Archive for 2021

In 19 hours, another year is about to come to a close. How could time fly ever so swiftly? I was not keen about writing this post because things appear to be the same, at least with how I see it. Last year placed everyone in an unexpected turmoil with lives and the whole world itself upside down. While 2021 showed some changes, some things sadly remain the same.

Earlier this afternoon, I sat inside a coffee shop. Next to the coffee and the acoustic rendition of Disney songs playing, I guess it helped that I was the lone customer inside the place. It gave me a chance to think and review what this year became -- and what good did it give me despite the reality that it still is a bit stagnant in some way.

2021 showed me the reality of grieving in the new normal when I experienced loss with the death of my only surviving uncle due to COVID-19. This health crisis changed what grief and grieving are like, for it had a different definition and observance. I've always hoped that our family will be spared and won't contribute a single casualty, only to know that that won't be the case. And having gone through such a period when grief and the process were not the norms everyone was used to, I only hoped that we and everyone else wouldn't go through such a phase. And if there is one thing I am always thankful for among other things, it is the miracle that both my mom and I are able to live one day at a time, and are still well and healthy enough to carry on with our day-to-day lives and activities (but of course with caution).

But on the other hand, even if I had to go through a period of grapple, and just when I thought my 2021 planner contained nothing but a list of errands, seeing what I wrote on the pages made me realize that there still were things to be grateful. This year was the time when I witnessed milestones happen at home. I was also surprised with revelations that I never thought would still leave me with that feeling of kilig even if it took me years to confirm it.

At one point, the situation loosened up, which allowed me to visit places I longed to go and meet the people that I missed terribly the past year. Becoming vaccinated last August after months of waiting showed some hope that we'll surely reach the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

Despite being vocal about my worries and fears on how "stagnant" my life appeared to be this year, I am still grateful for friends, who despite having their struggles, were still by my side and were supportive enough to push me to proceed with dreams and plans that were long overdue. While I worried over how static my life seemed and having an unproductive year, they assured me that just like my dreams, my fears and feelings are all valid, and I am not the only one going through it. Maybe, the Heavens also allowed this particular pause in my life to happen to give way to a meaningful possibility and fulfill one of my heart's desires and also for me to be able to devote time to it. I may not have accomplished much this year career-wise, but seeing how one of my "biggest" dreams brought to fruition during a tough time still left me fulfilled emotionally.

I may only have less than a day before turning another page, but this year proved to be one thing: A lot of my hopes, dreams, and prayers can still be possible even if my life is on pause for an undisclosed reason. While I still do not know what 2022 has in store, I want to remain hopeful. Hopeful that just like how I imagined things when I completed my project this year, some things will improve and become better. That, I will also get to receive the wonderful and meaningful surprises that haven't arrived yet this year, and maybe it also includes some happy plot twists that I have been asking God for.

Today marks the first Sunday of Advent, and to Catholics, it only means that there is just a few weeks before Christmas. I am supposed to attend the Mass this afternoon. However, my body clock isn't cooperating with me, and causing me sleep deprived. It left me feeling under the weather this morning so, I might end up watching the livestream later at 6pm in my room.

And since I don't feel like leaving the house, I decided to fix my stiff and came across an old list in my 2019 BDJ planner. In one of the pages was a checklist with the title 50 Things To Do Before You Turn 50 which I found from the Readers Digest website. I thought of writing it back then despite I already have my bucketlist because unlike the former, this list will push me to do the items within a deadline which is before hitting the age of 50.

I just tweaked a few in the list to make it applicable to my life here in the Philippines (and I guess I'll be spending the rest of my life in this country). Funny but as I read through the 50-item list, I realized, I had already ticked a number of those even before this article even came on line.

So, what does that list contain? Read further to find out.

Use your passport.
Cry through a movie.
Write a will.
Get therapy.
Make a retirement plan.
Fall in love.
Write a journal.
Get a pet.
Pay off your credit cards.
Look up an ex.
Volunteer at a homeless shelter.
Go to the library.
Visit a national park.
Take a class.
Volunteer during an election.
Forgive someone.
Plant a garden.
Climb the tallest mountain in your country.
Be alone.
Play an instrument.
Eat something you hate.
Get an adrenaline rush.
Write a poem.
Make a huge mistake.
Go on a ride-along with a police officer.
Write a love letter.
Go on an estate sale.
Check your credit report.
Organize your closet.
Make a budget.
Learn how to make a meal using whatever's in the fridge.
Go to a local fair.
Watch a musical.
Do community theater.
Take your kid on a date.
Interview an elderly person.
Get certified in CPR.
Master the art of apologizing.
Become a Google ninja.
Power nap on the regular.
Never forget someone's name again.
Learn to recognize poisonous plants.
Learn a new language.
Try a different job.
Go scuba diving.
Join a sports league.
Get to a healthy weight.
Go apple picking.
Go fishing.
Attend a music festival.

One look and you may think this list is overwhelming. But as you tick off and complete an item, nothing beats the feeling of accomplishment and having conquered a dare that you once thought could be possible. As for me, my list is still quite long, I know and I have 13 years left before the deadline for everything. But for now, as I live one day at a time, I try to do whatever is one the list that I am allowed to accomplish during the moment. Time will come that before I even knew it, I'll only have one item left before I can proudly say, mission complete.

To the 17 year-old Glaiza,

I know right now, you're still trying to look for your place in the sun, and let me tell you that that's okay. I know it's nerve-wracking, but life is not a race. And I just hope that what you'll read from this point forward will be helpful not just today as you go through this phase, but more so as you get older.

When things become harsh and grueling, know that it's fine to live one day at a time. If you start to feel being left behind by the milestones of people around you, remember that we all have "timezones" that operate differently in each stage in our lives.

Just like feelings, your dreams are valid. Never be scared to pursue your passion because aspirations do not have expiration dates. And when you start to get bothered by fear and hesitation, always remember one thing: the voice that tells you that you can't do something is always lying!

Spend time with your parents. Make time for them and appreciate the moments you have with them. They are among the precious ones God gave you, and He will need them back one day.

"Thank you" and "I'm sorry" may just be two short and simple words. But they mean a lot when you say it right and mean it.

In times of argument, learn to listen. Do it not to reply but to understand.

It's hard to forget the people who broke and hurt you. But remember to acknowledge the ones who helped you rise up and begin again when you were ready to hit rock bottom.

Do not shortchange people when it comes to three things: love, appreciation, and respect.

Put a value on yourself and your well-being. Do not hesitate to ditch and let go of things, situations, or even people when they no longer serve their purpose or add meaning to your life.

Heartaches are an inevitable component of love. But as long as you believe in love, you will find it. For the right reason, at the appropriate season and in the right person.

Prioritize your own happiness. It is not a selfish act to do so. Make a choice not because it is what society or those around you is pressuring you to do. But because it is something that you know deep within your soul that makes you happy.

Lastly, do not forget to pray. Those around you may be busy accomplishing day-to-day matters and may be unable to make time to hear you out, but God has an open door policy. He always listens.

Aim for the best,

Your 37 Year-Old Self

I first tried digital detoxification years ago where I would unplug and stay away from social media for an amount of time for different reasons. My first attempt was only for seven days normally in observance of Holy Week. Then, back in 2018, after going through heartbreak, I decided to disappear from my social media accounts for a month. It was the longest period of detoxification I did to date. While I would get a surprising look from other people, saying they can't do it, apparently for me, digital detox was something I seemed to have mastered.

This year, I decided to do it again. As of this writing, I've stopped using Facebook for 15 days and am planning to do so for a reason -- I preferred to prioritize peace of mind and my mental health instead of reading, seeing and hearing other people's toxic shit.

I decided to be quiet and stay away from social media just to save my sanity. Next to the feeling of uncertainty that this ongoing lockdown situation is giving me, I noticed that there would be days when I would feel fed up and tired even after just spending minutes of browsing my newsfeed. I also observed I became moody and more masungit to people, and that's not even due to hormones or PMS.

And no one had to call me out for those mood changes because I was quick to pinpoint the culprit myself: little by little, I'm already experiencing mental and emotional exhaustion and it's all because of the negativity I am seeing and reading both on TV and social media.

For a long time, Facebook has become a breeding ground not just of trolls and hatred, but lately, it has also transformed its space to nothing but a place of unhealthy, toxic conversations. Even the ones that seem "intellectual reasons" end up to actually be "toxic opinions." And even if I am not engaging on useless arguments, just reading through posts of people (including friends) has left me feeling tired and irked. It was that unpleasant that I reached a decision to just to run away from the whole platform indefinitely if that would do my mind something good.

I had to choose between staying at a breeding ground of trolls and people with toxic opinions versus finding a breathing space to rest my mind and save my mental and emotional state.

I chose the latter, no questions asked.

I'd rather opt for a clear and relaxed mind than read or hear a heated argument where people don't have the heart to concede out of pride, entitlement and wanting to be right because they always want to be even.

But unlike the past when I completely deactivated my account, this time, I left it as is. I might appear online on my profile, but that was just for the sole purpose of being able to use my Messenger app and post on Instagram once in a while. These days, I would either be checking out accounts related to arts, crafts and dance on Instagram and listen to my playlist on Spotify as I do other things on my list. I would check Messenger once in a while, but I filter which messages to reply to, regardless if those are coming from friends or even family members. If I don't feel that a reply is necessary, by all means, I leave it as it is. Just read it, replying is optional.

If there's a good thing that has happened (and continues to happen) in the two weeks that I unplugged, it's that I feel more relaxed and productive. I am still unsure when I would return on Facebook after my post last September 23, but the zen of being offline is something I prefer to embrace for now.

Photo: Mika Baumeister/ Unsplash.com

If there is one thing that I consider to be the highlight of this month, it is one event that I didn't even think of happening sooner: I finally received that long-awaited COVID-19 vaccine.

I am just like other people; patiently waiting for their turn to finally get that jab and somehow be protected against a disease that has been crippling a country and an economy. But with the turn of events, I confess that I was already starting to lose hope to finally have my turn and be vaccinated this year (or at least, by November which happens to be my birth month.)

The (Long Awaited) Day

It was my cousin Jovelle who informed me that our mayor just announced via Facebook that a quick substitution list will be implemented because of the low turnout of scheduled individuals to be vaccinated last Tuesday, August 3. Our mayor likewise informed that the said approach will prioritize those belonging to A1 to A3 categories (medical frontliners, senior citizens, and those with comorbidities). While my mom and my cousin pushed me to come to the designated vaccination center, and despite that I am qualified (a part of those under A3), I was adamant at first because I was thinking, given that it was just announced, people will surely flock to the venue and I might not be able to get in line to get the vaccine.

But at the back of my head, I kept hearing "let's just give it a try." So armed with the two documents required for those under A3, I went to the venue at around 1:45 pm. My other cousin Joice happened to be there so we were buddies in the whole process of falling in line, waiting, until we were finally ushered to the area where we filled out the forms before getting vaccinated.

After going through the whole process of signing some paperwork, the orientation which advised us of the possible side effects post-vaccination and what we can and cannot do after getting vaccinated, we were informed that the vaccine we're about to receive was Janssen, a brand from Johnson & Johnson. Somehow, I felt relieved. It's a single-dose vaccine which is something my mom also hoped I would get because it meant that I won't need to go back for a second shot. After what has been six hours, we were all done and cleared to go home at 8 pm.

The Aftermath: Mild or Wild?

Now I know, the next thing you're about to ask is what happened next. Before getting the shot, we were informed of the possible side effects that come with the vaccine. As for me, I felt fine the first two hours. It's by 10 pm of that same day when things started to "get real." The next part of this post is not meant to scare you but more to inform you of what happened to me after getting the shot because while side effects are normal, it varies from person to person. What could be mild side effects to you may not apply to me. Just a clear note however, that in case of serious side effects, it is best to see your doctor or perhaps proceed to the nearest hospital for immediate medical attention.

Next to the slight pain in my arm, the other common side effect I experienced was headache. I've always known headaches so I thought that I could just sleep it off without taking anything to relieve it. But I was wrong. This time, the headache lasted throughout the night until the morning of Wednesday, August 4. By 6:30 am, I realized I can't take the pain any longer so I popped a paracetamol and that's the only time I was able to finally sleep -- until 11 am.

When I woke around lunchtime, it was then I realized that something else isn't right. I woke up with swollen eyelids and itchy rashes on my forehead -- signs that I am going through a rare yet serious side effect of the vaccine: an allergic reaction. I immediately took an antihistamine to control it, but it was also a good thing that my brother's friend was visiting us at home that day. His girlfriend (who happened to be my former schoolmate) is a doctor and was able to see me through video call. She immediately told me to take another type of antihistamine, diphenhydramine hydrochloride which can control the allergy faster. I am familiar with the said drug because it was the same medication that was administered to me three years ago when I was rushed to the ER due to a severe allergic reaction.

It would be helpful to keep track of your symptoms after receiving the vaccine just like I did. If you can also write down when you felt it, it would also be better. I decided to keep track of the side effects I experienced in case the worst thing happens and I might need to be rushed to the ER. At least the doctor will have all the details he/she might need.

Blame it on the body ache, the discomfort of the allergic reaction, and the medicines I took to control the side effects, (I was also on paracetamol together with the antihistamine because I developed a low-grade fever on Wednesday night), I was either the character Ma Dong-chan from Melting Me Softly when he received an experimental vaccine, or, just like what I jokingly told my friend Miguel, I felt like I'm someone pregnant during the first trimester because I only did one thing the whole time: SLEEP! And he was right when he once told me that you will need a day or two to rest and recover from the side effects of the vaccine because it's also during that period that your immune system is trying to do its work.

I continued to document those aches and pains and anything else that I noticed until August 5. The nurse told us during the orientation that the side effects could be felt for 3 days. It's kind of odd that while I felt like shit during the first day, I woke up feeling better on the morning of August 5 as if nothing life-threatening happened the day before. I was able to move around and do some chores, but I was still careful not to overdo it. And while I got to leave the house to do some errands in preparation for another round of stricter lockdown the following day, those tasks were really quick and I didn't leave the house unaccompanied.

The Questions

When my mom saw how bad the side effects of the vaccine were on me, I remember telling her not to ask me if I am regretting my decision to get vaccinated. Despite the inconvenience and the fact that the side effects rendered me "incapable" for a day, I have no regrets about getting that jab over and done with. Despite what I went through, at least, I can finally breathe some sigh of relief knowing that I am protected against an invisible enemy because one of the things I was also fearing about is that the comorbidity that I have makes me an easy target for COVID-19. I'm just trying to save myself from having to be rushed to the hospital in such a critical time as this or even worse, having to be intubated if I get to be unlucky and be infected.

As to the things I can share with for those who are waiting to get their dose of the vaccine, there are a few things I can still recall. These were the things advised to us by the nurse who gave the orientation before we received the vaccine:

It's okay to take a bath even after getting the shot (especially because you're exposed to people outside while waiting for your turn!)
Never skip your maintenance medications (even for a day) just because you just got vaccinated.
Refrain from drinking alcoholic beverages for a month. The reason? Alcohol weakens the component of the vaccine (yes, the nurse explained that to us during the orientation)
If you can, refrain from taking caffeinated drinks for at least three days for the same reason as stated with alcoholic drinks.
Try to avoid food or substances that can trigger an allergic reaction after getting vaccinated. It is something that I am now mindful of because I remembered that right after getting vaccinated, Joice and I treated ourselves to fried chicken(!) and that may have contributed to the allergic reaction that I experienced hours later. So, I might try to abstain from those for at least two days in the future, just to be on the safe side.

Today is day 3 and I'm happy to say that I continue to feel better. If you are still apprehensive to get yourself vaccinated, I suggest you think it through. COVID-19 is a serious threat and is continuing to be so. And since we don't have any cure yet, a vaccine is our only hope, and is the next best thing we can have to protect both ourselves and those around us. While I can't be a responsible taxpayer just yet this time, I guess to be responsible for my own safety and that of those around me is the next best thing that I can do. And come to think of it, August is here which means the "ber" months will soon arrive. For sure you still want to celebrate more Christmas Days with your loved ones, right? If that's not a valid reason for you to get vaccinated and be responsible, I don't know what else will.

In my recent post, I mentioned Kim and Beth's plans of bringing me to an out-of-town trip. We were supposed to go to Tagaytay to get some RnR and to help me find some inspiration for my writing project which I am trying to finish. But the said trip became a botched plan as Taal Volcano's eruption is imminent and with the current environment in the area, the ash and volcanic particles aren't healthy especially for travelers. We did not want to risk it so we thought of revising our plans instead.

Our option B was to spend the day traveling to Antipolo and Tanay. But the rainy weather during the last few days made us think if it would be a feasible plan. We spent Tuesday until Friday thinking where and what to do until we came to a final verdict of traveling to the nearest town instead: Antipolo to visit Pintô Art Museum.

I've known about the Pintô Art Museum since I've seen it featured on TV and online countless times. But aside from media exposure, another thing that made me familiar with this art space is its owner, Dr, Joven Cuanang. I first met him in the late 1990s through one of our family friends. He was my former doctor when my parents were advised to bring me to a neurologist because I've been experiencing muscle weakness and other symptoms that couldn't be properly identified and diagnosed even if I have been through several different doctors from different hospitals.

We arrived at the museum at around 10:30 in the morning. There are several visitors because it was a Sunday. But there are staff and marshalls to oversee the observance of safety protocols. Before entering the premises, our temperatures were taken and we were asked to sign a health declaration form through a downloadable QR code. After paying the corresponding entrance fee (priced at 250 pesos per head but I paid mine for 200 pesos since I have my PWD ID card) we were given a map and a paper that states their current museum policies. There’s a baggage counter at the entrance for visitors who wish to leave their bags (as bringing backpacks are discouraged to prevent accidentally knocking off or damaging the artworks).

It was my first time visiting Pintô Art Museum and I was caught in awe. I never thought my former doctor owns a sprawling property in the hills of Antipolo that is filled with anything and everything related to visual arts! Founded in 2010, it aimed to publicly exhibit the art collections owned by Dr. Cuanang. Beth, Kim, and I were able to check out some artworks found in Galleries 1 to 7.

An obligatory selfie! For some reason, this painting seemed significant for me (at least) so this was the very first photo on my camera roll on the day of our visit. The museum adheres to government-mandated safety protocols including wearing face masks even when visitors take photos.

Photo: Kim Derla

While I am not really a huge fan of paintings and art installations, a visit to Pintô Art Museum somewhat gave me a different perspective about art -- or at least in the way of appreciating it. Just a fair, early warning though that the tour of the vicinity itself will consume your energy because aside from taking photos and getting amazed will all the publicly exhibited artworks, you will do a lot of legwork. Getting from one gallery to another entails a lot of walking, climbing up, and getting down the stairs so it is really advisable to wear comfortable clothing including your trusty sneakers. And don’t forget to bring a towel and a bottle of water so you can keep yourself hydrated. I even packed an extra shirt inside my bag thinking I just "might" need it and it proved to be a lifesaver move!

Photo: Kim Derla

I decided to have a photo taken on this spot because this screams the reality that everyone has been feeling from a shit-filled pandemic-ruled year! While I may not be too vocal about it, I really am bored (or even tired) with all things that were ruined by the lockdown and COVID19 pandemic. I want to believe that when Kim and Beth said a reason they wanted to push with this trip is that they wanted me to unwind, they really meant it. Visiting a new place in this time when the situation tends to stress the hell out of my mind and even screw my emotions proved to do something good. It's like breathing a fresh, energizing type of air after being confined in one place for more than a year. I may not be an art enthusiast but seeing artworks in different forms, colors and genres felt invigorating to the mind.

Now, I know you're asking what are the works that caught my attention after touring the place for almost two hours. Check out the next few photos!

This piece made me think of our medical frontliners upon the mention of the word "interns".

Yes, your brain can explode and go haywire from prolonged (over)use. So you should also exercise caution and be mindful of doing things in moderation.

Die-cast cars! A thing kids of the 80s and 90s would totally relate to! This was just a portion of the room that housed the work of Nilo Ilarde that contained 22,425 of these miniature toys!

An" interesting but kind of complicated" artwork by Mark Justiniani as I captioned it on my IG account. I was actually having second thoughts about entering this dark room and see what was inside. But after contemplating for nearly five minutes, I decided to give in and check it out. And it was worth the curiosity. I just stayed in the room for a few minutes because I suffer from mild acrophobia (fear of heights) making it impossible for me to maximize the 10-minute per visitor viewing limit for this particular work. But standing at the edge of the platform reminded me of one of the chapters from my project, On Top of the World.

Photo: Kim Derla

A wacky photo to wrap up our weekend adventure. We left the museum around lunchtime but I still hope to return to this place eventually as we still have a few galleries left unexplored. I was also hoping to meet Dr. Cuanang (the first in 25 years since I last saw him in 1996), but it was an almost but not quite kind of moment. I saw him yesterday, but he was in a meeting with a group of people. So maybe, just maybe, I will really need to go back. Anyway, my third mantra is that for every first you've missed, there's always a second chance. I'm just happy to have joined Kim and Beth on this trip because I was really able to unwind and mentally rewire from all the stresses of the past year, and would really love to do it with them again!

Pintô Art Museum

Sierra Madre St, Grand Heights Subdivision

Antipolo, 1870 Rizal

Operating Schedule:

Tuesday to Sunday 10:00 am to 6:00 pm. (Closed on Mondays)

The last time I went on a bonding session with my friends Kim and Beth happened seven months ago. Despite regularly catching up with each other via Facebook and Messenger, we all feel that there's a significant difference with spending time together in person. Before this meetup, these two ladies originally planned of doing an online writing workshop through Google Meet. However, the plan got scrapped out two days before the event. Instead, Kim suggested that the three of us meet for coffee. I thought it would be great to have them around because next to getting to bond with them, I would need the help of these two ladies as I have some questions related to my ongoing writing project that needs their "expert opinion."

We decided to meet last June 19, a day before Father's Day. And because coffee has been our common denominator (next to Kdrama, books, and writing), I went online for coffee shops that we can try and found Kopicure. I first learned of this hangout place from one of my IG and blog followers, Nievs, who owns the blog, A Secret Fanfare. I learned a few weeks back that Kopicure used to be Drip Kofi Angono, the coffee shop that I wrote about on this blog back in February this year.

No one goes to coffee shops without having anything caffeinated from the menu. So despite trying to avoid caffeine loading after 4 pm, I went on to try their Iced Hazelnut Coffee. I'd say Kopicure keeps their menu simple because all their drinks are available in uniform size of Venti. The price for their coffee (hot or iced) ranges from 120 to 160 pesos. They also have ice blended as well as non-coffee-based drinks priced at 180 pesos. Non-caffeine drinks such as peach tea, matcha latte, berry hibiscus, and dark choco are also available at the price similar to their coffee-based beverages. If there was one that sets Kopicure apart from the previous coffee shop that occupied their space, it's having bread available on the menu. I got the Korean garlic cream cheese bread (for the sole reason that I love anything with cheese!) to go with my iced coffee. And while I am not a fan of garlic, this one won me over. I love how the combination of saltiness from the cheese and a bit of sweetness from the bun combine with the taste of garlic. At 85 pesos per piece, I'd say it's worth it.

While we were hoping to hang out at Kopicure a little longer, Beth requested if we can go somewhere to get a serving of hot coffee. Apparently, her order came out iced when she asked otherwise. But going to three different places inside the nearby SM Center Angono was an unsuccessful attempt. I was already thinking of bringing them to our house as a last resort! But I remembered Music Wizard Café could give Beth the hot coffee that she badly wanted.

Lo and behold, they serve hot drinks including the Americano that Beth has been wanting! I was not informed that that weekend trip was not just for caffeine loading but for carbo-loading too! So I ended up consuming more calories than I was supposed to.

While I've been familiar with Music Wizard Café since I frequented this place several times for after-work dinners with friends from the academe when I was still a paralegal, it has been a long time since I last gave the place a visit. Our trip from two weeks ago made quite a revelation as this place has improved since. And maybe, because of the ongoing pandemic, their service somehow got polished up too. Next to their food and drinks, I loved how the lighting and the interiors make a good backdrop for Instagram-worthy photos.

Even if the excessive caffeine screwed up my circadian rhythm the whole weekend, that Saturday was still well-spent. Next to the coffee and pastries, I had a great time discussing several things with these ladies especially getting some advice related to writing fiction! Yay for having writers and authors for friends. The two ladies are cooking another round of adventure this weekend. What and where to is something that you need to watch out for on this blog.

(Huge thank you shoutout to Kim for the photos.)

Kopicure

E.C Valle Commercial Center,

Baranggay San Isidro Angono, Rizal

Music Wizard Café

CPV Business Center

Manila East Road cor Col Guido Street,

Barangay San Roque, Angono, Rizal

January 2014- First time to be back in Rizal Park after 22 years!

As I type this entry, it's already Father's Day morning. While my Facebook news feed is starting to be filled with posts and greetings related to an occasion intended to honor dads, I decided to do my own version on this blog instead.

This post was born out of a light bulb moment I had days ago. While I was also aware that Father's Day was fast approaching, it's an undeniable fact that the person I would love to commemorate is no longer around physically. So as my way of remembering the person who has always been a fan of what I do in writing, I decided to use it by putting together some of the life lessons that he told me back then. I am not sure if he told me a lot of those because my Papa was mostly the "reserved person" that he is, but I'm able to recall at least a few which I deem to have made an impact on me on a lot of different things.

On surrendering on things you no longer have any control:

"Hindi naman masamang umayaw sa mga bagay na di mo naman kontrolado. Walang batas sa mundo na nagsasabi na bawal ang magsabi ng "hindi" o "ayoko na" kung nagawa mo na ang lahat o kung hindi mo na talaga kaya."

This was one of the earliest pieces of advice I heard from Papa when I was still fresh out of college. At that time, I was having second thoughts about whether to stay or leave my first job as an editorial assistant in a prestigious university. Part of me really wanted to leave because the stress and strain were already putting a toll on me both physically and emotionally, but I was hesitant of doing so simply because I was afraid to disappoint my parents. But this advice from him became one of my compasses when it concerns putting the right balance between work and well-being. It's okay to give it a shot and live one day at a time. But if you're already becoming jeopardized after giving the best that you can, you simply have to let go and move forward. Life will still offer you a thousand opportunities and chances and you can still be able to pick another one that you think will work best.

On humanity and compassion:

"If you want to know someone's personality, try observing the way they treat animals. For the amount of compassion that they give to an animal will be the same amount of compassion that they will give to people."

Next to plants, Papa has always been fond of animals. I grew up in a house that has dogs, cats, even 16 pairs of lovebirds as pets. And never did I saw Papa show violence against those creatures. He treats pets as part of the family as if they are people. Funny but whenever neighbors would tell us to adopt their pets, he would reply in jest that those puppies and kittens will just end up becoming my playmates -- or worst, I'd say his "original bunso"! But I guess there's truth in this advice in some way because even if some people often describe my father as someone who is reserved and quiet, I have also witnessed how he is like in the company of other people -- and how he treated them. Someone unselfish, considerate and kind. Seeing how my father was as a "pet parent" left me with an imprint as to how one's treatment of animals reflects the way one will possibly treat other people.

On taking care of your own belongings:

"If you look after your car well and with care, it will return the favor and serve you well in the long run too."

Papa has a knack for cars. I never dared and learned how to use Waze because I still find my father's instructions more reliable whenever I have to go somewhere. While I never learned driving skills, he would be the one who would drive me to appointments or even work sometimes. And one of his pet peeves would be a poorly maintained car. I wouldn't dare contradict Papa when he said this advice because he knows a lot about fixing a car and keeping it in tip-top shape. And indeed, Love begets love applies -- not even to people or relationships but even with one's prized possessions.

On heroism and what it means to be a hero;

"Hindi inililibing nang patago at tahimik ang totoong bayani ."

Regardless of other people's impression, one thing I loved about Papa is that he knows how to be so spot-on with his opinion. Yes, he may not be the kind that talks a lot when asked a question, but when he speaks his mind, Papa gets to really articulate them well. Years ago, at the height of a controversy over a "hero's burial" bestowed upon someone that a lot of people see as undeserving, Papa let out those words without warning. And even if I laughed at first upon hearing those words, I was left really surprised because indeed, what he said absolutely made sense.

On choosing and voting for the right politician:

"Piliin mo yung kandidato na maninindigan at ipinaglalaban kung ano ang tama. Kahit pa maliit ang posibilidad nilang manalo, doon ka pa rin tumaya. Yun ang iboto mo."

Aside from boxing and basketball, thoughts about politics are something that Papa has always been very vocal about. It's not that he doesn't mince his words, but when he voices out his opinions on issues involving certain situations or even politicians, sugarcoating is never an option. His viewpoint has always been spot-on and straightforward. When he gave me that advice almost three years ago, he was sick, the election was just a few months away and I was, at the same time, seeing someone whose job was also related to politics. And while I was hesitant to ask for advice (and tell him that the person I was seeing then was running for office), I guess it was his paternal instinct that prompted him to say those words; because when I expressed my apprehensions after being asked who I'll be voting for, those quick-witted words were what he told me. I guess I made the right decision to have posted those words on the day that he said it. For it's one of those words of his that I don't wish to forget.

I won't be ashamed to admit that I still miss Papa even if it has been almost three years since he passed on. He could have given me a lot of that intelligent advice today specially that I have been at home for more than a year. It makes me think that we could have used the whole 365 days by having more conversations about a lot of things but then, that one is no longer possible at least for now. But at least, he left me with a few of those wonderful pieces of advice which I got to write about today. I just hope that maybe, in the future, God can eventually let me meet someone as kind, articulate and prudent like my father -- the kind of person who I would enjoy exchanging thoughts and conversations with, and could possibly add more to this list of "favorite life lessons" that he was able to leave me with.