was it tackled another query I've once had in mind. A "what if" that, as shown in the story, happens to be one of the biggest dilemmas for those in the practice of law -- what if the one you acquitted was indeed guilty and that the one you convicted was really innocent. And while I was provided with an answer, it showed me that the search for truth, as well as the act of proving someone's innocence or guilt could be a complicated, exhausting process.

The presence of supporting characters in the form of Noh Ji-wook's colleagues also provided a good balance of comedy in the story. And while there's also an angle of a past love in the show, you won't find the character of Kwon Na-ra as the prosecutor ex-girlfriend intimidating compared to how exes are portrayed in other Kdramas.

It also gave me a glimpse and an answer to one long withstanding silly question that I've always had even when I was still an employee: how two lawyers (or those in the legal profession) go through romantic arguments and quarrels. But this show won't be complete as a rom-com drama without the romantic scenes between Prosecutor Noh and Attorney Eun. Talk about getting some dose of endorphins to counter all those stressful scenes that involved some crimes discussed during the whole series. I didn't even recognize the age gap between these two characters because they were able to execute the role of a couple so well. The ending to their story was simple yet, I still found it satisfying.

If you're asking me if I would recommend this show to friends for their binge-watching sessions, despite that this might be a lengthy one, I would say yes. If you're looking for some feel-good legal rom-com to watch, try adding Suspicious Partner to your list. Take it from me, you'd get just the right mix of laughter, a bit of drama, an ample amount of suspense, and some dose of kilig from this show.

Throughout this quarantine period, there had been a few Korean dramas that I have watched more than once because I enjoyed the story the first time. One of which is the romantic comedy Touch Your Heart. The show stars Lee Dong-wook and Yoo In-na who happens to be the second lead couple, Grim Reaper and Sunny in the 2016 Kdrama Goblin.

While I was unable to see them portray their respective roles in Goblin, I decided to give this one a go mainly because I found the trailer interesting. In Touch Your Heart, Yoo In-na plays as an actress named Oh Yoon-seo. After being involved in a drug scandal, she hopes to redeem her top star status by making a comeback as a female lead in another drama. But to do so, she must first get some work experience by serving as a legal secretary at a law firm. It is there she meets the workaholic and aloof lawyer, Kwon Jung-rok. Just when she's firm with just acquiring some field experience for her role, love unexpectedly blooms between her and her immediate boss.

I must say that I could somewhat relate to the plot of the story especially with Yoo In-na's role as a legal secretary as I also ventured in the same career before going into this unexpected hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic. More than just a glimpse of life inside the confines of a court, the law practice, and reuniting with legal jargon, what made me enjoy watching this drama was the element of romance (of course). But specifically, I liked how the show was able to convey the concept of office romance between two people from obviously different social status in such a delightful way. I confess, there were moments when I have to lock the door of my bedroom because I was squealing in giddy delight whenever there are kilig moments involving the two characters.

But the show is not just all about all that lovey-dovey stuff. It also included some elements of suspense and conflict especially the ones that involved evidence gathering during those crime-solving scenarios. This rom-com also showed some of the pros and cons, the ups and downs that are part of romantic relationships, and how vital compromise is for a couple to sail through the rough patch and make a relationship work. 

The episode ends with Yoon-seo making a successful comeback and finally deciding to make her relationship with Kwon Jung-rok known to the public. While the ending of Touch Your Heart is simple and not as fireworks-worthy as I hoped it would, I must say it was still worth watching. 

I would recommend it to friends who are after feel-good, lighthearted Kdramas to binge-watch on Friday nights. Who knows they might end up wanting to have someone like Kwon Jung-rok in their lives after finishing the series, as in #SanaAll.