Archive for 2012

It's the last weekend of the year. And if there was one nice thing about going to work while everyone else is savoring their lengthy vacation, it's receiving unexpected surprises. Case in point, the following photo:

Another dream come true before the year ends. :-)

A few weeks before Christmas, one of our lawyers in the firm, Suzette informed me that she was coming home for the holidays. And as soon as I returned in the office last Thursday to work the last two remaining workdays of the year, one of the secretaries told me that I should really get in touch with her because she wanted to see us. And upon getting Suzette's number, we ironed out plans about meeting up.

Funny but I was both on work and planning mode at the same time. I was communicating between her, my other office mate Karla (the girl in pink printed dress) and Duncan who was unable to join us because he was spending the holidays in Pangasinan. We only finalized the meeting place the night before our scheduled meet up.

I was up early last Saturday. Blame it with my working hours or out of excitement but I will not deny any of those; because when I first found out that Suzette was from Manila (she joined the law firm three weeks after I came in in March of this year), I already hoped that I would eventually meet her. And fast forward to nine months, it happened. The three of us met at Italianni's in Glorietta 4. And what more would be expected? I was in a way, star strucked meeting Suzette for the first time (yes despite when she told Karla and I that she sat next to Coco Martin on her flight from Hongkong to Manila).

Just like the other peeps in the Australian office, Suzette was so cheerful and was also excited to have finally met us because she only hears our voices on the phone. Of course, we talked about a lot of things mostly about how it was in the Land Down Under. But then, what happens in Italianni's stays in Italianni's so I could not divulge them here.

Our weekend lunch was one of the best things to cap off the month. And Suzette was hoping to meet up with us again before she flies back to Australia as work resumes on January 7.

Dear ________,

Tonight is another Christmas Eve. How are you? I never thought that this night would come and I would find myself writing you this note. As I type every word, I wonder how your Christmas Eve is like – if it's the same as mine or if it is rather different.

As for me, I believe Christmas Eve is just the same to how it was years ago. I hate to take the seasonal joke that I am renewing my membership with the SMP group but then, it is somewhat true (at least weather wise).

More than thinking of how stagnant my Christmas Eve is, I can't help but think about you and how your Christmas Eve will be. And this is something new for me. Just a few weeks ago, I came across your page and read some of your posts. Some of them made me laugh, most of them left me amused, a few gave me a glimpse that you somewhat had a strong personality too.

Then there was this post that made me cry. I don't know why but it made me do two things that I have not done for so long. I could not even remember when the last time I sobbed so hard and so long was; but on the night I read what you have written, I found myself crying my heart out.

I just knew that unintentionally, I was shedding tears for someone else's grief and it's not a common thing. For the longest time I wondered how it is like coming home to someone else. Being welcomed by someone you see as significant after a long, tiring day and being asked how it has been. And coming across your words, I realized that in a way, someone else feels that way too. But I never expected that person to be you.

You have always told me that things happen for a purpose; I suppose there is one reason why just like you, I'm still on my own this Christmas Eve. I don’t know what will be in store for me for completing the nine evening novena masses this year. But despite finding it difficult to express my thoughts, I tried hard to tell God about my hope for an answered prayer to something I have been asking Him for so long. Years ago, I made a promise – to take care and stand by the side of someone I thought He had planned for me. While I knew I seriously wanted to fulfill this pledge, God has His reason why He declined. I told God I could not promise Him anything in exchange for my request. And this year, I asked Him again if He could grant me the opportunity to fulfill that once broken promise – this time, hopefully, with you.

The answer to my Christmas request is still a work in progress. And if God would allow it, I pledge that Mickey Mouse will no longer be lonesome and lonely anymore because at the end of each day, I will be the Minnie Mouse who will welcome you home.

A few hours ago, I just finished the nine masses of Simbang Gabi. I was able to do it for four consecutive years and the last time I accomplished the cycle was back in 2009. I had to set it aside for two years primarily because of work-related obligations.

But this year was different -- totally at that. A lot of good things had happened to me recently and realizing that my schedule finally allowed me to fit going to church for the said endeavor, I really blocked the dates of December 15-23 to perform a sacrifice. It was also more of an out of whim desire for me to do something which I missed doing. But as I get to accomplish one night to the other, I realized that in every mass, I get to pick up a valuable lesson.

I wrote each thought in a memo cube in my desk at the office every single day.
And since I'll be on vacation, I took this home to continue and kept it in
the page of the Bible which was a wedding gift to my parents.

In case, you can't read my handwriting the following are what I picked up in the nine nights I attended the novena masses:

The best way to show love and respect is to be willing to WAIT for the right time.
A legitimate child comes from the womb. But an adopted child comes from the HEART.
A bad news could eventually become a good news.
If you know how to believe in the impossible, that is when and where MIRACLES happen. CHRISTMAS is a time for miracles.
Saying YES to God does not guarantee that you will be free from problems. Instead, God will assure you that He will be with you during your life's difficult times.
If you serve others, do it wholeheartedly and God will take care of the rest.
Christmas is not about fulfilling the needs of the world, but fulfilling our needs as individuals. It's not about the decorations. The real meaning of Christmas is about Jesus being born in our hearts.
Greetings, more than just "hi" and "hello" are affirmations. And when you affirm someone, always look on the optimistic side. People who affirm with optimism creates a path that leads to meaningful relationships.
No matter how wonderful things seem to be, we all have our own realities to face. Despite of unanswered prayers, remember that God has something special in store for us.

Now, they say that once you complete the nine masses, you are entitled for a wish. It was the least thing in my mind. I had a hard time searching for words to verbalize what I was to ask for until I was halfway through doing this form of sacrifice. I will be giving out a huge lie if I said I did not dare to wish for something. I admit, I did ask too. But what I realized in the end was that doing this as a sacrifice was worth it. It was not easy to wake up as early as 4:30 am to go to work and come home at 10:00 pm from the mass, but God provided me the strength and worked miracles on my schedule just so I will still have the energy to make it to church. And when I think of it, God has been so kind to hear many of my prayers and doing this act that comes once in a year is the least thing I could do to give back with all the blessing that He has provided me with.

Photo: Time.com

"When a wife loses a husband, she is called a widow. When a husband loses his wife, he is called a widower. When a child loses his parents, he is called an orphan. But when parents lose a child, there is no name for it."

I first heard these words from a Homily in the mass Fr. Jerry Orbos officiated years ago and it made a mark. Today, I ponder on it again as I read through the horrifying shooting incident at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut.When I first saw the Facebook status of one of my friends living in the United States, I did not have an inkling of what was happening. But as days passed, I would read one article after the other about the death of 26 people, 20 of whom are children the same age as my nephew and my godchild.

As I read every news on the internet everyday, questions and convictions form in my mind. More than just a venue of learning, schools are supposed to be a place where there is a feeling of security as it resembles the home.These kids died young and could have made a difference if they were only given the chance to live.

But they died in a senseless, brutal manner -- and they don't deserve that.

These children died happily anticipating Christmas with their families which will never happen. It is a sad thought that the Yuletide season will never be the same for those they left behind.

My best friend and even my mom once told me, (in the event of) death of a child, half of a parent's life dies with them too -- and it's among the hardest part of being a parent. The other day, while I was in the supermarket fetching the items I was to donate for our company outreach, I could not help but discreetly shed a tear. Despite that I don't have kids yet, I felt like maternal instinct hit me. For the first time, the thought of "what if one of those kids were my son or my daughter?" entered my mind. The thought was enough to throw my heart in a pit of inexplicable grief.

I've always had the belief that children are supposed to outlive their parents and not the other way around. And it is every parent's earnest wish to be able to see their kids grow up and be who they could become. If only that could remain the same way forever. Recovering from a harrowing ordeal as this would take years. I pray that the families of the victims would somehow find comfort from our prayers and in the assurance that in time, Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

After what had been a long, busy 18 days, I get to sit down and write. Likewise, things related to work had kept my hands tied up, then there was that long November holiday weekend which I spent for errands and bonding time with the family then came my big day.

My birthday was a great one. I had a blast and so far, this has been my best birthday. I celebrated some "firsts". Last Monday, one of my wishful thought of celebrating my big day in the office as someone who's employed (and full time at that) was fulfilled. It never dawned on me that this was about to happen until a couple of days before. Incidentally, last Monday also happened to be my 8th month in the firm and my boss was generous enough to allow me to have the rest of the afternoon all to myself to attend to some appointments and to celebrate.

Photo: Google Images

Some things are worth the wait. Believe it. I've been saying that line for a lot of times. On my special day, this proved to be true -- because God answered my prayer. Aside from those mentioned above, I actually had a "real wish". While I've known myself to seek refuge in prayer for a lot of reasons, it was during this time that I found myself doing something different -- I was more specific with what I was praying for.

But it's not just that. At one point, I came across Eliza Wilson's article about The 7 P's in Prayer and thought of applying it to what I've been doing.

Patient- We all want to get what we prayed for. But God answers prayers in three ways -- YES, NO and WAIT. In my case, He opted to let me wait before revealing to me the best answer which was eventually a YES.

Perseverent - I prayed fervently for my wish not for days or weeks, but for 3 months. And I did not mind doing that repeatedly; because it was during those quiet moments in prayer too that I found solace.

Personal- Use your own words when you pray. Describe how you feel in an honest and straightforward way. The strength of a prayer is not measured in what you say, but in how you say it and in how you feel.

Powerful- When I first let out what I wanted, I admit I had both the doubt and fear that God will not grant it at all. But the truth is, as we learn how God works, as we learn to distinguish His voice among the confusing whispers of this world, we also learn to rely on Him. It's all about three things: FAITH, TRUST and above all, LOVE.

Passionate- It means putting your heart and soul into something. You can’t be cold-hearted in prayer. God sometimes wants us to take risks. For unless we try, we will never really know.

Profound- A profound prayer can be a prayer reflecting your most hidden inner feelings.

Positive- We don’t know the complex mechanisms of this universe and how it all works. But we do know there is a balance between good and evil, between positive and negative. God doesn't ask us to understand. But He does want us to stick to the positive side. In the course of three months that I was praying, there were moments when I'd just feel my wish won't come true. But it was at that same time when something would remind me to BELIEVE IT WILL HAPPEN. IT REALLY WILL.

In a way, it was all about believing, praying and working on it that made things happen. Funny but a few days ago, I was telling someone, "that line in the movie when Bea said not because you want it, you'll get it is wrong. It's completely Hollywood :-p"

Because God's Will is what is in your deepest desire. And if Divine Providence intervenes, you do really get what you pray for.

There's a reason to feel like being on top of the world.

The Chinese people has this belief that 7 is a lucky number. Well, I do have a quarter of that since my great grandmother is Chinese so I guess I am entitled to receive some amount of "luck". Yesterday, I celebrated my seventh month of being with and working for the law firm. And while I was reserving the party for the next few weeks, I had to give in to my whim to celebrate the day.

When I got the job in March this year, there has always been a question of how long will this be. In the past, it has always been my prayer that God would let me just get through the first six months. I just don't know why it has been that way. Probably because in my head, I would feel more safe if I would be able to get through the first 180 days of uncertainty and after that, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

But just like the Bible verse said, "don't worry about tomorrow. It will deal on its own." The first few days were more of adjusting which was normal and as the days come and go, I realized things have been getting better. I remember telling my friend Januver that while this is a job, I still feel like going to school every single day of my life. And it indeed is; because I keep learning something new each passing day. As of this moment, I've been on the second week of taking an interim post to cover the job of two assistants while they are on leave. Funny but when I accepted it, the hesitation came afterwards; something that I was upfront in telling my boss about. And all the while that I was stressing about will I fair or fail with the tasks, I would later find out that the boss offered me the job because he believed that I was the right person to do it.

I just needed to believe in myself -- the same way that the boss believed in me.

Yesterday, I got to talk to the boss again. Just as we were about to end the phone call, he began his sentence with "and one more thing". Now, this sent some shivers in my spine because I thought I might have screwed something up or perhaps, he wants me to do another assigned task. But instead, I heard the lines that I never expected.

"You've been doing great (with the job). Things have been better since we started having you around and I thought I had to let you know."

I only manged to utter a surprised "oh" (and with a Filipino accent at that) in disbelief over what I just heard. All I knew was that I was just happily doing my job with a fulfilled heart like how it has been in the past months. I knew it was just a random thought when I said "surprise me". Maybe God was randomly visiting Facebook and chanced upon what I said. We wrapped the conversation and I went back to work gratified. The wonderful feedback did not immediately sink in my head. But when I was already in the comfort of my own home, it was then when I tried to play it again in my head and it is enough to cause those happy tears to escape.

God willing, next month will be a double celebration. I keep praying that this is going to be for the long haul.

I just attended the How to Find Your One True Love seminar yesterday. Currently, I'm still regaining my strength since I had been away from home for almost the whole day. When I first received the email announcing the seminar last August 16, I was naturally excited that I sent my inquiries and all eager to participate to an event I had, in a sense, yearned to attend to. Call it being caught in the spur of a moment but that's the apt way to describe what I first did.

But just when everything has been settled and I was only waiting for the directions and the big day, I found myself having these jitters and cold feet. Yes. I had worries. I did not tell my mom that the seminar I will be attending was about those single people who would want to get the know how of hopefully giving their current status a change and hoping to find answers to some questions. I was scared of being tagged as doing a "desperate move" so I just kept it to myself until when I came home last night. Days before the event, prior to getting the directions, I had been worrying if I'd be able to figure out the way to the venue and much more, I had this fear of getting lost and being unable to make it to the event.

The thought of quitting came to my mind. But one advice worked.

"Never choose in the presence of useless fears."

I realized my fears were indeed of the useless kind. When I was on my way to the venue yesterday morning, I never got lost nor have the difficulty in locating Valle Verde Country Club -- thanks to the cab driver who was with his wife on the trip. Being in that event did not mean doing a desperate move for I met new people -- even friends at that. If you still want to call attending so a desperate move, well, I'm not alone at it (and that's too shallow for me to be concerned of).

And talk about meeting people, if there was one thing that highlighted this endeavor that I braved, it would be this:

Dream come true! Yeah!

I finally had the opportunity to meet the guy behind some of my favorite Catholic inspirational books! Bo Sanchez was among the speakers in the seminar. I've seen and heard him preach on TV but the experience of hearing him speak in person was more thrilling. He talks with full conviction, faith and humor. I was also able to mingle with another speaker, Rissa Singson-Kawpeng who is the editor-in-chief of Kerygma Magazine. It's now that I think if I opted to back out with what I originally planned, I would have missed the chance of seeing and realizing one of my dreams come true right before my eyes.

It's just the second day of the "ber" month. I'm still 27 and little by little my "old" wishes are coming true one by one. Now, I'm starting to believe at what my colleague Sunny once told me. That often it's good to have some challenge in your life -- and braving it!

MABUHAY!

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